The Antidote to Anger

PREVIEW: Everyone gets angry. You, me, everyone. So, since God expects us to control the emotion of anger when it arises and use it for good, how can we become skilled at managing this common yet potentially destruct response? Well, the strongest antidote to uncontrolled, destructive anger is your ability to be rational because destructive anger is stupid. King David’s answer for anger that doesn’t lead to sin was, “When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” That is, rather than venting, be still, be silent, count to ten, and allow your brain the opportunity to do what it does best — to think! In other words, count the cost to the people you will damage, to the damage it will cause to God’s kingdom, and the damage it will cause to your relationship with God.

A Journey of Worship // Psalm 4:4

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

You and I have a lot in common. Really! Not only are we incredibly intelligent, unbelievably likable, and unusually humble, we have a very large capacity for anger.

Have you experienced that capacity for anger lately? Have you found yourself snarling at those TV “talking heads” when they pushed your political hot button this week? Have you experienced any mental road rage lately? Did you wake up grumpy this morning and snap at the kids or come home tired and verbally abuse your dog? No? Perhaps you are the one person on Planet Earth that had an anger-free week, and you really don’t need to read this blog.

The truth is that we all experience anger. Anger is a God-given capacity that is common to humanity. In fact, you don’t have to read very far into the Bible to realize that God gets angry. Jesus got angry, too, and ran some moneychangers out of the temple. The Apostle Paul taught that it was possible to “Be angry and not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26)

So, anger is not the problem. It’s when we mishandle anger—that’s the problem. Uncontrolled and unredeemed anger leads to unhealthy families, fractured relationships, lost jobs, damaged reputations, and worse. And the Bible is very clear that we had better learn to control and channel that anger appropriately or not only will we cause some irreparable damage in the here and now, but in the “there and then,” we will have to stand before a righteous God to give account for our unrighteous anger.

Jesus said, “I tell you anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” (Matthew 5:22)

James said, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1:20)

The Apostle Paul warned, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” (Eph 4:31)

So, obviously, anger can be a real problem, both before God and in human relationships.

Given that it is a potentially destructive emotion, here in this psalm, King David described what is arguably the most effective way to manage our anger. And what he is recommending is — get this — to practice the rare art of “thinking” when emotions begin to give rise to anger. Seriously, the best antidote to inappropriate anger is to simply think it through … to bring that emotional response of anger, which can obviously be quite unintelligent, into the realm of intelligent thought.

The strongest antidote to uncontrolled, destructive anger is your ability to be rational because destructive anger is stupid. That’s why David’s answer for anger that doesn’t lead to sin was, “When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” That is, rather than venting, be still, be silent, count to ten, and allow your brain the opportunity to do what it does best — to think!

What is it, then, that you are supposed to think about when you are angry?

First, think about your anger’s potential destructiveness to the people you care about, and to yourself. As Proverbs 29:11 says, only “a fool gives full vent to his anger.”

Second, think about how Satan wants to use your anger to manipulate you for his purposes. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Just remember, every time you give vent to anger, you are opening the vent to Satanic vapors.

And third, think about the person you are angry with. And whatever else you do, remember that this person is someone who matters very much to your Heavenly Father. They are someone so loved by God that he sent his Son to die for their sins. They are someone that he has great plans for throughout eternity. So, think about that before you let any angry words fly — and remember that to damage them is to do damage to God.

Since thinking is the greatest antidote to anger, think for a while about what Proverbs 19:11 says: “A person’s wisdom gives them patience; it is a glory to overlook an offense.”

And don’t forget what David said, “In your anger, do not sin!”