We Have Met The Enemy And He Is Us!

“Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

Food For Thought: Forgive my lack of self-control in writing such a long post today, but I have a lot to say about this subject — lessons learned mostly from failure. For that reason, I fancy myself somewhat of an expert in this area.

The Bible has an amazing amount to say about this business of self-control. In fact, in Galatians 5:23 it is even said to be a fruit of the Spirit. Several different words are used for self-control, but the word in the Galatians text is “enkrateia,” which refers to being strong in something. In this case, it means to master your moods, impulses and behavior.

Now understand that self-control is not simply “delayed gratification.” In our culture, delay means waiting two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one. Delayed gratification means you give up Coke for Lent – and drink Pepsi instead. However, self-control may mean giving something up completely.

Self-control is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. Self-control means taking care of my body in a God-honoring way. Self-control means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. Self-control means saying “No” to something I want but isn’t good for me, or isn’t God’s best for me. Self-control says to a watching world that God’s long-range purposes for my life are more important than what looks and feels good right now. Self-control means to take dominion over my desires.

The root word from which self-control was derived meant to “take hold of something” or literally, to “get a grip.” In whatever particular area of life we struggle, the Biblical writers would say, “Get a grip on this thing!” And they are very specific about the areas where we are to get a grip and practice self-control. Foundationally, they would say get a grip in every area of your life. Don’t let anything be out of your control…bring every area of your life under the supervision of the Holy Spirit. The Apostle Paul talked about bringing his entire body under control. He even said he would bring every thought captive. But there are some specific areas which the book of Proverbs, in particular, exhorts us to exercise self-control:

In Proverbs 29:11 we’re told to get a grip on our temper (and I think it would be safe to broaden that to include all of our emotions-to get a grip on our moods): “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Proverbs 6:25-26 tells us that we’d better control our sexual desire: “Do not lust in your heart after the beauty of an adulterous woman, or let her captivate you with her eyes, for she will reduce you to a loaf of bread…” In other words, if you lack control in the area of sexual purity, you’re toast man! You give over control to impure thoughts, pornography, or an inappropriate relationship, it will lead you right down the path to destruction.

Proverbs 21:20 teaches us to get a grip on our consumption and spending: “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.” If you are out-of-control in your spending habits and in bondage to materialism, debt, or living from paycheck-to-paycheck, robbing Peter to pay Paul, begin to cultivate this fruit.

Proverbs 23:29-35 talks about getting a grip on our drinking habits. It warns that if you’re loosing the control battle to strong drink, “in the end, it’s going to bite you like a viper.” That’s why Paul says “don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to excess, but instead be filled, or controlled, by the Spirit.”

Proverbs 23:4 warns us to get a grip even on our ambition: “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.”

Proverbs also speaks of getting a grip on our physical lives…being self-controlled in our eating habits. Proverbs 23:1-3 says, “When you go out to dinner with an influential person, mind your manners: Don’t gobble your food, don’t talk with your mouth full. And don’t stuff yourself; bridle your appetite.” (Message)

Perhaps the most discussed, and most difficult area where Proverbs calls for getting a grip is on our mouth. The 31 chapters of Proverbs have over 150 references to the words we speak. Proverbs 10:19 says, “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (New Living Translation) Proverbs 21:23 says, “Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.” (The Message) If you’re prone to gossip, criticism, harshness, lying, discouraging words—the Bible says “do what it takes to get a grip, because you are destructive to other and putting yourself in eternal danger.”

There is no area of life where we’re exempt from developing self-control. We need to blanket our lives with this fruit so that the devil can’t get a foothold and distract us from the life God desires us to live.

So where do you begin? Let me suggest 3 starting points for cultivating self-control:

Step one, start with you! One of the most profitable discoveries we can make in life is to realize that we can only work on changing us! This is the very first step is to take responsibility for your lack of self-control. Instead of worrying about the change that should take place in someone else, focus on you. D. L. Moody was once asked, “Of all the people you come into contact with, who gives you the most trouble?” Moody’s answer: “D. L. Moody. I have the most trouble with myself.” The cartoon character Pogo said it well: “We have met the enemy…and the enemy is us.” The whole issue of self-control starts with self. You’ve got to begin to work on you! John Maxwell said it this way: “The first victory that successful people ever achieve or win, is the victory over themselves.” No person is truly free until he or she attains self-mastery.

Step two, start small! The old adage is true, “you can eat an elephant…one bite at a time! Don’t get overwhelmed with how far you may have to go. God is ready to give you just the right amount of grace and strength to gain mastery of these areas right now. He doesn’t give you a reservoir of grace and strength for a month or a year from now. But like the manna in the desert, he gives you the right amount for today. And tomorrow, he’ll give you the right amount for that day. Do what you can today.

Step three, start now! Do it today. John Hancock said, “All worthwhile men have good thoughts, good ideas, and good intentions, but precious few ever translate them into action.” The Bible says today is the day of salvation! Don’t let a minute go by without taking action to develop self-control. All heaven is holding its breath for you to begin…and succeed. The time is short and heaven is a nearer reality than ever before. And you have a Father who will move heaven and earth to give the will and the power to develop self-control in any and every area of your life, because he loves you and wants you to be free.

What a great promise Paul gives us in Philippians 2:12-13 when we are willing to do whatever it takes to obey God’s will: “Be…careful to put into action God’s saving work in your lives, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.”

Prayer: Lord, this is where much of the battle is fought in my life. Today I want to gain small victories in self-control. I want to control my tongue, manage my eating habits, discipline my thought-life, steward my money…all for your glory. I ask that you would release more grace, more power, more courage and more support to do my part in response to what you have already done in my life. May everything about me today bring praise, glory and honor to you. Amen.