SYNOPSIS: “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” (Arnold Glasgow) That was Jonathan’s relationship with David, and it was arguably the most life-enriching friendship ever. Jonathan’s love bracketed and contained his father Saul’s evil, and entered David’s soul in a way Saul’s hatred never did. That’s the power of a Jonathan-like friend—and it’s the kind of friendship you are called to offer another in this era of Covid/Culture Wars/Political Strife where friendships are far too quickly and easily discarded like yesterday’s trash. If you are to offer another a Jonathan/David friendship—which is simply what the New Testament calls “agape love” — you don’t ghost or cancel or vent outrage on a friend. You don’t demand that they believe like you, vote like you, or live their life to please you. Listen: a friend is born for relational adversity; a friend loves at all times (even when there is disagreement over mandates or candidates); for the sake of Christ, a friend doesn’t allow temporal earthly concerns to corrode the relationship; the love of a friend never, ever demands its own way. On this day, and from here on out, be a true friend!
Going Deep // Focus: 1 Samuel 23:16-17
And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.”
Though Jonathan was King Saul’s son and heir to the throne, he stripped himself of every symbol of royalty to show favor and friendship to one who was his rival—David. Instead of jealousy, which would have been the natural response, he gave David strength. Instead of protecting his own interests, Jonathan promoted David’s welfare. Instead of siding with his father, he defended David, even risking his own life. Instead of minimizing the damage his father was trying to inflict upon David, Jonathan openly and honestly admitted the king’s wrong. Instead of abandoning David, Jonathan became a source of encouragement.
David was at the point of breaking. I’m sure he thought about giving up. If he had, he would have ceased to be Jonathan’s rival, and Jonathan knew that. Yet Jonathan went to him and strengthened him in the Lord anyway. Jonathan was content to be second fiddle if he could help advance David to first chair. Was that because Jonathon viewed himself as unworthy? Is there some self-loathing at play here? Not at all; he is simply responding to what he saw God doing in David’s life.
How rare does a friend put himself or herself in the background for the sake of another’s God-ordained advancement! Jonathan’s relationship with David was truly an altruistic friendship. It was not based on what he could get from his friend, but what he could give. That is truly a sacrificial friendship—and it is what God values, expects, and blesses.
This leads to a very important, and challenging application: Normally at this point, we would think about how we might acquire a Jonathan-type friend in our lives. Perhaps the more important thing would be to ask ourselves how we could be a Jonathan-like friend to someone in our relational sphere.
The truth is, if you want to have the kind friendship Jonathan offered David, you need to be that kind of friend. The best vitamin for that kind of loyal, life-giving friendship: B-1! Each of us desires someone like Jonathan in our lives—and it’s appropriate to pray that way.
More than that, each of us should pray that God will make us a Jonathan to some David. That is the kind of friendship you are called to offer another in this era of Covid/Culture Wars/Political Strife where friendships are far too quickly and easily discarded like yesterday’s trash. If you are to offer another a Jonathan/David friendship—which is simply what the New Testament calls “agape love” — you don’t ghost or cancel or vent outrage on a friend. You don’t demand that they believe like you, vote like you, or live their life to please you. Listen: a friend is born for relational adversity; a friend loves at all times (even when there is disagreement over mandates or candidates); for the sake of Christ, a friend doesn’t allow temporal earthly concerns to corrode the relationship; the love of a friend never, ever demands its own way.
On this day, and from here on out, be a true friend!
Arnold Glasgow wrote, “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” – Love this quote and believe it can be applied to leadership as well… My version would be – A true leader never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down…