SYNOPSIS: Jealousy — ubiquitous among humanity (a fancy way of saying we all struggle with it) — desires to possess what another has: their looks, their lovers, their likes on social media, their popularity, their possessions, their achievements, their accolades, you name it. However, our jealous feelings say more about us than those whose things we covet. In reality, jealousy simply disguises our own insecurities. Worse still, it becomes a tool of Satan, whose leading motivation is jealousy. But the Christ-follower is to be different. Scripture is very clear that “love is not jealous.” So, to combat the possessive love-killer called jealousy and send it packing, we must learn to risk all we have to give for the benefit of those of whom we are jealous. Today, get rid of jealousy by risking what you have to give: your un-jealous love!
Making Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…Love never fails.
Love–agape love, the love that emanates from God’s being—is not jealous. If you truly love a person, then in the passive sense, you will never be envious of who they are and what they have. In the active sense, you will not allow their successes or possessions or looks to lead you to feel insecure about yourself, then allow that feeling to metastasize into fear, bitterness, suspicion, humiliation, plotting, and rage.
Think of how much damage jealousy has unleashed throughout human history. Two classic examples are found in scripture—one in the Old Testament and the other in the New. In Genesis 37:10-12, we are told that Joseph’s brothers were jealous of their father’s favoritism toward Joseph, of the ornate coat he had given him, of Joseph’s dreams of superiority over his brothers. Because they didn’t have what Joseph had, they sold him into slavery. And even that was a far cry better than what they initially plotted to do—to murder him. Then in the New Testament, Matthew 27:16-20 informs us that the Jewish leaders handed Jesus over to Pilate to be crucified because they were jealous of him.
The poet John Milton said that envy is the devil’s own emotion. Oscar Wilde tells the story of the devil “crossing the Libyan Desert, [when] he came upon a spot where a number of small fiends were tormenting a holy hermit. The sainted man easily shook off their evil suggestions. The devil watched their failure and then he stepped forward to give them a lesson. ‘What you do is too crude,’ he said. ‘Permit me for one moment.’ With that he whispered to [the] holy man, ‘Your brother has just been made [the] Bishop of Alexandria.’ A scowl of malignant jealousy at once clouded the serene face of the hermit. ‘That,’ said the devil to his imps, ‘is the sort of thing … I [would] recommend.’” (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Memories and Adventures, 66)
So ubiquitous is the sin of jealousy in the human race that there was even an offering for it in the Old Testament (Numbers 5). Yet jealousy is arguably the hardest sin to recognize and admit to in ourselves. But it’s everywhere; it’s universal. And mark it down: unchecked jealousy eventually leads to relational tragedy.
James 3:16 says, “Where you have envy … there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Jealousy leads us to do evil. It’s why Cain killed Abel. Abraham’s two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, were torn apart by jealous rivalry. Bitter envy separated Isaac’s two sons, Jacob and Esau. The jealousy of Jacob’s twelve sons rips the family apart. It’s why Saul tried to kill David.
It is throughout the Bible, from beginning to end. And it is still at work in the world today. It is destroying families, killing friendships, ruining community, shrinking hearts, wrecking lives—and it is at work in you and me. Nobody gets a pass on jealousy!
Jealousy desires to possess what another has – their love, success, things, popularity, social media likes, Instagram followers, you name it. But in truth, jealous thoughts and feelings are simply insecurities disguised. However, scripture bluntly tells us that we cannot be both loving and jealous. As Dorothy Sayers said of the mutual exclusivity of love and jealousy,
We can’t possess one another. We can only give and hazard all we have.
And that, my friends, is the way to deal with the problem of jealousy: get rid of it by risking what you have to give—your un-jealous love!
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