Tag Archives: self-control

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Self-Control — Get A Grip

Just Say No

SYNOPSIS: In response to the salvation we received through the cross and will receive when Christ returns, God’s grace teaches us to live self-controlled lives in the present moment. What is self-control? It’s mastering our moods, impulses, and behaviors. It’s not just delayed gratification, like waiting two minutes in the fast-food drive-thru instead of one, it may mean giving something up completely to instead direct my physical desires for God’s glory and not my own gratification. It’s taking care of my body in a God-honoring way. It’s biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. It’s saying no to what I want but isn’t good for me. It’s making God’s long-range purposes for me more important than what looks and feels good right now. It’s taking dominion over my desires. And the grand prize for developing self-control now will be heaven’s reward and God’s recognition in the life to come.

Project 52—Memorize:
Titus 2:11-13

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.”

In response to the salvation we received through the cross and in light of the salvation we will receive when Christ returns, the Apostle Paul says that God’s grace teaches us to live self-controlled lives.

What does he mean by self-control? It means to master your moods, impulses, and behavior. It is not simply speaking of delayed gratification, which in our culture, means waiting two minutes in the fast-food drive-thru instead of one, or giving up Coke for Lent—and drinking Pepsi instead. Biblical self-control may mean giving something up completely. It is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. It means taking care of my body in a way that honors God. It means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. It means saying  “No” to something I want but isn’t good for me. It means making God’s long-range purposes for my life more important than what looks and feels good right now. It means to take dominion over my desires.

The root word for self-control meant to “take hold of something” or literally, to “get a grip.”  In whatever particular area of life we struggle, Paul would say, “Get a grip on this thing!”  Don’t let anything be out of your control; bring every area of your life under the supervision of the Holy Spirit. Paul talked about bringing his entire body under control.  He even said he would bring every thought captive. That is what God wants of us, too!

There is no area of life where we’re exempt from developing self-control. We need to blanket our lives with this fruit so that the devil can’t get a foothold and distract us from the life God desires us to live.

Now one piece of advice for cultivating self-control in that particularly resistant area of your life is simply this: Start small!

The old adage is true, “you can eat an elephant—one bite at a time!”  Don’t get overwhelmed with how far you may have to go. God is ready to give you just the right amount of grace and strength to gain mastery over that area right now.  He doesn’t give you a reservoir of grace and strength for a month or a year from now. But like the manna in the desert, he gives you the right amount for today. And tomorrow, he’ll give you the right amount for that day. Do what you can today. You don’t become a spiritual giant by praying an hour a day; you begin by praying five minutes a day. Or maybe three or two. You just begin spending time with God. So it is with any area of self-control. Just begin by identifying your area, ask God for help and then begin to take resolute action steps to gain mastery.

Now here is the good news: There is a prize for us who run the race and train our bodies and discipline our minds and partner with the Spirit to develop the fruit of self-control. It is the reward of heaven and recognition of God in the life to come. It is to have God’s final approval that will make every effort you put forth now to develop self-control, as painful and sacrificial as it may be, worth it in the end.

So go ahead and get a grip!

“Prudent, cautious self-control is wisdom’s root” ~Robert Burns

Reflect and Apply: Offer this prayer as you begin to exercise self-control over your area of resistance: “Father, today I would like to take some small steps to bring self-control to my life. By your strength, may the self-control that I exert over my flesh be pleasing to you and take me a step closer to a life full devotion to you.”

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Dude, Control Yourself

The Wisdom of Practicing Self-Control, Early and Often

When the Bible calls us to exercise self-control, it means to master our moods, desires and behaviors. What it doesn’t mean is simply to delay gratification – to wait two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one, or to give up Coke for Lent and drink Pepsi instead. The root word from which self-control was derived meant to “take hold of something.” Literally, in the particular area of life we struggle, the Bible says, “Get a grip, dude!” Ultimately, the most important power we can wield is that which we exercise over ourselves.

Enduring Truth // Focus: Proverbs 25:28

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

What does the Bible mean by self-control? Primarily it means to master your moods, impulses and behavior. What it doesn’t mean is simply to delay gratification. In our culture, delayed gratification means waiting two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one, or to give up Coke for Lent—and drink Pepsi instead.

Self-control may mean giving something up completely. Self-control is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. Self-control means taking care of my body in a God-honoring way. Self-control means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. Self-control means saying “no” to something I want but isn’t good for me. Self-control says to a watching world that God’s long-range purposes for my life are more important than what looks and feels good right now. Self-control means to take dominion over my fleshly desires.

The root word from which self-control was derived meant to “take hold of something” or literally, to “get a grip.” In whatever particular area of life we struggle, these Biblical writers would say, “Get a grip on this thing!” And they are very specific about the areas where we are to get a grip and practice self-control. Foundationally, they would say get a grip in every area of your life. But there are some specific areas which the book of Proverbs, in particular, exhorts us to exercise self-control:

In Proverbs 29:11 we’re told to get a grip on our temper and on our moods: “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Proverbs 6:25-26 tells us that we’d better control our sexual desire: “Do not lust in your heart after the beauty of an adulterous woman, or let her captivate you with her eyes, for she will reduce you to a loaf of bread…” In other words, if you lack control in the area of sexual purity, you’re toast man! You give over control to impure thoughts, pornography, or an inappropriate relationship, it will lead you right down the path to destruction.

Proverbs 21:20 teaches us to get a grip on our consumption and spending: “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.”

Proverbs 23:29-35 talks about getting a grip on our drinking habits: “In the end, it’s going to bite you like a viper.”

Proverbs 23:4 warns us to get a grip even on our ambition: “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.”

Proverbs 23:1-3 also speaks of getting a grip on our physical lives: “When you go out to dinner with an influential person, mind your manners: Don’t gobble your food, don’t talk with your mouth full. And don’t stuff yourself; bridle your appetite.” (Message)

Proverbs 10:19 says, “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (New Living Translation) Getting a grip on our mouth is one of the most discussed and most difficult areas where Proverbs calls for self-control. In fact, in the 31 chapters of Proverbs there are over 150 references to how we use, or misuse, our words

You know, it’s too bad, in light of the last point, that God didn’t create the human body to include a mouth zipper. That would have made things a lot easier for some of us! But since he didn’t, self-control is still the best and only option for managing our mouth, and managing our life.

So where do you begin? Let me suggest 3 starting points for cultivating self-control:

Step one, start with you! One of the most profitable discoveries we can make in life is to realize that we can only work on changing us! This is the very first step to taking responsibility for your lack of self-control. John Maxwell said it this way: “The first victory that successful people ever achieve or win, is the victory over themselves.”

Step two, start small! The old adage is true, “you can eat an elephant…one bite at a time!” Don’t get overwhelmed with how far you may have to go. God is ready right now to give you just the right amount of grace and strength to gain mastery of these areas. He doesn’t give you a reservoir of grace and strength for a month or a year from now. But like the manna in the desert, he gives you the right amount for today. And tomorrow, he’ll give you the right amount for that day. So just do what you can with what you’ve got!

Step three, start now! Today is God’s gift to you—that’s why it’s called the present—so get after it!

Thrive: Simply identify one area where you want to begin exercising self-control. Now, write out the first step you will need to take to achieve mastery in this area. And if you are willing, share your plan with someone.

Posted on

Self-Control–Get a Grip

Reflect:
Titus 2:11-13

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.”

In response to the salvation we received through the cross and in light of the salvation we will receive when Christ returns, the Apostle Paul says that God’s grace teaches us to live self-controlled lives.

What does the he mean by self-control? It means to master your moods, impulses and behavior. It is not simply speaking of delayed gratification, which in our culture, means waiting two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one, or giving up Coke for Lent—and drinking Pepsi instead. Biblical self-control may mean giving something up completely. It is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. It means taking care of my body in a way that honors God. It means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. It means saying “No” to something I want but isn’t good for me. It means making God’s long-range purposes for my life more important than what looks and feels good right now. It means to take dominion over my desires.

What does the Bible mean when it calls us to live self-controlled lives? It means to master your moods, impulses and behavior. It is not simply speaking of delayed gratification, which in our culture, means waiting two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one, or giving up Coke for Lent—and drinking Pepsi instead. Biblical self-control may mean giving something up completely. It is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. It means taking care of my body in a way that honors God. It means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. It means saying “No” to something I want but isn’t good for me. It means making God’s long-range purposes for my life more important than what looks and feels good right now. It means to take dominion over my desires. It means even taking every thought captive. That is what God wants of you and me–and in light of what He has planned for those who master self-control, the effort will be well worth it!

The root word for self-control meant to “take hold of something” or literally, to “get a grip.” In whatever particular area of life we struggle, Paul would say, “Get a grip on this thing!” Don’t let anything be out of your control; bring every area of your life under the supervision of the Holy Spirit. Paul talked about bringing his entire body under control. He even said he would bring every thought captive. That is what God wants of us, too!

There is no area of life where we’re exempt from developing self-control. We need to blanket our lives with this fruit so that the devil can’t get a foothold and distract us from the life God desires us to live.

Now one piece of advice for for cultivating self-control in that particularly resistant area of your life is simply this: Start small!

The old adage is true, “you can eat an elephant—one bite at a time!” Don’t get overwhelmed with how far you may have to go. God is ready to give you just the right amount of grace and strength to gain mastery over that area right now. He doesn’t give you a reservoir of grace and strength for a month or a year from now. But like the manna in the desert, he gives you the right amount for today. And tomorrow, he’ll give you the right amount for that day. Do what you can today. You don’t become a spiritual giant by praying an hour a day; you begin by praying five minutes a day. Or maybe three or two. You just begin spending time with God. So it is with any area of self-control. Just begin by identifying your area, ask God for help and then begin to take resolute action steps to gain mastery.

Now here is the good news: There is a prize for us who run the race and train our bodies and discipline our minds and partner with the Spirit to develop the fruit of self-control. It is the reward of heaven and recognition of God in the life to come. It is to have God’s final approval that will make every effort you put forth now to develop self-control, as painful and sacrificial as it may be, worth it in the end.

So go ahead and get a grip!

“Prudent, cautious self-control is wisdom’s root” ~Robert Burns

Reflect and Apply: Offer this prayer as you begin to exercise self-control over your area of resistance: “Father, today I would like to take some small steps to bring self-control to my life. By your strength, may the self-control that I exert over my flesh be pleasing to you and take me a step closer to a life full devotion to you.”

Posted on

Dude, Control Yourself

Read: Proverbs 25:28

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

What does the Bible mean by self-control?  Primarily it means to master your moods, impulses and behavior. What it doesn’t mean is simply to delay gratification.  In our culture, delayed gratification means waiting two minutes in the fast food drive-thru instead of one, or to give up Coke for Lent—and drink Pepsi instead.

Self-control may mean giving something up completely. Self-control is the ability to direct my physical desires to fulfill God’s purposes, instead of using them for my own personal gratification. Self-control means taking care of my body in a God-honoring way. Self-control means biting my tongue instead of making that sarcastic remark. Self-control means saying  “no” to something I want but isn’t good for me. Self-control says to a watching world that God’s long-range purposes for my life are more important than what looks and feels good right now. Self-control means to take dominion over my fleshly desires.

The root word from which self-control was derived meant to “take hold of something” or literally, to “get a grip.” In whatever particular area of life we struggle, these Biblical writers would say, “Get a grip on this thing!” And they are very specific about the areas where we are to get a grip and practice self-control.   Foundationally, they would say get a grip in every area of your life. But there are some specific areas which the book of Proverbs, in particular, exhorts us to exercise self-control:

In Proverbs 29:11 we’re told to get a grip on our temper and on our moods: “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Proverbs 6:25-26 tells us that we’d better control our sexual desire: “Do not lust in your heart after the beauty of an adulterous woman, or let her captivate you with her eyes, for she will reduce you to a loaf of bread…” In other words, if you lack control in the area of sexual purity, you’re toast man!  You give over control to impure thoughts, pornography, or an inappropriate relationship, it will lead you right down the path to destruction.

Proverbs 21:20 teaches us to get a grip on our consumption and spending: “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.”

Proverbs 23:29-35 talks about getting a grip on our drinking habits: “In the end, it’s going to bite you like a viper.”

Proverbs 23:4 warns us to get a grip even on our ambition: “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.”

Proverbs 23:1-3 also speaks of getting a grip on our physical lives: “When you go out to dinner with an influential person, mind your manners: Don’t gobble your food, don’t talk with your mouth full.  And don’t stuff yourself; bridle your appetite.” (Message)

Proverbs 10:19 says, “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin.  Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (New Living Translation) Getting a grip on our mouth is one of the most discussed and most difficult areas where Proverbs calls for self-control. In fact, in the 31 chapters of Proverbs there are over 150 references to how we use, or misuse, our words.

You know, it’s too bad, in light of the last point, that God didn’t create the human body to include a mouth zipper.  That would have made things a lot easier for some of us!  But since he didn’t, self-control is still the best and only option for managing our mouth, and managing our life.

So where do you begin?  Let me suggest 3 starting points for cultivating self-control:

Step one, start with you! One of the most profitable discoveries we can make in life is to realize that we can only work on changing us! This is the very first step to taking responsibility for your lack of self-control. John Maxwell said it this way: “The first victory that successful people ever achieve or win, is the victory over themselves.”

Step two, start small! The old adage is true, “you can eat an elephant…one bite at a time!” Don’t get overwhelmed with how far you may have to go.  God is ready right now to give you just the right amount of grace and strength to gain mastery of these areas.  He doesn’t give you a reservoir of grace and strength for a month or a year from now.  But like the manna in the desert, he gives you the right amount for today.  And tomorrow, he’ll give you the right amount for that day.  So just do what you can with what you’ve got!

Step three, start now! Today is God’s gift to you—that’s why it’s called the present—so get after it!

“All worthwhile men have good thoughts, good ideas, and good
intentions, but precious few ever translate them into action.”
~John Hancock

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Simply identify one area where you want to begin exercising self-control.  Now, write out the first step you will need to take to achieve mastery in this area.  And if you are willing, share your plan with someone.

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Get Growing

II Peter 1

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life… In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises… work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen.”
(II Peter 1:3,5,10)

Thoughts… Every authentic, healthy follower of Christ wants to grow spiritually. That’s usually right up there at the top of everyone’s wish list. But just how does one experience spiritual growth? That’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it?

For most, spiritual growth is a mystery. It is vague, not defined, something that is felt, not measured. If it is to happen at all, we see ourselves as the passive recipients of a divine agent that catalyzes growth rather than as the catalyst ourselves. In other words, our development into deeper spirituality, stability, maturity, and Christ-likeness is more up to God than it is to us.

Yet according to Peter, there is to be a pretty active partnership in this business of growth. God is the senior partner, you the junior. And here’s the deal: God has done his part in setting you up for spiritual growth. Notice what verse 3 says:

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” Did you see the word “everything” in that verse. In the Greek, that means “everything!” God has set you up, my friend, to be a growing, godly believer. Me, too!

Now it is up to us to supplement what God has so graciously and completely done in order to move along the continuum toward deeper spiritually. So what is our growth assignment then? Look at verse 5-8:

“Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Notice the seven key catalytic agents to growth that Peter mentions: moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance, godliness, brother affection, and love.

Very simply, when there is a choice between that which is morally pure and anything else, guess what? You and I have to choose moral purity! God can’t choose for us. He can strengthen us and prompt us, but we must make the choice. Added to moral purity must be Biblical knowledge, which frankly doesn’t come without regular meditation on God’s Word. Furthermore, purity and knowledge are safeguarded by self-control. Self-control is what teaches you to say “no” to anything that would hinder, hurt or destroy God’s work in you or in another. (See Titus 3:11-13). Adding to self-control is the exercise of patient endurance. Truthfully, there will be times when the only thing we can do is to grit our teeth and hang in there! Endurance must be connected to godliness or it is nothing more than stubbornness. Godliness means to think and act like God; it is to practice the presence of God at all times. Then along with godliness comes kindness and care for our brothers. Finally, to wrap everything into that which causes growth, we must express Christ-like love for all people at all times.

Purity, learning, self-control, endurance, godliness, kindness and love are the things that you can and must do to grow. And they are the very things that will make you more productive in your faith and useful to your Lord.

That’s your assignment today. So get out there and “grow” for it!

Prayer… Lord, thanks for giving me everything I need to grow into a thriving, useful, God-pleasing saint. I have no excuses not to grow. So today, I will do my part to supplement what you have already done for me.

One More Thing… “A soul may be in as thriving a state when thirsting, seeking and mourning after the Lord as when actually rejoicing in Him; as much in earnest when fighting in the valley as when singing upon the mount.” —John Newton