SYNOPSIS: Are your opinions a conduit for arrogance? 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that true love, the kind of love that emanates from God, the kind of love that Christ-followers are to model, is never arrogant. That is, it never struts, never gets a big head, and it never powers up on another. So, how does that play out in the real world of your daily life? Well, I’d say more practically than you’d think. For example, take how you express your opinions. The arrogance that fuels an uninvited, unhelpful, and often uninformed view plows right through the flashing yellow lights of human relationships without pumping the brakes, leaving a trail of relational wreckage — usually in the name of “speaking the truth in love.” And in this age of social media, where there are no flashing lights warning us of dangerous relational curves ahead, isn’t there a lot of that? Whether you are on the receiving end of another’s view, or you are giving your own, keep in mind that an opinion is not divinely inspired, and therefore it may or may not be the truth. And for sure, if offered without gentleness, respect, humility, and grace, it is not loving. True love knows when to speak — and to speak with gentleness, respect, humility, and grace — and just as importantly, when not to speak. Here’s the deal: You have a right to your opinion, but you don’t have a duty to share every thought that pops into your head. So, go ahead and have an opinion, but stay alert to the arrogance that 1 Corinthians 13:4 is calling out if you want to incarnate Christ-hearted love.
Make Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4 (HCSV)
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited.
Check out these various Bible translations—each of them faithful to the original text—of the Apostle Paul’s rendering of the second clause of 1 Corinthians 13:4,
Love is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. (J. B. Phillips)
Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, and isn’t always ‘me first.’ (Message)
Love doesn’t flaunt itself. (Modern English Version)
Now I have not been around too many braggadocious, mouthy egomaniacs—thank God—because this verse indicates that those kinds of people, no matter how they try to spin it, are not loving. Not like Jesus, anyway, which is the only kind of love the Christ-follower ought to pursue.
Yet I have been around a fair amount of believers who live with the opinion that their opinion is the only opinion that matters. And they are more than happy to share it—even if it is uninvited. And they do so without the slightest bit of self-awareness they are not obligated to share it, or that others’ opinions are equally worthy of sharing as their own.
I would say those kinds of people—and I hope you are not one of them … and if I am, I hope you will have the freedom to let me know (lovingly, of course)—have a love problem. Their need to share their opinions drags their “love” down into the category of boastful, self-inflated, needing to be impressive, strutting, me first, and flaunting. Listen to how The Passion Translation renders verse 4:
Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. (TPT)
So, here’s the deal: you have a right to have opinions, but it’s not your duty to share them in an unfiltered way. George Eliot warns of “always making [others] a ‘present’ of your opinions.” The arrogance that fuels an uninvited and unhelpful (and often uninformed) view plows right through the flashing yellow lights of human relationships without pumping the brakes, leaving a trail of wreckage—usually in the name of “speaking the truth in love.” Because it is an opinion, it may or may not be the truth, but for sure, it is not loving.
True love knows when to speak—and to speak with gentleness, humility, and grace—and just as importantly, when not to speak. Go ahead and have an opinion but stay alert to arrogance if you want to incarnate Christ-hearted love.
Why does the Apostle Paul feel the need to point out that love is neither braggadocious nor prideful? Simply because love is selfless, it puts others first, and it edifies the object it loves. Boasting and pride reveal a self-focus that belies corrosive insecurity and a spirit of scarcity. The famed preacher W. Graham Scroggie wrote,
Boasting is always an advertisement of poverty.
Make sure that early and often, you willingly put the people in your life ahead of you!
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