SYNOPSIS: Knowing and loving the truth may be the most difficult aspect of agape love to figure out in today’s American culture where the virtue of truth has been replaced with relativism. Propositional truth — something is either a) true or b) false — is rapidly being replaced by a version of an ever-changing truth that is based on an emotion of the moment, a current ideology, or a preferred perspective. From the top to the bottom of our leading institutions — government, media, business, and academia — as James” Russell Lowell presciently warned, “Truth forever on the scaffold, Wrong forever on the throne.” But as God-lovers, we must be truth-finders, truth-speakers, and truth-lovers! If we don’t pursue truth, as difficult, fatiguing, and confusing as that may be these days, we will know neither agape love nor be a conduit of it.

Making Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:6

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Have you heard someone talk about “their truth” or say, “Well, that’s true for you but not for me”? There is a rare New Testament Greek word to describe that: BALONEY!

God defines truth, and He loves it. So should we. Here’s the Living Bible’s paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:6, “Love rejoices whenever truth wins out.”

This may be the most difficult aspect of agape love to figure out in today’s American culture where the virtue of truth has been replaced with relativism. Propositional truth — something is either a) true or b) false — is rapidly being replaced by a version of truth that is based on an emotion of the moment, or a current ideology, or a preferred perspective. From the top to the bottom of our leading institutions — government, media, business, and academia — as James” Russell Lowell presciently warned, “Truth forever on the scaffold, Wrong forever on the throne.”

But blurring the lines of truth hasn’t stopped at the doors of our institutions, it’s commonplace in our homes as well. Recent studies estimate that 60% of adults will lie on average three times within a ten-minute conversation. (https://brandongaille.com/24-nose-growing-statistics-on-lying/) Now there’s a great example we’re setting for our kids, wouldn’t you say!

Philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote, “Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it.” As believers, for agape love to flourish in and flow from our lives, we must search out the truth in all things, as difficult as it is to find, and rejoice when it triumphs over that which is false.

A God-lover must be a truth-finder, a truth-speaker, and truth-lover! If we don’t pursue truth, as difficult, fatiguing, and confusing as that may be these days, we will not know agape love nor be a conduit of it.

God help us to find, know, speak, and love the truth!

SYNOPSIS: Let’s long for the day when God metes out retributive justice, but at a much greater ratio, let’s put love into action by conduiting his reparative justice to those who have unjustly suffered at the hands of bad people and evil systems. Perhaps the most enlightening yet challenging insight on the blend of this two-sided justice coin comes from Micah 6:8: “God has shown you what is good and what He requires of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Do you want to be a conduit of agape love in your world? Then embody justice in your actions, but make sure the scales are tipped in favor of mercy, and for sure, stay humble before the God who can rightly meet out His justice upon you but instead put it upon Jesus in your place.

Making Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:6

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

God’s love flowing through us—agape love—is deliriously happy when His justice rules the day. Of course, “justice” has become a political flashpoint these days—just mention social justice to your friends, and depending on their political orientation, especially in extremis, they’ll either air-kiss in the vicinity of both your cheeks or ghost you like a weird uncle.

Don’t forget, however, that God is a just God, and he expects us to love justice as well—both theologically AND practically.

What does justice look like? Theologian Herman Bavinck says God’s justice doesn’t just punish evildoers (boy we love that one!), but it repairs those who are victims of injustice (give that some thought!). Furthermore, Bavnick notes, “God’s [reparative] justice is far more prominent in Scripture than his retributive justice.”

Yes, let’s long for the day when God metes out retributive justice, but at a much greater ratio, let’s put love into action by conduiting his reparative justice to those who have unjustly suffered at the hands of bad people and evil systems.

Perhaps the most enlightening yet challenging insight on the blend of this two-sided justice coin comes from Micah 6:8: “God has shown you what is good and what He requires of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Do you want to be a conduit of agape love in your world? Then embody justice in your actions, but make sure the scales are tipped in favor of mercy, and for sure, stay humble before the God who can rightly meet out His justice upon you but instead put it upon Jesus in your place.

To then embody God’s justice in your actions, make sure the scales are tipped in favor of mercy.

“ Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. — MARTIN LUTHER KING

SYNOPSIS: If an altogether holy God, who cannot tolerate sin in His glorious presence, can forget our sins, then certainly we flawed human beings can forget the sins of our fellow sinners. In fact, if we want to be a conduit of God’s love on earth, we have to get really good at forgetting, as God does. Now, can an omniscient God truly forget our sins? No, but what He can do is choose not to remember them. And He does! How does He do that? He creates an unbridgeable chasm between us and our sins, according to Psalm 103:12. So, if God does that for us, then we cannot continue to be record keepers with those who are in our lives—we must become good forgetters.

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)

Love does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.

Are you a record keeper? Do you tend to hang onto past offenses, slights, and oversights? Are you one to nurse a grudge? Stop and think about how harmful that is—and not just to the one who has offended you, but to you. Unforgiveness is toxic. As someone has humorously but accurately put it, not forgiving another is like drinking rat poison … then waiting for the rat to die. Christ-followers are to be good forgetters. You see, true love learns to let offenses slip away like water off a duck’s back.

If an altogether holy God, who cannot tolerate sin in His glorious presence, can forget our sins, then certainly we flawed human beings can forget the sins of our fellow sinners. In fact, if we want to be a conduit of God’s love on earth, we have to get really good at forgetting, as God does. Now, can an omniscient God truly forget our sins? Of course not, but what He can do is choose not to remember them.

How does God do that? He creates an unbridgeable chasm between us and our sins, according to Psalm 103:12,

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Now if God does that for us, then we cannot continue to be record keepers with those who are in our lives—we must get good at letting go of those offenses, slights, and oversights. And one of the most helpful and motivating things we can do to achieve this impossible task is to think early and often about God’s forgetfulness when it comes to the sins for which we have repented. Slowly, meditatively, and gratefully read through these verses on God’s forgetfulness.

• I will be merciful to them in their wrongdoings, and I will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12
• I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins Isaiah 43:25
• I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more. Hebrews 10:17
• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
• And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. Jeremiah 31:34
• Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. Isaiah 1:18
• Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out. Acts 3:19
• Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
• Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
• There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
• He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19

That last verse from Micah led to the Jewish tradition that thought of God as casting our sins into “the sea of forgetfulness.” While there is no mention of that in the Bible, it certainly is an appropriate and beautiful image of what God does for us. And that would be an appropriate and beautiful image of how we should treat the offenses of those who have sinned against us.

So, in light of that, if you are one to hold onto offenses, then stop. It is not the way of Christ! And for sure, it is impossible to be the source of God’s love to people while holding past offenses against them.

Remember, love keeps no record of wrongs!

“ To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. — C. S. LEWIS

Synopsis: How do you turn the emotion of love into the motion of love for someone who’s getting under your skin? How can you act lovingly toward a chronic irritant? One of the most powerful motivations for loving that person who is not too loveable at the moment is to realize that what irritates you about them is truly the pathway for you to discover what God desires to change in you. Whoever is irritating you today, leverage that irritation for personal growth. The famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung was right, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” For that reason, thank God for the growth opportunity He is providing you through that irritating friend!

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:5 (TLB)

Love is not irritable or touchy.

Irritable people … you have them in your life; I do, too! Yet true love, God’s love flowing through us, is never irritable; instead, it is always patient and kind…and grateful! So how do you turn the emotion of love you feel for the one who is getting under your skin into the motion of love … how can you act lovingly toward them?

One of the most powerful motivations for loving that unlovely person is to realize that what irritates you about others is truly the pathway for you to discover what God desires to change in you. Whoever or whatever is irritating you today, leverage it for change and growth in yourself…and thank God for the opportunity! As CarlJung noted,

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Who is irritating you today? Take a moment to think about what Nancy Pearcey writes, “In today’s grievance culture, it seems that some new group is always coming forward to complain that they are offended. It can be easy for Christians to pick up the same victim language. But our motivation for speaking out should not be only that we are offended. After all, we are called to share in the offense of the Cross. We are called to love the offender. Christians will be effective in reaching out to others only when they reflect biblical truth in their message, their method, and their manners.”

So today, remember that the one who is irritating you so much is likely the very person God has chosen to perfect His will in you. Since that is true, consider that they are truly a gift from God to you!

SYNOPSIS: If a relationship goes off the rails, when is it time to, in Christ’s famous words, shake the dust off your feet and move on or to keep offering patient, unselfish, sacrificial love? The key to understanding which is appropriate is the biblical context for either option. The shake-the-dust context was hostile unbelievers and the love-is-not-selfish context was relationships in the body of Christ. Big difference! And in each context, back then and right now, God expects us to exhibit a merciful heart. Mercy, which is simply loving-kindness flowing in our thoughts, words, and actions, triumphs over judgment as we respond to both insolent unbelievers — even when divine judgment is forthcoming — as well as believers who irritate us — even when divine discipline is forthcoming. In the case of the latter, keep in mind that irritation is not the same as a moral offense — and it is wisdom to discern the difference —  so keep the default set to unselfish love.

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT)

Love does not demand its own way.

Last week, after my Love Is Not Selfish post where I appealed to believers to reject the cancel culture/ghosting a friend secular mentality that has invaded the American Church, a friend wrote to me with a great question: “What about washing the dust from your feet and declaring them — evil people — a lost cause, as Paul wrote in the New Testament?”

So let me clarify my thoughts. As always, context is king. In 1 Corinthians, Paul is generally speaking to issues and abuses among brothers and sisters in the Corinthian church, and there were a bunch!

Specifically, in chapter 13, Paul is talking about propriety in worship: how the believers are to carry out loving relationships within that church and how they are to offer their everyday lives as an offering to God (which, broadly, is what worship truly is, see Romans 12:1-2) as well as how they are to lift their praise in songs and through spiritual gifts during corporate gatherings (which is worship narrowly defined). In the case of worship, both broadly and narrowly defined, they are to treat each other with the deferential, edifying love Paul describes in chapter 13, which he defines in verses 4-8a,

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.…love goes on forever.

From this context, we then can apply that deferential love to general Christian brother and sister relationships, as I am doing in these “Love Is” blog posts. When a relationship in that context goes off the rails because of indisputable moral grievances (and not just things that rub our preferences the wrong way), in Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus gave us a process for taking the conflict to church leaders for resolution.

According to Jesus, to resolve a conflict with a God-honoring outcome, the most foundational and critical principle that must be followed comes from His opening words: “If a brother sins against you.” The operative word is “if.” That is, the offended party must assess whether the offense was truly a sin, or if it was simply an act that irritated or violated their personal preferences.

In my experience facilitating conflict resolution, much of what people find offensive never rises to the level of a sin that needs to be confronted. In these cases, the offended party was, in reality, the culprit, and simply needed to grow thicker skin, develop greater tolerance, and/or learn to more effectively communicate their upset with the offender with grace and love.

Jesus also provided another essential to conflict resolution: once it has been determined that the offense was indeed the result of a sin, the issue is to first be addressed privately, just between the two parties. Too many people are quick to jump past this hoop and go right to group involvement. If you have not first addressed your hurt with the offender, do not take it to others and try to get them on your side. God will not honor that kind of action, and it will not produce what God desires most within His family: reconciliation in broken relationships.

However, Jesus does provide a clause by which others should be drawn into the dispute if the sinning party won’t listen to you. That is when others may need to be brought in to mediate and reconcile the offense. These participants should be godly and objective representatives of Christ’s church (not necessarily church officials, but simply mature, respectable Christians, although church leaders do, or should, carry the weight of final authority in disputes). And here is something very important that believers must recognize: Christ himself has placed His mantle of authority on this group to settle the dispute and if need be, administer discipline to an unrepentant brother or sister—discipline that will stand up even in the courts of heaven: What you bind on earth is bound in heaven; what you release on earth is released in heaven. (Matthew 18:18)

A final essential piece to conflict resolution is that the desired outcome is restoration. Jesus said, “If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Unfortunately, some people believe that getting what they want is the goal. It is not. Resolving the dispute, forgiving the offense, restoring the relationship, and preserving the harmony of the church is the outcome most honoring to God.

You can read more on Jesus’ approach to conflict resolution in a blog I wrote.

Now about “Shake the dust off your feet.” This is an altogether different context, which has to do with proclaiming the gospel and calling for repentance to a resistant, if not hostile, group of unbelieving people. Only when you have exhausted your gospel appeal can you then proclaim God’s judgment and walk away. Yet even then we must remember how Jesus modeled the proclamation of impending judgment to an unbelieving city: He wept over Jerusalem when she had rejected him? “O Jerusalem, how I would gather you as a hen gathers her brood under her wings … but now your city will be left desolate.” (Matt 23:37) There was no glee as Jesus announced judgment; rather, love is still pouring forth from His broken heart.

So, the context of both “love is not selfish” and “shake the dust off your feet” is the key to balancing when to nurture a loving relationship with someone who has offended you and when to proclaim loving judgment upon a hostile unbeliever. Mercy, which is nothing more than loving-kindness flowing from our hearts, triumphs over judgment as we respond to both wayward believers— even though loving discipline is on the way, as well as wicked unbelievers — even though God’s righteous judgment is on the way.

“ You are truly wise if you understand that everything offending you is not a moral offense. — RAY NOAH

SYNOPSIS: We live in an age of outrage. The grievance industry is alive and well. Say the wrong thing and you’ll get canceled. And if you think that’s outside the church, think again! Over the past few weeks, I’ve interviewed dozens of pastors from around the country who’ve told of too many heartbreaking stories of church members who’ve been ghosted, canceled, and met with hostility by other “believing” family members and church friends these past two years over politics, pandemic protocols, and cultural concerns. And all of them, like me, have personally experienced the same. What selfishness! Friends, this ought not to be in Christ’s family! Love—agape love—doesn’t ghost a friend or cancel a family member or express outrage when people don’t believe like you, vote like you, or please you. Love does not demand its own way.

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT)

Love does not demand its own way.

Love is not selfish. You would agree, right?

But think of the selfish nature of our current culture, not only outside but inside the church, which is supposed to be the family of God, characterized by followers of Jesus loving each other no matter what, being loyal to each other no matter what, expecting the best of each other, no matter what, standing their ground in defending each other, no matter what.

“Ghosting” a friend. Cancel culture. The age of outrage. If you think that’s outside the church, think again! Over the past few weeks, I’ve interviewed two dozen pastors from around the country who’ve told of too many heartbreaking stories of church members who’ve been ghosted, canceled, met with hostility by other “believing” family members and church friends these past two years over politics, pandemic protocols, and cultural concerns. And all of them, like me, have personally experienced the same.

What of Christ is there in that?

Friends, there’s no place for this in the Body of Christ. Love—agape love—doesn’t ghost a friend or cancel a family member. It doesn’t demand that people believe like you, vote like you, or live their lives to please you. Love does not demand its own way.

But if you have, I admonish you to repent before God and go to that person you’ve treated unlovingly and ask for their forgiveness. Listen: a friend is born for adversity (even adversity in the relationship), family loves at all times (even when you disagree over mandates or candidates), and unity in Christ is far more important than any temporal earthly concern (including current political beliefs).

Love never, ever demands its own way!

Love—agape love—doesn’t ghost a friend or cancel a family member or express outrage when people don’t believe like you, vote like you, or please you. Love does not demand its own way.

#afriendisbornforadversity

“ Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! — SOLOMON

SYNOPSIS: What explains the nasty, age of outrage, knee-jerk cancel culture that America now is? How about a growing culture of contempt. And while it’s easy to fall into that cultural pattern, as Christ-followers, we’re called to banish contempt, which reveals itself in the form of rudeness, which in turn expresses its ugly self in the form of putdowns, sarcasm, and angry outbursts. Rudeness, along with its foot soldiers, must be ruthlessly removed from our bag of responses, whether nursed in our minds, spoken through our words, or delivered by our actions. It matters not if our rudeness is directed at a spouse, a sibling, a coworker, a friend, the President, or to no one in particular on a social media post, love is NEVER rude; rather it is ALWAYS kind and patient and gentle and good and uplifting. If you will choose to be a person who always builds up and never puts down, you will be a conduit of agape love! (I Cor 8:1; 13:4)

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)

Love is … not rude.

Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength, as Eric Hoffer noted. Just remember that when you have been treated rudely, or when you are tempted to treat someone rudely.

In reality, rudeness is nothing more than a thinly veiled and poorly disguised form of anger. And, unfortunately, it seems to be the gateway drug to other, worse ways that we treat people. Rudeness can turn to anger, spite, derision, contempt, and eventually to “canceling” (currently, the cultural response du jour), another person from our lives. All of the above, I believe, fit into what Jesus warned against in Matthew 5:22,

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Often our rudeness is the gateway drug for other nastiness. It morphs into disdain for others, which then becomes derision, and in turn the conduit of words flung at or about another usually through name-calling and put-downs. In the Greek text of Matthew, Jesus used the word “Raca,” which literally meant, “you nobody…you empty head.” It’s like the oft-used put-downs, “he’s an airhead,” or “she a dumb blond.”

Those kinds of put-downs aren’t so much about the lack of intelligence of the person to whom they’re directed, but the rudeness of the person from which they came. It’s a particularly nasty form of contempt for another human being that has no place among God’s people.

But even worse, Jesus says, is when we express our disdain for someone, whether it comes in the form of rudeness or out-and-out rage, in a way that poisons their reputation in the eyes of others. Jesus says we do that when we call someone a “fool”. The Greek word is moros; the word moron comes from it. Moros refers not so much to the content in a person’s head—or lack thereof—but the content of their character—what makes them who they are! It’s the worst kind of murder of all: to assassinate another’s character; to murder their reputation; to kill their standing in the eyes of others.

Have you ever become so disgusted with someone that you can’t stand the sight of them—or disliked their personality so much that you snarl when you use their name? Have you expressed derision for the president lately or some other political leader who turns your stomach? When you think of others with whom you completely disagree, are your thoughts about them full of disgust and contempt? Jesus says that kind of rudeness on steroids is a killer of relationships.

Back in 1994, U. S. News and World Report presented some research about married couples who either stayed together or split up during their first decade of marriage. Interestingly, those who endured and those who didn’t looked remarkably similar in the early days. But they found a very subtle difference: Among couples who ultimately stayed together, 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were put-downs. Among couples who split up, 10 of every 100 comments were insults. But that gap grew wider over the following decade, until unhealthy couples were flinging five times the put-downs as healthy couples. The researchers concluded: “Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time.”

Rudeness, in whatever form, acts as cancerous cells that erode any relationship over time. It will erode the love to which we are called as Christ-followers to demonstrate toward all people. And in the end, it will erode the heart of the one who is rude.

We live in a culture of contempt—and it’s easy to fall in line with that pattern—but we’re called to banish rudeness, putdowns, sarcasm, anger, and contempt from our response to others, whether it is just in our thoughts or it comes through our words or it is delivered through our actions. Whether toward a spouse or a sibling or a coworker or the president or any other person, love is never rude but it is always kind and patient and gentle and good and uplifting.

As Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, let’s “be kind and compassionate to one another.”

If rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength, choose today to show how truly strong you are by choosing kindness, patience, gentleness, goodness, and encouragement in your actions and reactions. That is love!

“ When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. — UNKNOWN

SYNOPSIS: You cannot be loving and prideful at the same time. One destroys the other. You see, pride blinds us to the world around us—and to the world within us. It makes us think others are worse than they are and we are better than we are. And if that weren’t bad enough, it blinds us to God—to who He is, to what He is doing, and to what He wants from us. In reality, pride blinds us to our own pride, and that is what makes it so destructive. That is why the God of love hates pride. We should, too, especially our own pride.

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)

Love is … not proud.

It is helpful to remember that Paul is describing love, both positively (it is patient, kind, truth-loving, determined, faithful, hopeful, and enduring) and negatively (it is not jealous, boastful, proud, rude, selfish, irritable, resentful, or unjust) in the context of Christian worship and service. While this can be applied to marriage, family, and friendships, the primary application is how those in the body of Christ are to relate to one another.

As Paul teaches elsewhere, Christ-followers are to, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Rom 12:10) Jesus said the preeminent quality that will draw the world’s attention to him will be the love his disciples display to each other: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

That high call to love, wherever it is found in the New Testament writings, requires an attitude of humility, servanthood, and selflessness and is therefore impossible when human pride resides in the heart. How is that?

Pride blinds us to the world around us … and to the world within us. It makes us think others are worse than they are and we are better than we are. And if that weren’t bad enough, it blinds us to God—to who He is, to what He is doing, and to what He wants from us. In reality, pride blinds us to our own pride, and that is what makes it so destructive.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis noted, “A proud person is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

Ultimately, our pride’s ability to blind will lead us to the opposite of love: a life of lovelessness, insensitivity, judgment attitudes, and even hatred, which is simply a life that doesn’t proactively demonstrate love. Lewis went on to say that at the end of the day, without proactive love, “we shall insist on seeing everything—God and our friends and ourselves included—as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred.”

Lewis then described the corrosive effects of human pride:

Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one’s first feeling, ‘Thank God, even they aren’t quite so bad as that,’ or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black.

That is how we begin to see others as bad and not be able to stop doing it. We become judgmental, critical, harsh, and superior. Sadly, that is how we become forever fixed in a universe where lovelessness rules our lives.

And that is why pride is the core of all sin, why it is so dangerous, and why the God of love hates it so viscerally and vociferously! Don’t believe me, consider the following verses

I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Prov 8:13)

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Prov 11:2)

The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished. (Prov 16:5)

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov 16:18)

What do those verses say about you and me and our propensity for pride? Again, simply this: you cannot exhibit God’s love if you tolerate pride in your life. One will destroy the other.

So at all costs, make sure love wins in your life!

“ Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you. — ANDREW MURRAY

SYNOPSIS: Are your opinions a conduit for arrogance? 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that true love, the kind of love that emanates from God, the kind of love that Christ-followers are to model, is never arrogant. That is, it never struts, never gets a big head, and it never powers up on another. So, how does that play out in the real world of your daily life? Well, I’d say more practically than you’d think. For example, take how you express your opinions. The arrogance that fuels an uninvited, unhelpful, and often uninformed view plows right through the flashing yellow lights of human relationships without pumping the brakes, leaving a trail of relational wreckage — usually in the name of “speaking the truth in love.” And in this age of social media, where there are no flashing lights warning us of dangerous relational curves ahead, isn’t there a lot of that? Whether you are on the receiving end of another’s view, or you are giving your own, keep in mind that an opinion is not divinely inspired, and therefore it may or may not be the truth. And for sure, if offered without gentleness, respect, humility, and grace, it is not loving. True love knows when to speak — and to speak with gentleness, respect, humility, and grace — and just as importantly, when not to speak. Here’s the deal: You have a right to your opinion, but you don’t have a duty to share every thought that pops into your head. So, go ahead and have an opinion, but stay alert to the arrogance that 1 Corinthians 13:4 is calling out if you want to incarnate Christ-hearted love.

Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4 (HCSV)

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited.

Check out these various Bible translations—each of them faithful to the original text—of the Apostle Paul’s rendering of the second clause of 1 Corinthians 13:4,

Love is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. (J. B. Phillips)

Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, and isn’t always ‘me first.’ (Message)

Love doesn’t flaunt itself. (Modern English Version)

Now I have not been around too many braggadocious, mouthy egomaniacs—thank God—because this verse indicates that those kinds of people, no matter how they try to spin it, are not loving. Not like Jesus, anyway, which is the only kind of love the Christ-follower ought to pursue.

Yet I have been around a fair amount of believers who live with the opinion that their opinion is the only opinion that matters. And they are more than happy to share it—even if it is uninvited. And they do so without the slightest bit of self-awareness they are not obligated to share it, or that others’ opinions are equally worthy of sharing as their own.

I would say those kinds of people—and I hope you are not one of them … and if I am, I hope you will have the freedom to let me know (lovingly, of course)—have a love problem. Their need to share their opinions drags their “love” down into the category of boastful, self-inflated, needing to be impressive, strutting, me first, and flaunting. Listen to how The Passion Translation renders verse 4:

Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. (TPT)

So, here’s the deal: you have a right to have opinions, but it’s not your duty to share them in an unfiltered way. George Eliot warns of “always making [others] a ‘present’ of your opinions.” The arrogance that fuels an uninvited and unhelpful (and often uninformed) view plows right through the flashing yellow lights of human relationships without pumping the brakes, leaving a trail of wreckage—usually in the name of “speaking the truth in love.” Because it is an opinion, it may or may not be the truth, but for sure, it is not loving.

True love knows when to speak—and to speak with gentleness, humility, and grace—and just as importantly, when not to speak. Go ahead and have an opinion but stay alert to arrogance if you want to incarnate Christ-hearted love.

Why does the Apostle Paul feel the need to point out that love is neither braggadocious nor prideful? Simply because love is selfless, it puts others first, and it edifies the object it loves. Boasting and pride reveal a self-focus that belies corrosive insecurity and a spirit of scarcity. The famed preacher W. Graham Scroggie wrote,

Boasting is always an advertisement of poverty.

Make sure that early and often, you willingly put the people in your life ahead of you!

SYNOPSIS: Jealousy — ubiquitous among humanity (a fancy way of saying we all struggle with it) — desires to possess what another has: their looks, their lovers, their likes on social media, their popularity, their possessions, their achievements, their accolades, you name it. However, our jealous feelings say more about us than those whose things we covet. In reality, jealousy simply disguises our own insecurities. Worse still, it becomes a tool of Satan, whose leading motivation is jealousy. But the Christ-follower is to be different. Scripture is very clear that “love is not jealous.” So, to combat the possessive love-killer called jealousy and send it packing, we must learn to risk all we have to give for the benefit of those of whom we are jealous. Today, get rid of jealousy by risking what you have to give: your un-jealous love!

Making Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…Love never fails.

Love–agape love, the love that emanates from God’s being—is not jealous. If you truly love a person, then in the passive sense, you will never be envious of who they are and what they have. In the active sense, you will not allow their successes or possessions or looks to lead you to feel insecure about yourself, then allow that feeling to metastasize into fear, bitterness, suspicion, humiliation, plotting, and rage.

Think of how much damage jealousy has unleashed throughout human history. Two classic examples are found in scripture—one in the Old Testament and the other in the New. In Genesis 37:10-12, we are told that Joseph’s brothers were jealous of their father’s favoritism toward Joseph, of the ornate coat he had given him, of Joseph’s dreams of superiority over his brothers. Because they didn’t have what Joseph had, they sold him into slavery. And even that was a far cry better than what they initially plotted to do—to murder him. Then in the New Testament, Matthew 27:16-20 informs us that the Jewish leaders handed Jesus over to Pilate to be crucified because they were jealous of him.

The poet John Milton said that envy is the devil’s own emotion. Oscar Wilde tells the story of the devil “crossing the Libyan Desert, [when] he came upon a spot where a number of small fiends were tormenting a holy hermit. The sainted man easily shook off their evil suggestions. The devil watched their failure and then he stepped forward to give them a lesson. ‘What you do is too crude,’ he said. ‘Permit me for one moment.’ With that he whispered to [the] holy man, ‘Your brother has just been made [the] Bishop of Alexandria.’ A scowl of malignant jealousy at once clouded the serene face of the hermit. ‘That,’ said the devil to his imps, ‘is the sort of thing … I [would] recommend.’” (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Memories and Adventures, 66)

So ubiquitous is the sin of jealousy in the human race that there was even an offering for it in the Old Testament (Numbers 5). Yet jealousy is arguably the hardest sin to recognize and admit to in ourselves. But it’s everywhere; it’s universal. And mark it down: unchecked jealousy eventually leads to relational tragedy.

James 3:16 says, “Where you have envy … there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

Jealousy leads us to do evil. It’s why Cain killed Abel. Abraham’s two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, were torn apart by jealous rivalry. Bitter envy separated Isaac’s two sons, Jacob and Esau. The jealousy of Jacob’s twelve sons rips the family apart. It’s why Saul tried to kill David.

It is throughout the Bible, from beginning to end. And it is still at work in the world today. It is destroying families, killing friendships, ruining community, shrinking hearts, wrecking lives—and it is at work in you and me. Nobody gets a pass on jealousy!

Jealousy desires to possess what another has – their love, success, things, popularity, social media likes, Instagram followers, you name it. But in truth, jealous thoughts and feelings are simply insecurities disguised. However, scripture bluntly tells us that we cannot be both loving and jealous. As Dorothy Sayers said of the mutual exclusivity of love and jealousy,

We can’t possess one another. We can only give and hazard all we have.

And that, my friends, is the way to deal with the problem of jealousy: get rid of it by risking what you have to give—your un-jealous love!

“ Envy slays itself by its own arrows. —GREEK PROVERB