Category Archives: 1 Samuel

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They Were Courageous—We’re Alive To Prove It

Honoring The Brave Who Defended Our Freedom

Synopsis: It is precisely out of the darkest of times when someone steps forward to attempt the heroic that the sacrificial bravery of the one lifts the hearts of the many. Courage! Every age, including this one, needs men and women of courage who will be sold out to certain convictions that drive them to act, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives, but because it is the right thing to do. That is courage, and in itself, it is victory. On this Memorial Day, we honor our brave men and women who paid the ultimate price to secure our freedom. #grateful

Giving Honor // 1 Samuel 11:11-13

But when the people of Jabesh-gilead heard what the Philistines had done to Saul, all their mighty warriors traveled through the night to Beth-shan and took the bodies of Saul and his sons down from the wall. They brought them to Jabesh, where they burned the bodies. Then they took their bones and buried them beneath the tamarisk tree at Jabesh, and they fasted for seven days.

Courage! Nelson Mandela, a man of remarkable courage himself, wrote, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Perhaps Mandela was describing the brave warriors of Jabesh-gilead.

We don’t know their names. We don’t know anything about them really. But the one thing we do know is what will cause them to admired as men for the ages: they were courageous. Risking all that they possessed —their homes, their families, their very lives—to invade the much larger and more powerful Philistine territory, they put their sacred honor on the line to honor God. They mustered the courage to rescue the abused bodies of King Saul and his sons, marching through the night straight into the enemy-occupied city of Beth-shan and through whatever resistance the Philistine guard may have mounted. Once they had retrieved them, they gave King Saul, Jonathan, and Saul’s other brothers a proper burial. Moreover, they secured a moral victory in an otherwise dark time for the nation of Israel.

There is not much to cheer in 1 Samuel 31, just this courageous act. Israel is at a low ebb, and the prospects for brighter days is exceedingly dim. There has been no coronation of David as Israel’s new king yet—in fact, that is several years off. Furthermore, at this point, as far as anyone might know, David has sided with the Philistines. This is a dark time indeed for God’s people. But that is what makes what the warriors of Jabesh-gilead did so much more spectacular. It is precisely out of the darkest of times when someone steps forward to attempt the heroic that the courage of one lifts the hearts of the many.

Courage! Every age, including this one, needs men and women of courage. I want to be one, how about you? But where does it come from? Like the men of Jabesh-Gilead, it arises from three intertwined sources:

Principle: They were sold out to certain convictions that drove them to act. N.D. Wilson wrote, “Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself.” It was the right thing to do, so they did it.

Compassion: They cared deeply for what had been done to the people of Israel; they cared out of deep loyalty the royal family, and they cared deeply about the reputation of God. As Lao Tzu said, “From caring comes courage.”

Indignation: They were mad. They were morally offended. They were righteously indignant. Their sense of godly pride had been challenged, and they had to respond. Much of the sacrifice to achieve a worthy cause comes from righteous indignation, and the men of Jabesh-gilead were that, fighting mad. Eric Hoffer rightly observed, “Anger is the prelude to courage.”

Courage! Marcus Tullius Cicero, the second-century Roman orator, said, “A man of courage is also full of faith.” To paraphrase Cicero, people of faith must be people of courage—unassailable principle, deep concern, and righteous indignation. That was true of those who died to preserve our freedom. May that be true of you and me, too!

Remembering: On this Memorial Day, remember the mighty who have fallen, those brave men and women who, in the face of fear, stepped forth to do what was right and paid the ultimate price for it. They were courageous, and we are alive to prove it!

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The Place of Testing – The Place for Trusting

God May Break You Down To Build You Up

Testing—the place in your life where every supporting prop gets kicked out from beneath you. It is where you end up when you thought you were going to do great things for God, or have a great family, or have a successful career, and it becomes clear that things are not working out the way you’d dreamed. It will likely be the most frustrating period in your life—but in hindsight, it will turn out to be the most fruitful. That’s because the place of testing and tearing down is also the place of forging and rebuilding. As an unknown poet said, it is the place where you are, “pressed into knowing no helper but God.” And there is no better place.

The Journey // Focus: 1 Samuel 21:10-15, 2:1

David escaped from Saul and went to King Achish of Gath. But the officers of Achish were unhappy about his being there. “Isn’t this David, the king of the land?” they asked. “Isn’t he the one the people honor with dances, singing, ‘Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands’?” David heard these comments and was very afraid of what King Achish of Gath might do to him. So he pretended to be insane, scratching on doors and drooling down his beard. Finally, King Achish said to his men, “Must you bring me a madman? We already have enough of them around here! Why should I let someone like this be my guest?” So David fled to the cave of Adullam.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) That is the fun part of being a Christ-follower.

Jesus also said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25) That is the not-so-fun part of being a Christ-follower. Yet ultimately, it is the most rewarding part of walking with Jesus.

Before the Son of David revealed those paradoxical views of life in his kingdom, David experienced a long, painful, even brutal season in the cross-bearing mode that Jesus described. God, in preparing David to one day lead Israel as king, was stripping him of every human dependency until David had no other reliance than God himself. You and I will have a season like that, too. And like David, that season will find Jesus breaking us down so he can build us up into the kind of people he desires us to be. Going through that process means he will strip us of every misplaced dependency.

You see, the good things in life can be a barrier to the great things that God has for us. So God removes them. Deuteronomy 8:3 goes on to say, “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from God’s mouth.”

In David’s case, it took ten years of tearing down as one-by-one, all of the good things he’d once relied on got stripped away. Over the course of several chapters in 1 Samuel, God stripped David’s of just about everything:

  • David lost his position. Overnight David went from Israel most popular figure to national pariah.
  • David lost his wife. He had married King Saul’s daughter, Michal, but when David fled, Saul married her off to another man.
  • David lost his mentor. About the time all of this upheaval took place, Samuel died. So David lost his job, his family, and now he loses his spiritual mentor—the one who’d anointed and prepared him to one day be Israel’s king.
  • David lost his best friend. If losing his job, wife, and mentor wasn’t enough, he lost Jonathan. He was the one who had stood up to his own father, King Saul, risking his life to protect David. He warned David to flee, but since Jonathan was bound by loyalty to his troubled father, he could no longer see David. So these spiritual soul-mates parted ways, never to see each other again in life.
  • David lost his country. At the end of 1 Samuel 21, David is so desperate, with nowhere to hide, that he flees to Gath, the capital city of Israel’s arch-enemy, the Philistines, and home to the now-dead Philistine hero, Goliath. That’s how bad it got — David’s now seeking refuge in Gath among Goliath’s people.
  • David lost his dignity. Finally, there in Gath, he reached the bottom: “When David realized that he had been recognized, he panicked, fearing the worst from King Achish.” (1 Samuel 21:13)

So right there, while the Philistine officers were looking at David, he pretended to go crazy, pounding his head on the city gate and foaming at the mouth, spit dripping from his beard. Achish took one look at him and said to his servants, “Can’t you see he’s crazy? Why’d you let him in here? Don’t you think I have enough crazy people to put up with as it is without adding another? Get him out of here!” (1 Samuel 21:14-15)

David, expecting to be king with a kingdom, ends up on the lamb with no position, no people, no pastor, no partner, no pride—and no prospect that it would ever be different—stripped of every dependency.

Testing—the place in your life where every supporting prop gets kicked right out from beneath you. It is where you end up when you thought you were going to do great things for God, or have a great family, or have a successful career, and it becomes clear that things are not working out the way you had dreamed.

For David, it was the most frustrating period in his life—but in hindsight, it turned out to be the most fruitful. That is because the place of testing and tearing down is also the place of forging and rebuilding. As an unknown poet said that it is the place where you are, “pressed into knowing no helper but God.”

Pressed into knowing no helper but God—that’s what happened to David. Through the discipline of that difficult season in his life, God was convincing David that God was his true source, and that was the one thing David would need to be a great king.

God is teaching you how to “king it” too! It is no fun at all, but it is the only way to become incredibly fruitful. And though we wouldn’t choose it for ourselves, thank God that he chooses to tear us down to build us up!

Going Deeper: Are you going through a season of stripping? This may be a good time to simply say “thank you” as an act of trust and faith.

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A Call to Agape-Driven Relationships in 2022

A Friendship That Enters The Soul

SYNOPSIS: “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” (Arnold Glasgow) That was Jonathan’s relationship with David, and it was arguably the most life-enriching friendship ever. Jonathan’s love bracketed and contained his father Saul’s evil, and entered David’s soul in a way Saul’s hatred never did. That’s the power of a Jonathan-like friend—and it’s the kind of friendship you are called to offer another in this era of Covid/Culture Wars/Political Strife where friendships are far too quickly and easily discarded like yesterday’s trash. If you are to offer another a Jonathan/David friendship—which is simply what the New Testament calls  “agape love” — you don’t ghost or cancel or vent outrage on a friend. You don’t demand that they believe like you, vote like you, or live their life to please you. Listen: a friend is born for relational adversity; a friend loves at all times (even when there is disagreement over mandates or candidates); for the sake of Christ, a friend doesn’t allow temporal earthly concerns to corrode the relationship; the love of a friend never, ever demands its own way. On this day, and from here on out, be a true friend!

Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 23:16-17

And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.”

Though Jonathan was King Saul’s son and heir to the throne, he stripped himself of every symbol of royalty to show favor and friendship to one who was his rival—David. Instead of jealousy, which would have been the natural response, he gave David strength. Instead of protecting his own interests, Jonathan promoted David’s welfare. Instead of siding with his father, he defended David, even risking his own life. Instead of minimizing the damage his father was trying to inflict upon David, Jonathan openly and honestly admitted the king’s wrong. Instead of abandoning David, Jonathan became a source of encouragement.

David was at the point of breaking. I’m sure he thought about giving up. If he had, he would have ceased to be Jonathan’s rival, and Jonathan knew that. Yet Jonathan went to him and strengthened him in the Lord anyway. Jonathan was content to be second fiddle if he could help advance David to first chair. Was that because Jonathon viewed himself as unworthy? Is there some self-loathing at play here? Not at all; he is simply responding to what he saw God doing in David’s life.

How rare does a friend put himself or herself in the background for the sake of another’s God-ordained advancement! Jonathan’s relationship with David was truly an altruistic friendship. It was not based on what he could get from his friend, but what he could give. That is truly a sacrificial friendship—and it is what God values, expects, and blesses.

This leads to a very important, and challenging application: Normally at this point, we would think about how we might acquire a Jonathan-type friend in our lives. Perhaps the more important thing would be to ask ourselves how we could be a Jonathan-like friend to someone in our relational sphere.

The truth is, if you want to have the kind friendship Jonathan offered David, you need to be that kind of friend. The best vitamin for that kind of loyal, life-giving friendship: B-1! Each of us desires someone like Jonathan in our lives—and it’s appropriate to pray that way.

More than that, each of us should pray that God will make us a Jonathan to some David. That is the kind of friendship you are called to offer another in this era of Covid/Culture Wars/Political Strife where friendships are far too quickly and easily discarded like yesterday’s trash. If you are to offer another a Jonathan/David friendship—which is simply what the New Testament calls  “agape love” — you don’t ghost or cancel or vent outrage on a friend. You don’t demand that they believe like you, vote like you, or live their life to please you. Listen: a friend is born for relational adversity; a friend loves at all times (even when there is disagreement over mandates or candidates); for the sake of Christ, a friend doesn’t allow temporal earthly concerns to corrode the relationship; the love of a friend never, ever demands its own way.

On this day, and from here on out, be a true friend!

Going Deeper With God: Someone has said that Jonathan’s friendship bracketed and contained Saul’s evil, and his friendship entered David’s soul in a way Saul’s hatred never did. That’s the power of a Jonathan-like friendship. To whom can you offer that level of friendship? Why not start today!

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Cave Time

Where God Does His Best Work

SYNOPSIS: Cave time—everyone gets it. The cave always reveals just how much work God still has to do to get you ready for great things. In the cave of Adullam, God revealed to David that his good looks, musical skill, and winsome personality weren’t enough for the kind of king Israel needed. Saul had that—looks, skill, charisma—but he didn’t have the kind of depth with God that the leader of God’s people needed. David needed more of God; the testing of the cave clearly revealed that. By the way, God does his best work in caves because it’s where he resurrects what is dead! That cave was where a dead Messiah became a Risen Savior…and your cave is where your dead dreams, or maybe your dead ministry, or perhaps your dead career, or even your dead marriage will take on resurrection life.

Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 22:1

David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there.

If you are like me, you want to live in the never-ending summer of God’s blessing—the sunshine of his grace—where you’ll flourish and enjoy a fruitful life. But to get from here to that land of spiritual fruitfulness, you will have to first endure some “cave-time”.

The cave is core curriculum in the school of spirituality. Call it whatever you want: the pit (Joseph’s “cave”), the desert (Moses’ “cave”), the prison (Paul’s “cave”), the wilderness (Jesus’ “cave”), the cave is to Christians what Camp Pendleton is to marines: Boot camp! It’s basic training for believers. Every believer gets cave-time!

The cave is the place of testing. It’s the blast furnace for moral fiber—where your mettle gets tested! Put a person in the cave of distress, discouragement, doubt, or delayed hopes and true character is revealed. The cave always reveals just how much work God still has to do to get you ready for great things. In the cave of Adullam, God revealed to David that his good looks, musical skill, and winsome personality weren’t enough for the kind of king Israel needed. Saul had that—looks, skill, charisma—but he didn’t have the kind of depth with God that the leader of God’s people needed. David needed more of God; the testing of the cave clearly revealed that.

The cave is also a place of learning. David recognized that he needed “cave time” so he could “learn what God will do for me.” (I Samuel 22:3) In the cave, David learned what it meant to fully depend on God because God stripped him of all his misplaced dependencies: his position (David went from fair-haired boy to fugitive overnight), his friends (David was separated from his best friend, Jonathon), his spiritual mentor (Samuel died while David was in the cave) and even his dignity (he actually had to feign insanity to escape the Philistines). These were all good things in David’s life, yet God knew that they were a barrier to the great things he had in store for David. So God removed them.

The cave was perhaps the most frustrating period in David’s life—but in hindsight, it turned out to be the most fruitful. That’s because the cave is also the place of forging. As an unknown poet said, the cave is where you are, “pressed into knowing no helper but God.” And that’s exactly what happened to David in the cave of Adullam. Through the discipline of that place, David came into a profound experience with God, and that is the one thing David would need to be a great king.

That’s what God does in the cave. And by the way, God does some of his best work when we are experiencing “cave time”. It was there in the cave of Adullam that David wrote three of his most moving psalms—Psalms 34, 57 & 142.

Psalm 142 shows us that David learned to talk openly and honestly with God—and that God could handle David’s raw emotion. David got brutally honest with God in the cave, and it was great therapy: “I cry aloud to the Lord…I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble.” (Psalm 142:1-2)

Psalm 52 shows us that David learned to toughen up in the cave because God was training him how to “king it!” That’s why David said of his “cave time” experience, “I cry out to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.” (Psalm 57:2)

Finally, Psalm 34 shows us that David learned to look for God in the cave. It was there David found that God was his all-in-all, and out of experience he penned Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

So here’s the deal: If you are in a cave right now, I want to remind you of some good news: You are not alone—God is with you. And furthermore, God understands all about caves. He’s been there! You see, the son of David, Jesus, was stripped of everything, too. He lost his position as a spiritual leader. His own family criticized him. His friends ran away. He lost the adoration of the cheering crowds. He suffered the mockery of a trial and the humiliation of a cross. And when he died, they buried his lifeless body in a cave, and it looked like it was over!

But God does his best work in caves because it’s where he resurrects dead stuff! That cave was where a dead Messiah became a Risen Savior…and your cave is where your dead dreams, or maybe your dead ministry, or perhaps your dead career, or even your dead marriage will take on resurrection life.

Your cave may be very deep and dark and devastating, but here’s the thing you need to know: God works in caves! So stay patient, pliable, and trusting—your resurrection is coming!

Going Deeper With God: What a great reminder, that, as Spurgeon said, “Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.” Perhaps it would be a good idea right now to thank God in advance for the grandeur that he is forging from your “cave time”!

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Breaking You Down To Build You Up

There is No Testimony Without A Test

SYNOPSIS: The place of testing is where every supporting prop in your life gets removed. It’s where you end up when you thought you were going to do big things for God, or have a great family, or have a successful career, and it becomes clear that things are not working out the way you’d dreamed. It will likely be the most frustrating period in your life—but in hindsight, it will turn out to be the most fruitful. That’s because the place of testing and removing is also the place of forging and rebuilding. As an unknown poet said, it is the place where you are, “pressed into knowing no helper but God.” And there is no better place. So, with that in mind, if you’re going through a place of testing, it may be a good time to simply say “thank you, God” as an act of trust and faith.

Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 21:10-14

David escaped from Saul and went to King Achish of Gath. But the officers of Achish were unhappy about his being there. “Isn’t this David, the king of the land?” they asked. “Isn’t he the one the people honor with dances, singing, ‘Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands’?” David heard these comments and was very afraid of what King Achish of Gath might do to him. So he pretended to be insane, scratching on doors and drooling down his beard. Finally, King Achish said to his men, “Must you bring me a madman? We already have enough of them around here! Why should I let someone like this be my guest?”

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) That is the fun part of being a Christ-follower.

Jesus also said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25) That is the not-so-fun part of being a Christ-follower. But it is the imminently rewarding part of walking with Jesus.

Before the Son of David spoke those paradoxical words, David went thru the process that Jesus described. You and I will, too. Like David, we must allow Jesus to break us down so he can build us up, that is, to build us into the kind of people he desires us to be. Going through that process means he will strip us of every misplaced dependency.

You see, the good things in life can be a barrier to the great things God has for us. So God removes them. Deuteronomy 8:3 goes on to say, “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from God’s mouth.”

In David’s case, it took ten years of tearing down as one-by-one all of the good things he’d once relied on got stripped away. Over the course of several chapters in 1 Samuel, God stripped David’s of just about everything:

  • David lost his position. Overnight David went from Israel’s most popular figure to national pariah.
  • David lost his wife. He had married King Saul’s daughter, Michal, but when David fled, Saul married her off to another man.
  • David lost his mentor. About the time all this upheaval took place, Samuel died. So David lost his job, his family, and now he loses his spiritual mentor—the one who’d anointed him and guided him.
  • David lost his best friend.  If losing his job, wife, and mentor wasn’t enough, he lost Jonathan. He was the one who had stood up to his own father, King Saul, risking his life to protect David. He warned David to flee, but since Jonathan was bound by loyalty to his troubled father, he could no longer see David. So these spiritual soul-mates parted ways, never to see each other again in life.
  • David lost his country. At the end of I Samuel 21 David’s so desperate, with nowhere to hide, that he flees to Gath, the capital city of Israel’s arch-enemy, the Philistines, and home to the now-dead Goliath. That’s how bad it got — David’s now seeking refuge in Gath among Goliath’s people.
  • David lost his dignity. Finally, there in Gath, he reached rock bottom: “When David realized that he had been recognized, he panicked, fearing the worst from King Achish. (1 Samuel 21:13)

While the Philistine officers were looking at David, he pretended to go crazy, pounding his head on the city gate and foaming at the mouth, spit dripping from his beard. Achish took one look at him and said to his servants, “Can’t you see he’s crazy? Why’d you let him in here? Don’t you think I have enough crazy people to put up with as it is without adding another? Get him out of here!” (1 Samuel 21:14-15)

So David, expecting to be king with a kingdom ends up on the lam with no position, no people, no pastor, no partner, no pride—and no prospect that it would ever be different—stripped of every dependency.

Testing—the place in your life where every supporting prop gets kicked out from beneath you. It is where you end up when you thought you were going to do great things for God, or have a great family, or have a successful career, and it becomes clear that things are not working out the way you’d dreamed.

For David, it was the most frustrating period in his life—but in hindsight, it turned out to be the most fruitful. That is because the place of testing and tearing down is also the place of forging and rebuilding. As an unknown poet said, it is the place where you are, “pressed into knowing no helper but God.”

Pressed into knowing no helper but God—that’s what happened to David. Through the discipline of that difficult season in his life, God was instructing David that God was his true source, and that was the one thing David would need to be a great king.

Guess what: God is teaching you how to “king it” too! Not very fun…but it is incredibly fruitful. And though we wouldn’t choose it for ourselves, thank God he tears us down to build us up!

Going Deeper With God: Are you going through a season of stripping? This may be a good time to simply say “thank you” as an act of trust and faith.

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Calling Out God’s Creative Design In Another

Look To See God In Another

SYNOPSIS: The deepest and best relationships—be it marriage or friendship—rest upon something of God we see in another. When we see the beauty of Christ or the purity of the Spirit or the implanted potential of the Creator, and we’re drawn to that over physical attraction or the career they hold or their popular appeal, we have found the basis of that which God desires a relationship to be built. The greatest thing any person can do for another is to confirm the deepest thing in him or her; to take the time and have the interest and exercise the discernment to see what of God is there, then affirm it and encourage it.

Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 20:16-17

So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord call David’s enemies to account.” And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

Jonathan and David—what a friendship. In 2 Samuel 1, we read of David’s lament when the news was brought to him of the deaths of King Saul and Prince Jonathan. As David’s heart overflowed with grief for the loss of his dear friend, he poured forth some of the most moving and beautiful words ever written about a friend,

Saul and Jonathan — in life they were loved and gracious, and in death they were not parted. They were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. O daughters of Israel, weep for Saul, who clothed you in scarlet and finery, who adorned your garments with ornaments of gold. How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights. I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. How the mighty have fallen! (2 Samuel 1:23-27)

Interestingly, the unlikely friendship that developed between David and Jonathan was a bright spot in what was mostly the dark context of Jonathan’s father, King Saul’s hatred for David. Yet how true that is of significant friendships: they are born, tested, and strengthened in the crucible of difficulty. As someone has rightly said, “Prosperity begets friends, adversity proves them.”

When the rest of the world abandoned David, Jonathan stood by him. Jonathan’s friendship entered David’s soul in a way Saul’s hatred never did. Writer Chuck Swindoll says they became “kindred spirits.” They were soul-mates of a different kind, to paraphrase Aristotle, “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

One of the bright moments in David’s rise to power was the strengthening hand of his friend, Jonathan, the rightful heir to the throne that David would occupy in Jonathan’s stead. So close was this friendship that David said it surpassed the love a man might have for a woman, or as the Contemporary English Version reads, “You were truly loyal to me, more faithful than a wife to her husband.” The Message captures it this way: “Your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything I’ve known—or ever hope to know.” (2 Samuel 1:26)

As King Saul was declining, and trying to take David down with him, it was Jonathan who was largely responsible for sustaining and strengthening David to stay faithful and hopeful in the Lord. Jonathan’s friendship bracketed and contained Saul’s evil. The friendship Jonathan offered to David was truly redemptive—a relationship that truly was spiritual at the core. The foundation and the formation of this friendship were centered on their shared devotion to God.

I Samuel 18:1-4 says, “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow, and his belt.”

In the purest sense, this was love at first sight. The moment Jonathan saw David go out to battle, his heart went out to him in great affection and devotion. He loved David for what he saw of God in him: Courage to face a giant, trust that God would go with him, loyalty to the king that led him to risk certain death, and such devotion to God’s people that he’d put his life on the line to achieve victory for Israel. These character qualities that Jonathan saw in David drew from him deep admiration and covenantal love. And it was their covenant, by the way, not their circumstances, that drove their relationship.

That is God’s plan for human souls—to be knit like that together. Adam and Eve came into the world like that, knit together in a oneness which God had given them—they were kindred spirits. But sin, the thing that separates the human heart from its Creator, also divides human hearts from one another. And the sad result of original sin has been with us ever since. Rather than living in the unity of community, we drift toward the shores of isolation and loneliness.

Yet every human heart cries out that it might be knit to another as Jonathan was knit to David, as Adam was knit to Eve. And every authentic friendship, every intimate marriage, every Godly courtship, every soul–mate relationship is a re-establishment of the sacred union of God’s original intent for human beings.

The deepest and best relationships—be it marriage or friendship—rest upon something of God we see in another. When we see the beauty of Christ or the purity of the Spirit or the implanted potential of the Creator, and we’re drawn to that over physical attraction or the career they hold or their popular appeal, we have found the basis of that which God desires a relationship to be built. The greatest thing any person can do for another is to confirm the deepest thing in him or her; to take the time and have the interest and exercise the discernment to see what of God is there, then affirm it and encourage it.

That’s what David and Jonathan had—a friendship that was fundamentally spiritual!

I believe that rather than focusing on having these kinds of Jonathan-like friends, we’d see better results if we’d focus on being a Jonathan-like friend. Each of us desires someone like Jonathan in our lives—and it’s certainly appropriate to pray that way. But each of us should pray that God will make us a Jonathan to a David.

What sort of friend are you? If you were somebody else, would you want you as a friend? Is your love for people unconditional and selfless and steadfast? If you want to have those kinds of friends, show yourself to be that kind of friend.

The best vitamin for redemptive friendships: B-1!

Going Deeper With God: Ask God to give you Jonathan-like qualities of a redemptive friend. Then, to the best of your ability, B-1.
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Spear Throwers

Learn a Lesson From David on Artful Dodging

SYNOPSIS: One of the common experiences we all share in life is dealing with chronically angry people. Sometimes, those angry people can become a danger to us—emotionally and even physically. They become spear throwers, like King Saul was to David. Preserving your health and well-being with a spear thrower takes wisdom and skill, and God has provided the example for both in David. Learn from him—you’re going to need it.

Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 19:9-10

One day when Saul was sitting at home, with spear in hand, the tormenting spirit from the Lord suddenly came upon him again. As David played his harp, Saul hurled his spear at David. But David dodged out of the way, and leaving the spear stuck in the wall, he fled and escaped into the night.

King Saul became a spear thrower—and David was his favorite target. The king had become increasingly paranoid about David, and uncontrollably angry. His downward spiral into emotional illness is well documented in the previous chapters of 1 Samuel, and it’s a sad story—a cautionary tale of the potential devastation of unconfessed sin.

For David, it wasn’t a cautionary tale; it was a living hell. The king’s uncontrollable anger didn’t come in the form of verbal abuse; it was physical. On several occasions, Saul tried to kill his loyal associate, literally attempting to pin him to the wall with his spear as David played the harp to soothe the king’s manic-depressive mood swings. In order to preserve his own health and well-being, David had to quickly deal with Saul—which he did. And the wise approach he took is incredibly instructive for us today as we deal with spear throwers in our own lives. We can find several things David did to survive his spear-throwing boss:

  1. First, David established rules. He knew Saul’s destructive capabilities, so wisely set boundaries to limit the damage. 1 Samuel 19:10 says, “While David was playing the harp, Saul tried to pin him to the wall with his spear, but David eluded him as Saul drove the spear into the wall. That night David made good his escape.” David didn’t continue to give Saul the opportunity to nail him to the wall. Being a peacemaker doesn’t mean being a whipping boy. If another’s anger is endangering you physically or emotionally, you have to draw the line. You will probably need to get some advice from your pastor or a professional counselor on this if your spear thrower is extreme, but do it nonetheless.
  2. Second, David exhibited respect. A few chapters later in 1 Samuel 24, David had escaped Saul, and he and his men hid from the king in a cave. As Saul was hunting David, he happened into the very same cave—to relieve himself—unaware that David was hiding in the shadows, watching every move. David had a chance to kill him, but instead, he quietly came up behind Saul and cut off the edge of his robe. “Then, as Saul was leaving, David shouted, ‘My lord the king!’ As Saul looked back, David had prostrated himself with his face to the ground.” (1 Samuel 24:8) He never spoke disrespectfully to or about Saul. And therein is an important lesson for us: another’s anger rarely, if ever, justifies yours.
  3. Third, David eliminated retaliation. He refused to seek revenge on the king, even though Saul deserved it, and even while David’s men were urging him to do it: “This day you’ve seen how the Lord delivered you into my hands. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay a hand on my master since he’s God’s anointed.’” (1 Samuel 24:10) David had plenty of justification to retaliate: the circumstances were right, his men were encouraging him, the Lord had already anointed him to replace Saul. But he refused to do what only God can do: To pass judgment on another person!
  4. Fourth, David expected redemption. He entrusted himself to God: “May the Lord be our judge and decide between us. May he consider my cause and uphold it; may he vindicate me by delivering me from your hand.” (1 Samuel 24:15) David drew boundaries, but he never lacked respect, nor retaliated, because he knew that if he entrusted himself to God, he would be okay—especially with God. Proverbs 16:7 says, “When people’s ways please the Lord, He makes even their enemies to be at peace with them.” That is a promise you and I can lean into, especially if you have a spear thrower in your life.

Today, when someone throws a barb your way, or worse, remember the wonderful model that God has provided for you in David for dealing with that person. When you deal with the spear thrower in a God honoring way, it may just very well be the thing that releases God’s peace in that relationship.

At the very least, and most importantly, your ways will please the Lord.

Going Deeper With God: Pick up a copy of Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life and read it sometime in the next month or two.