Mouth Mastery

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” (Proverbs 17:28)

Food For Thought: My father used to say to me, “Keep your mouth shut and appear to be a fool. Open it and remove all doubt.” I think there is wisdom in that! The truth is, I have never gotten into hot water for what I haven’t said—not to my knowledge anyway; it’s what I have said that has caused problems.

Now obviously, reluctance or inability to communicate can cause all kinds of problems. It can be disastrous in a marriage. A dating relationship probably won’t go too far if you plead the fifth. Not good in a job interview either! Silence probably won’t impress people when you’re trying to break into a circle of potential friends. God created us with a mouth—the trick is to know when and how to use it.

But…

…The previous verse, Proverbs 17:27, says, “The one who knows much says little…” In other words, a wise person employs an economy of words. The rest of the verse goes on to say, “a person who demonstrates understanding stays calm.” They don’t react too quickly; they’ve learned to master their mouth; they think before they speak.

More sage advice from dear old dad: “Son, the reason God gave you two ears but only one mouth is so you’d listen twice as much as you speak.” I think he’d been reading Proverbs…or James. James 1:19-20 says,

“Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

A researcher found that Americans carry on an average of thirty conversations a day and will spend one-fifth of their life talking. In one year’s time, our conversations could fill sixty-six books at 800 pages each.

How is it then, with so much practice speaking, few of us have ever gained consistent mastery of our mouths? In reality, our mouths get us into a lot of trouble—early and often. And I’m not talking just a little trouble. I mean serious trouble. An undisciplined and overused tongue literally destroys marriages, ends relationships, and kills careers many times over every day on Planet Earth. That’s why Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

That’s a pretty powerful truth. And that’s why we’ve got to get on top of this tongue-taming business. One of your greatest achievements in life will be if you can lick your tongue 🙂

Now the truth is, your tongue is not really the problem. It is only symptomatic of something deeper. Your tongue is a kind of spiritual dipstick that reveals what’s in the reservoir of your heart. A problem with your tongue really means you have a heart problem.

A person with a harsh tongue has an angry heart; a negative tongue comes from a fearful heart; an overactive tongue reveals an insecure heart; a boasting tongue is from a prideful heart; a filthy tongue has an impure heart; a person who is critical all the time has a bitter heart.

On the other hand, a person who is always encouraging has a joyful heart. One who speaks gently has a loving heart. Someone who speaks truthfully has an honest heart.

So what’s the solution to managing your mouth? I like what Lloyd Ogilvie says: “You’ve got to heart your tongue.”

That means, first of all, you’ve got to get a new heart. Mouth control begins with a heart transplant. Ezekiel 18:31 says, “Rid yourself of all the offenses you have committed and get a new heart and a new spirit!” Painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well. I can change the outside and turn over a new leaf, but what I really need is a transformed life. I need supernatural surgery from the Great Physician.

How can I get that? David prayed in Psalm 51, “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” Maybe you ought to pray that prayer right now, because God is in the heart transplant business. Ezekiel 36:26 says of God, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Then once God gives you a new heart, ask him for help every day. You need supernatural power to control your tongue. You can’t do it alone. Your life is a living proof of that. That’s why you’ve got to ask God for his help every day. The writer of Psalm 141:3 wisely prayed, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

That’s a great verse to memorize and pray every morning: “God, muzzle my mouth. Don’t let me be critical or judgmental or harsh today. Don’t let me say things that I’ll regret.” If you ask God for help, he will.

Finally, the solution to mastering your mouth is in the discipline of thinking before you speak. Back to James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” One quick and two slows. In other words, engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear.

Control your thinking and you’ll control your speaking. Control your speaking and you’ll control you whole life. And the best way to control your thinking is by filling your mind with the Word of God. What goes into your mind, gets into your heart, and what gets into your heart comes out of your mouth. Saturate your mind with the things of God—his Word, uplifting spiritual conversations, inspiring praise music—and you’ll find greater success in turning your tongue into a tool for the glory of God!

Someone has pointed out that there are 800,000 words in the English language, and 300,000 of them are technical terms. The average person knows 10,000 words and uses 5,000 in everyday speech.

What would happen today if we took the advice of Proverbs and cut those 5,000 in half, thought before we used any of the other 2,500, and made a commitment to use all of them to praise God and build others up?

Maybe we’d start a relational revolution!

Prayer: Dear God, your Word says in James that if I can master my mouth, I will be pretty much in control of everything else in my life. But your Word is also realistic about how challenging that kind of mastery will be for me. And over and over again, I have proven that. Mouth management is such a huge challenge for me, and for everyone I know. So I ask for your help, O Lord, to bring my speech under the control of the Holy Spirit. I want my words to bring honor to you and edification to the people around me. I want my tongue to be an instrument of praise. I want my speech to reveal that my mind has been saturated with your Word. I want my mouth to be proof that my heart has been purified by your cleansing power. Lord, create in me a clean heart, renew my mind, set a guard over my mouth, and let all of my words be pleasing to you, I pray. Amen!

One More Thing… “The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit.” —Francios Fenelon