God has a unique design and a special purpose for every child’s life. It’s the highest priority of the parent to discover, cultivate and delight in that design—not to manipulate it into their own vision for the child. Learning from the parental mistakes of the Biblical Isaac and Rebekah, moms and dads must neither be an “Isaac” — disengage and see what happens, nor a “Rebekah” — helicopter in and rescue the child from every danger. Rather, parents must partner with the Divine Designer who gave their little one life in order to bring out the God-colors as he or she develops.
The Journey // Focus: Genesis 27:1-10
One day when Isaac was old and turning blind, he called for Esau&, his older son, and said, “My son…I am an old man now, and I don’t know when I may die. Take your bow and a quiver full of arrows, and go out to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare my favorite dish, and bring it here for me to eat. Then I will pronounce the blessing that belongs to you, my firstborn son, before I die.” But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to Esau. So when Esau left to go hunting, she said to her son Jacob, “Listen to me. Do exactly as I tell you. Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I’ll use them to prepare your father’s favorite dish. Then take the food to your father so he can eat it and bless you instead before he dies.”
Like all parents, Isaac and Rebekah were far from perfect. The father was detached—aloof to the family dynamic played out in this narrative—but complicit in it, nonetheless. The mother was overly-involved, manipulatively so. She had a helicoptering style of parenting: hovering over her favorite son, swooping in to the rescue whenever she perceived that people were hostile to him and circumstances were non-conducive to her plan for his life.
Speaking of which, Rebekah had a vision for Jacob’s life, and in a sense, it wasn’t far off from God’s grand vision for his life. The problem was, she mismanaged the details and the process of the vision in a big way. She felt God needed help fulfilling the Divine plan for Jacob—and she was willing to compromise her moral authority to get the desired result.
By the way, God worked through the dumb things these parents did, as he does with the mistakes we make with our children–thank God. As John Newton wrote, “We serve a gracious Master who knows how to overrule even our mistakes to His glory and our own.” But negative consequences were unleashed in the patriarchal family dynamic that lasted for decades, and you might even say, for generations.
It’s easy for parents to often confuse their desire for their child’s life with what is really best for that child. It’s the classic story of the high school quarterback who insists on turning his son into an NFL prospect by age 10, or the former home-coming queen who now dresses her little four-year-old up like Miss America, or the high achieving parents who insist that the school treat their second-grader like a Rhodes Scholar.
Christian parents sometimes get their plan mixed up with what God’s vision is for their child. Rebekah did that—and she felt God needed help fulfilling it. And she was willing to compromise. Predictably, Jacob, low in moral character, was more afraid of getting caught than doing wrong—so he went along with his mother’s deception. And that would be the beginning of many more poor choices to come.
God has a unique design and a special purpose for every child’s life. It is the highest priority of the parent to discover, understand, cultivate and delight in that design—not to manipulate it into their vision for the child’s life. A parent must not become a “Rebekah”—manipulative and controlling, helicopter in and rescue the child from every danger. Nor should a parent become an “Isaac” —disengage and see what happens! Rather, the parent must learn to partner with the One who gave the child life in order to bring out the God-colors in that child’s life.
If you are a parent, or involved in rearing the child in any way—as a caregiver, teacher, mentor, coach—the methods you use must never be inconsistent with God’s character, design and plan. You have a precious gem in your care, so take care how you cut and polish that diamond! And never forget, the greatest gift you can give that child is your example. It’s the thumbprint you leave behind for generations to come.
Many years ago a Christian magazine presented some interesting facts about two families. In 1677 an immoral man married a immoral woman. Of the 1900 descendants that came from their marriage, 771 were criminals, 250 were arrested for various crimes—60 for theft and 39 were convicted for murder. Forty of the women were known to have venereal disease. They spent a combined total of 1300 years behind bars, costing the state millions of dollars.
The other family was the Edwards family—the third generation included Jonathan Edwards, the great New England revivalist and president of Princeton. Of the 1,344 descendants, several were college presidents and professors, 186 became ministers, 86 were state senators, 3 were Congressmen, 30 were judges, and 1 became Vice President of the United States. No reference can be found to anyone spending time in jail or in the poorhouse.
Not all children of good parents become amazing adults, nor do children of bad parents always turn out bad. But no one can deny, a parent’s example is extremely powerful – either for good or for evil, sometimes for generations to come!
God has a vision for every child’s life. Carefully, worshipfully, discover the Divine design. And never forget, an act of faith and obedience in following God’s vision for that child’s life today can reverse the curse of family imperfections. A step of faith right now may just be that which will release the blessings of God upon your children’s children!
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.