SYNOPSIS: You cannot be loving and prideful at the same time. One destroys the other. You see, pride blinds us to the world around us—and to the world within us. It makes us think others are worse than they are and we are better than we are. And if that weren’t bad enough, it blinds us to God—to who He is, to what He is doing, and to what He wants from us. In reality, pride blinds us to our own pride, and that is what makes it so destructive. That is why the God of love hates pride. We should, too, especially our own pride.
Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)
Love is … not proud.
It is helpful to remember that Paul is describing love, both positively (it is patient, kind, truth-loving, determined, faithful, hopeful, and enduring) and negatively (it is not jealous, boastful, proud, rude, selfish, irritable, resentful, or unjust) in the context of Christian worship and service. While this can be applied to marriage, family, and friendships, the primary application is how those in the body of Christ are to relate to one another.
As Paul teaches elsewhere, Christ-followers are to, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Rom 12:10) Jesus said the preeminent quality that will draw the world’s attention to him will be the love his disciples display to each other: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)
That high call to love, wherever it is found in the New Testament writings, requires an attitude of humility, servanthood, and selflessness and is therefore impossible when human pride resides in the heart. How is that?
Pride blinds us to the world around us … and to the world within us. It makes us think others are worse than they are and we are better than we are. And if that weren’t bad enough, it blinds us to God—to who He is, to what He is doing, and to what He wants from us. In reality, pride blinds us to our own pride, and that is what makes it so destructive.
In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis noted, “A proud person is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”
Ultimately, our pride’s ability to blind will lead us to the opposite of love: a life of lovelessness, insensitivity, judgment attitudes, and even hatred, which is simply a life that doesn’t proactively demonstrate love. Lewis went on to say that at the end of the day, without proactive love, “we shall insist on seeing everything—God and our friends and ourselves included—as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred.”
Lewis then described the corrosive effects of human pride:
Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one’s first feeling, ‘Thank God, even they aren’t quite so bad as that,’ or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black.
That is how we begin to see others as bad and not be able to stop doing it. We become judgmental, critical, harsh, and superior. Sadly, that is how we become forever fixed in a universe where lovelessness rules our lives.
And that is why pride is the core of all sin, why it is so dangerous, and why the God of love hates it so viscerally and vociferously! Don’t believe me, consider the following verses
I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Prov 8:13)
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Prov 11:2)
The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished. (Prov 16:5)
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov 16:18)
What do those verses say about you and me and our propensity for pride? Again, simply this: you cannot exhibit God’s love if you tolerate pride in your life. One will destroy the other.
So at all costs, make sure love wins in your life!
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