Suffer Fools

“Don’t expect eloquence from fools.” (Proverbs 17:7)

Food For Thought: I ran into a fool last night. I have known him for several years and have only interacted with him perhaps four or five times—each time very briefly. And on each occasion, I have walked away from our exchange thinking, “that guy’s a fool.” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that once again he was true to form. He was obnoxious, ill-mannered, misinformed, and insulting.

Before I go into any more detail about my “foolish friend,” I hate to admit, but I have to—he was staring back into the eyes of a fool. You see, I didn’t handle him very well. He annoyed me—and I showed it. So here’s what King Solomon, the writer of this proverb, has to say about guys like me:

“A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” (Proverbs 12:16)

This guy’s words should have rolled off like water on a duck’s back, but I absorbed them and responded poorly. I felt I had to respond, to correct his messed-up thinking and counteract his insults. I should have been wise enough to know that trying to straighten out someone who falls into the category Solomon is describing is usually a waste of energy.

We live in an age where we are taught to stand up for our rights, defend ourselves, respond tit for tat, let no insult go unchallenged. It’s a sure sign of weakness to let someone get away with any kind of personal offense.

But is it weakness, or wisdom, to overlook an insult? King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived outside of Jesus Christ, wrote “Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.” (The Message) As king over Israel, Solomon most likely interacted with fools day in and day out. And he knew the temptation to fly off the handle when angered by the fool.

But he also understood that the way we respond to the fool indicates something about our character as well. If we react immediately with anger, counter-insults or some form of retaliation, we might as well hang a sign around our neck that reads, “I’m a fool.”

If our response is one of control, however, Solomon calls us prudent. A prudent person is one who shows discretion, whose words are measured, who has tremendous foresight, and uses careful judgment. And Solomon says that the person who responds with patience and doesn’t react with anger is well on their way to becoming wise

Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”

Proverbs 29:11 reminds us, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Proverbs 20:3 points out, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”

In his autobiography, Number 1, former baseball great Billy Martin told about hunting in Texas with Mickey Mantle. Mickey had a friend who would let them hunt on his ranch. When they reached the ranch, Mickey told Billy to wait in the car while he checked in with his friend.

Mantle’s friend quickly gave them permission to hunt, but he asked Mickey a favor. He had a pet mule in the barn who was going blind, and he didn’t have the heart to put him out of his misery. He asked Mickey to shoot the mule for him. When Mickey came back to the car, he pretended to be angry. He scowled and slammed the door. Billy asked him what was wrong, and Mickey said his friend wouldn’t let them hunt. “I’m so mad at that guy I’m going out to his barn and shoot one of his mules”

Mantle drove like a maniac to the barn while Martin protested, “We can’t do that!” Mickey was adamant, “Just watch me.” When they got to the barn, Mantle jumped out of the car with his rifle, ran inside, and shot the mule. Then Mantle heard two shots outside, so he ran back out of the barn to the car.

Martin had taken out his rifle, too. “What are you doing, Martin?” he yelled. Martin yelled back, face red with anger, “We’ll show that son of a gun! I just killed two of his cows!”

Now there’s a guy who definitely showed his annoyance. What about you? If it is your habit to react and retaliate to a slight or an irritation, here are some steps you can take to gain control and begin to operate as a person of prudence in this area:

The first step is to take responsibility for your reaction. If you are ever going to control your temper and process the anger in a way that pleases God, you got to come to a once and for all understanding that you have a choice in how you respond. You are response–able.

Genesis 4:6-7 says, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

The next step is to bring your anger out of the realm of the emotional and into the realm of the intelligent. In other words, you need to think your anger through. The biggest enemy to uncontrolled, destructive anger is your ability to be rational, because destructive anger is stupid.

Psalm 4:4 says, “In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” So what are you supposed to think about when you are angry?

• Think about your capacity to be destructive to others and yourself.

• Think about how Satan wants to use your anger to manipulate you for his purposes. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

• Think about the person you are angry with and remember, they, too, matter very much to your Heavenly Father.

• Think about why you are angry. Perhaps an angry response toward others is really the result of your own frustrations and disappointments.

The next step is to realize that most of what you get angry over just doesn’t matter. So evaluate it by asking yourself, is this really worth getting steamed up over. Robert Eliot, professor at the University of Nebraska said, “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it is all small stuff.”

The final step in the process is to determine to use your God given capacity for anger for positive growth in your life and in your world.

Genesis 50:19-20 says, “Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me but God intended it for good to accomplish [His purposes].” God can take any and every situation that tempts you to react in anger and turn it for your good and his glory.

So if you run into a fool today, don’t you become one! Don’t get annoyed…and please, don’t shoot any mules.  And remember, even fools are God’s tools to help you grow in wisdom.

Prayer: Dear God, you are the Sovereign Lord of my life. You control the universe around me, so that nothing can happen that you don’t allow and you won’t use for my good and your glory. Help me to fully trust your oversight of my life even to the point where I can suffer fools. Help me to look at every situation that would normally produce an angry response as an opportunity for me to exercise godly control. Lord, today, let me glorify you in all that I think, say and do.

Great Cloud of Witnesses: On this day in 1950, missionary martyr Jim Elliot wrote in his journal, “A man without Christ has his roots only in his own times, and his fruits as well.”