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Running Your Mouth

Read: Proverbs 10

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19)

Edward H. Richards penned a profound little poem, and we would do well to embrace the simple truth it conveys more often than in reality we do:

The wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard:
Why can’t we all be like that bird?

Yeah, why can’t we be like that bird?  Why is it that we, the human species, seem to excel at running our mouths?  It’s a curious thing that our Creator gave us two ears and only one mouth, yet we seem to speak twice as much as we listen.  Truly, we would be much better off if we learned to be like that old bird!

I know I would.  I make my living by speaking, but I’ve found that the more I listen and the less I speak, the more effective I am.  When I run into difficulties in life, what I’ve found is that it’s not what I haven’t said that’s gotten me into trouble, it’s what I’ve said.  Why can’t I be like that bird?

There’s an African proverb that says, “Much silence makes a powerful noise.”  That’s really true, isn’t it!  So here’s an idea: Why don’t you and I go on a word fast.  I’m not talking, no pun intended, about going stark raving silent.  I’m just suggesting less words and more listening—to others, to your own heart, and especially to God.

Alice Gray tells a great story about a Native American who was walking in New York City with a friend. Suddenly he said, “I hear a cricket.”  His friend just kind of looked at him and said, “You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m sure I hear a cricket,” the Native American said. The friend replied, “Man, it’s noon… people everywhere, cars honking, taxis squealing, there’s no way you can hear a cricket in all this noise!”

The guy leaned toward the sound and said, “But I do.”  So he walked to the corner across the street, and looked.  Finally he found a shrub in a cement planter.  He dug into the planter and found the cricket. His friend was astounded, so the Native American said, “My ears are no different from yours. It just depends on what you are listening to.  I’ll show you.” So he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change—a few quarters and dimes—and he dropped the coins on the concrete.  As every head within a block turned, he said, “You see what I mean?  It all depends on what your focus is.” 

Quiet down!  Zip it!  Put your tongue in neutral and quit running your mouth for a spell—and watch what happens. Learn to make that your practice and you’ll be at home among the wise!

“Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.” ~Robert Greenleaf

Winning At Life:

Today, intentionally listen twice as much as you speak, and see what happens—both in you, as well as the people you are around.  Just try it!  All of you may like it!

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Who Asked You?

Read: Proverbs 9

“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.” (Proverbs 9:7-8)

Some people in this world have an irresistible urge to give unsolicited advice.  Sometimes the advice is good and helpful to the person on the receiving end of it, but usually it falls into the it’s-none-of-you-business category.  If you are one of those who just can’t seem to keep your opinion to yourself, Solomon has some great advice here in Proverbs 9,

“If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face; confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins. So don’t waste your time on a scoffer; all you’ll get for your pains is abuse. But if you correct those who care about life, that’s different—they’ll love you for it! Save your breath for the wise—they’ll be wiser for it; tell good people what you know—they’ll profit from it.” (Proverbs 9:7-9, The Message)

In other words, when it comes to dispensing advice, proceed with caution. Don’t rush to counsel or admonish people when you haven’t been invited into their lives. The truth is, there are some people who are neither ready to receive your input nor willing to follow your suggestions.  Your recommendations and challenges to them, even though well intentioned, will fall on deaf ears, or worse, be seen as intrusive.

The counsel my father often gave to me paralleled Solomon’s, “Son, don’t go sticking your nose into others people’s business.”  That turned out to be pretty good advice.  When I’ve heeded that bit of wisdom, I’ve never regretted it.  When I’ve ignored it and pushed my way into business that was not my own, I’ve regretted it as a foolish and unnecessarily painful act.

So what is Solomon proposing—that we just sit back and let people mess up their lives without saying a word? Doesn’t love demand that we sometimes confront, even when we know it won’t be well received?  What is God’s wisdom for us in this matter?

The Bible does teach us that we need to be ready to speak truth into the lives of people God has caused to cross our paths. We have been called to encourage, exhort, challenge, admonish, rebuke, instruct and hold people accountable for their actions.  That is the assignment we are sometimes given, and if we want to have the best shot at speaking difficult truth to those who need to hear what we have to say, consider the following checklist for difficult conversations:

  • Know your target
  • Be careful with your timing
  • Pay attention to your limits
  • Check your own motives
  • Speak out of authentic love

If any one of those indicator lights is blinking red, pull up!  If it’s all systems go, then bring that difficult conversation in for—hopefully—a smooth landing.  One more thing:  Good luck!

“The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.”  ~Hannah Whitall Smith

Winning At Life:

Think back to a time when someone spoke a difficult and necessary word into your life. Take a moment to write them a note of thanks—it was probably pretty hard on them, too.

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A Compelling ROI

Read: Proverbs 8

“My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary; the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.”  (Proverbs 8:19, MSG)

A friend of mine used to quip, “They say that money isn’t everything—but I’d sure like to prove them wrong!”  Of course, most of us who live with an eternal perspective would agree with that money-isn’t-everything bromide, but my guess is most of us are secretly like my friend: We would sure like our shot at proving the theory wrong!

Solomon is simply refreshing us with truth we already embrace but periodically need reminded of to pull us back out of the gravitational lure of money and all the temporal stuff it provides.  Let’s not forget what the Bible says: The love of money is the root of all sorts of evil. (I Timothy 1:6)  Likewise, Jesus himself warned us that we cannot love and serve both God and money at the same time. (Matthew 6:24)  Frankly, as much as we’d like to dispel Jesus’ platitude, it is impossible!

Rather than money, Solomon implores us to seek after wisdom.  It is far better, buys much more, lasts infinitely longer than anything money affords and provides the best return on investment you will ever see in this life.  Frankly, five minutes after your death, your money, power and fame will not even be worth the paper they were recorded on.  In fact, it could be that your misuse of money, possessions and fame will put your account in the deficit when you reach eternity.  Wisdom on the other hand, is an investment that will pay ever-increasing dividends throughout eternity.  And maybe, just maybe, it will lead you to the proper attainment and stewarding of money, possessions and fame in this life, too.

Think of what would happen if you and I would sink as much blood, sweat and tears into the pursuit of Biblical wisdom as we do money, possession and fame!  We would attain the kind of enduring wealth that earns the applause of heaven. By far, that is a great ROI!

“Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”
~Jesus Christ, Luke 12:21

Winning At Life:

Read the parable of the rich fool and the commentary on money that follows in Luke 12:13-24.  Write out a one paragraph prayer in your journal that incorporates Jesus’ teaching.

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The Sure Path To Spiritual Perfection

Read: Proverbs 7

“Follow my advice, my son; always treasure my commands. Obey my commands and live! Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes. Tie them on your fingers as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Love wisdom like a sister; make insight a beloved member of your family.”  (Proverbs 7:1-4, NLT)

In the first ten chapters of Proverbs, Solomon, the primary author of this amazing book, uses a literary technique by which he personifies wisdom as a woman.  This woman, we might call her Lady Wisdom, calls out to a young man, representing us, offering insights that will keep him from foolish decisions that will wreck his life. Obviously, Lady Wisdom is God’s call to you and me to invest our highest and best energies in that which will enable us to lead a good life—one that is successful, productive, satisfying and most of all, pleasing to him.

Now that sounds like a huge task—and in many ways it is—but the path to that kind of life, let’s call it spiritual perfection, is really pretty straightforward.  The journey on that road is by way of the Word of God—and it is fueled by our growth in knowledge of and obedience to God’s revealed truth.  A.W. Tozer said it this way:

“The Word of God well understood and religiously obeyed is the shortest route to spiritual perfection. And we must not select a few favorite passages to the exclusion of others. Nothing less than a whole Bible can make a whole Christian.”

I know of no other way to the kind of Wisdom that Solomon talks about, no surer path to spiritual perfection, no other road to becoming a whole Christian, and no other spiritual discipline that will lead us down that trail to a God-pleasing life than by centering our lives in God’s Word—reading, memorizing, meditating, journaling, praying and actively modeling the Scriptures. Nothing will contribute more to your growth, health and success in every area of life as a believer than that.

It is this simple, my friend—not easy, but simple.  If you want to mature in your faith, morph into greater Christlikeness, deepen your knowledge of God, insulate your life from sin, enlarge your Kingdom effectiveness, increase your spiritual power, develop life skills for the daily challenges you face, and in general, live in the blessing zone of God’s favor, you have got to be in God’s Holy Word on a regular, if not daily, basis.

Here is how King David said it in the very first Psalm: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.”

That’s the kind of life I want!  How about you?

“No man is uneducated who knows the Bible, and no one is wise who is ignorant of its teachings.” ~Samuel Chadwick

Winning At Life:

Ray E. Baughman, who wrote The Abundant Life, suggested the SPECS method to help you apply the Scripture. As you read the Word of God, ask yourself these questions:

Sins to forsake?
Promises to claim?
Examples to follow?
Commands to obey?
Stumbling blocks or errors to avoid?

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Unholy Fire

Read: Proverbs 6

“Can you build a fire in your lap and not burn your pants?” (Proverbs 6:27 MSG)

“If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned!” That’s what my father used to say to me, and I’m sure his father said to him, and his father said to him.  The reason fathers the world over say that is because of the innate curiosity little boys seem to have for fire.  I’m sure even before matches were invented, back when man lived in caves, wore animal skins and first discovered fire, some cave dad was telling his son, “Trog, you poke fire with stick, you get bad burn!”

Okay, maybe it didn’t happen quite that way, but around 3,000 years ago Solomon mused in Proverbs 6:27, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?” Of course, Solomon’s point is that what is true of physical fire is also true in the spiritual realm—that human beings are often drawn to the very things that can burn them, sometimes beyond remedy. This chapter in Proverbs mentions the three biggies of what we might call unholy fire:

The Gold:  Specifically, Proverbs 6:1-5 warns us about one of the riskiest, and therefore worst kinds of financial transactions of all: entering into a business partnership without prayerful and careful planning. Solomon doesn’t care whether the business opportunity has great potential or not, he just says agreeing to it apart from God’s wisdom is the height of foolishness. This is particularly true if the business deal is a get rich quick scheme, which seems to be the implication here.

If you’ve entered into a deal without giving due spiritual diligence to it, chances are, you’re going to get yourself burned! The wisest thing you could do would be to quickly and graciously extract yourself from your foolish partnership and chalk it up to a lesson learned the hard way.

“If you’ve gone into hock with your neighbor or locked yourself
into a deal with a stranger…Don’t waste a minute,
get yourself out of that mess!”

The Good Life:  Perhaps the most typical way we play with fire is by rejecting the common sense approach to work and wealth that simply rolls up it’s sleeves, sees the responsibilities before it, doesn’t over-think what needs to be done, just seizes the day and gets after it.

Solomon describes this approach to life in Proverbs 6:6-11 by illustrating the work ethic, of all things, the ubiquitous ant. More success stories are birthed from the ant’s I-work-hard-for-the-money life philosophy than any other.  Far too many people in our day, lured by lust for quick fame and easy fortune, are waiting for their ship to come in. The problem is, they’ve never put their ship out to sea.  God will reward you with the good life, but he expects you to get up in the morning, grab your lunch pail, put on your hard hat, and get to work!

“A day off here, a day off there, sit back take it easy—
Do you know what comes next?  Just this:
You can look forward to a dirt-poor life!”

The Gals: I suppose in fairness to the ladies, I should say “The Gals or the Guys”, since sexual indiscretion is an equal opportunity enticer.  Solomon knew from first hand experience what we have observed in the lives of countless high-profile people in our lifetime who have crashed once promising careers, burned sterling reputations and caused untold pain in innocent bystanders by allowing their sexual drives to do just that: Drive their behavior.

God never intended our sexual needs to be in the driver’s seat of our lives. Our brain was meant to occupy that position, and our moral core was meant to be our navigator.  As strong as our sexual drive is, and as susceptible as it is to temptation, just mark this down: If you give in to your sexual desires apart from God’s plan for sexual satisfaction within marriage, you are toast!  That is what Proverbs 6:26 says,

“The adulteress will reduce you to a loaf of bread,
Sexual indiscretion will prey upon your very life.”

Well, there you have it. You keep poking your stick in those three flames of unholy fire and eventually you are going to get burned.  There is nothing really profound about Solomon’s teaching here; he’s just telling it like it is.  And like that little ant in verses 6-8 which doesn’t need anyone to help it discover the deeper, hidden meaning of life, neither do you. The ant just does the right thing.

I hope you will, too!

“It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things that men of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.” ~Edmund Burke

Winning At Life:

Think carefully about this and answer honestly: Are you playing with fire with the gold (the unspiritual pursuit of wealth), the good life (an irresponsible approach to success) or the girls (an uncontrolled sexual appetite)? Being truthful and accountable in these three areas may mean the difference between being blessed and getting burned!

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The Sweet Poison of the False Infinite

Read: Proverbs 5

“The seductive woman is dancing down the primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her. (Proverbs 5:5, MSG)

“Sex, sex, sex!” Have you noticed how much our culture worships sexual gratification—sexual fulfillment achieved with anyone, any time and in any way you want?  My guess is that any alien who landed on Planet Earth to research our species would have to conclude one thing just from the 372 million pornographic pages available on the Internet (according to Rita Cosby, MSNBC): The human race bows in worship before its chief god, Sex.

Proverbs warns us repeatedly that when we ignore God’s promise to fully satisfy our sexual desires through a loving, life-long and faithful relationship with the person to whom we are married, we will end up elevating the world’s promise of sensual satisfaction to god-like status—at our own peril. You see, money, power, fame, relationships, possessions and sex—especially sex—are what C.S. Lewis referred to as the “sweet poison of the false infinite.” These are what we might call substitute sacreds—the surrogates we desperately use to fill the emptiness of our dissatisfied lives.

In reality, however, no substitute sacred ever fulfills what it so brazenly promises. Only the one true Sacred can do that! St. Augustine said, “Sin comes when we take a perfectly natural desire or longing or ambition and try desperately to fulfill it without God…All these good things, and all our security, are rightly found only and completely in him.” God longs for us to come to him with our needy souls so he can graciously and abundantly and unendingly satisfy our deepest longings and most powerful passions—in his way and in his time. As Augustine said, God has created us for himself, and we will only find satisfaction when we find our satisfaction in him. Again, that includes our sexual needs fulfilled according to God’s design.

Annie Dillard tells of an experiment in which entomologists enticed male butterflies with a painted cardboard replica larger and more enticing than the females of their species. These male butterflies would repeatedly and eagerly mount the colorful cardboard cutout to mate with it, while nearby, the real, living female butterfly enticingly opened and closed her wings in vain.

Friend, the real, living God is near, longing to cover you in the shadow of his wings, where he will provide for you soul-satisfaction in every dimension of your being—even the sexual.  Why settle for a substitute sacred when the real Divine awaits!

In reality, sin is our attempt to fill a void that only God can fill.

Winning At Life:

Make a conscious effort today to identify all the substitute sacreds along your path.  My guess is that you’ll probably lose count before the day is out, since there will be so many.  Each time you are enticed with money, sex or power, stop and give thanks to God that he has instead given you eternal wealth, true satisfaction, and spiritual authority—far more gratifying than the sweet poison of these false infinites.

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Listen Up!

Read: Proverbs 4

“Listen, friends, to some fatherly advice; sit up and take notice so you’ll know how to live. I’m giving you good counsel; don’t let it go in one ear and out the other. (Proverbs 4:1-2, MSG)

“Listen up!” People who know me will hear me say that with some regularity.  It’s my way of getting people’s attention. It means that I’m fixin’ to say something that’s extremely important—at least in my humble opinion. I think it’s especially important for parents to be giving those kinds of listen up talks to their children. Start early and do it often—don’t abdicate the impartation of wisdom to your children’s teacher, or to pop culture, or to their friends.  It is your job—so do it!  Do it out of love; do it out of your own reservoir of Godly wisdom (which, if you don’t have, means you need to quickly get to the Source and start filling your own tank); take responsibility for shaping their lives; do it because next to the Word of God, you are the single biggest influence for good and godliness your child has—or at least you should be.

My fear is that far too many parents have left the business of molding their child’s intellect and character to the winds of fate.  Perhaps that’s why, as many of us are convinced, our country is morally and intellectually adrift—fast approaching the shoals of has-been. But I’m not ready to abandon our culture to second-rate status; I believe we can quickly reverse our spiritual-moral-cultural drift one child at a time by parents simply doing what parents are supposed to do: Having those listen up talks with our kids.

About a year ago my older daughter graduated from a leading business school with her MBA, and during a break in the commencement activities, her mother and I were giving her the listen up talk—at her invitation. (By the way, the ratio of unsolicited to solicited parental advice obviously decreases as the age of your child increases—and at a certain point, you get to have those talks only as they invite you into their world.)  I found myself sharing with her my list of life lessons—core convictions that drive the way I think and the way I act.  I noticed that as I was sharing from my reservoir of life experiences as filtered through God’s Word she was actually listening.

I think she will do just fine because that wasn’t the first listen up talk we’d ever had.

Maybe it’s time you had the first in a series of your own listen up talks with those special people in your life.

“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.” ~Josh Billing

Winning At Life:

Make a list of your ten most important life lessons. Over the course of the next 90 days, find ways to slip them in, one at a time, to the conversations you are having with your children or grandchildren.  The younger they are, the more assertive you can be. The older they are, the more creative and Spirit-led you will need to be.