Kick The Approval Habit

Being With Jesus:
John 5:41

“Your approval or disapproval means nothing to me, for as I know so well, you don’t have God’s love within you.”

One of the secrets to Jesus’ life—his incomparable achievements, his inner joy, his impact on history—was his freedom from the need for human approval. He understood his identity was in God; his Father’s approval was his true north. Nothing else mattered; nothing else swayed him—even to the point of enduring the worst kind of rejection and suffering to fulfill what his identity demanded of him. And that is why we call him Savior!

Don’t you wish you could live that way too—free from the addiction of human approval? Well, you can—and you should. Now it won’t be easy to embrace that your true identity comes from God, because your enemy, Satan, works constantly to rob you of it and replace it with a false identity that requires the constant approval of others.  But it will be well worth the effort to live, like Jesus did, as the person God’s sees you to be.

And how does God see you? Probably the most powerful truth in Scripture on God’s view of you is Ephesians 2:10,

“For you are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for you to do…”

Do you realize what that means? You—right now, not someday, but right now—are God’s masterpiece. You are his work of art created anew in Christ to reflect the supernatural beauty, fundamental goodness and intrinsic worth of God himself. That is why Ephesians 2:11 goes on to say, “Therefore, remember…” Don’t forget who you are and “Whose” you are and what he has done to recreate you!

You see, you are not the sum total of what you do and how well you do it. That’s not your identity. Obviously, you live in a world where you are expected to perform at a high level of effectiveness and excellence if you hope to succeed and have the approval of others. That is what you must do, but that’s not who you are! And if you make your performance the basis of your identity and worth, your life will be dominated by anxiety, dissatisfaction, fear of failure and all kinds of other insecurities.

Ephesians 2:10I am not the sum total of what I do and how well I do it. That is not my identity. Nor am I the sum total of what others think of me. My worth is not the result of their approval. I am of inestimable worth and infinite value because God says so! And He says I am His masterpiece!

Likewise, you are not the sum total of what others think about you. Your worth is not the result of their approval. You live in a world governed by popularity and polls where approval and acceptance are important. It would be foolish to deny that. But your worth is not based on whether others think you are pretty or powerful or charismatic or charming. You are of inestimable worth and infinite value because God says so. He says, “you are my work of art! A masterpiece. When I made you, I outdid myself! And when sin messed you up, I spent a lot to restore you; I paid to reclaim you as my very own with my son’s blood. Don’t ever forget that!”

If you do, you will succumb to this debilitating addiction that blinds you to the truth that you are of such high value to God. Being addicted to the approval of others will lead you to become a people-pleaser, overly sensitive to criticism and ultimately to a life where the fear of rejection affects everything about you.

God doesn’t want you to live your life addicted to others’ approval; he paid with his sons’ blood to set you free from the fear of rejection. That is why in Ephesians 2:11 the Apostle Paul called you to a very spiritual activity—the practice of remembering. What do you need to remember?

For one, remember that striving for other people’s approval is a wasted expenditure of energy and counterproductive to your faith. It’s foolish to exert effort to get what God has already given! When you catch yourself trying to convince people how smart, successful or striking you are just to gain their admiration, just stop and practice remembering: Remember just how enriching and freeing it is to live in God’s acceptance and approval.

For another, remember that other people’s opinions can only enslave you if you let them. Author David Burns writes, “It is not another person’s approval that makes me feel good. It’s my belief that there is validity to their approval or disapproval.”

Quit giving other people’s opinion of you that kind of divine power. Suppose you were to visit a psychiatric ward, and a patient came up to you and said, “I had a vision, and I was told the fourth person to walk through that door today would be special messenger from God. You’re the fourth, so I know you are the chosen, the holy one, the world’s savior. Let me kiss your feet.” Would you base your identity on that? Would your self-esteem rise as a result of that? Of course not! Why? You considered the source.

God is the only true source for your identity; only God’s opinion truly matters! As Ephesians 2:10 says, “You are his workmanship.” As your Designer, he alone is qualified to evaluate your worth. So don’t give worship to another’s judgment of you!

Practice remembering who you are—and Whose you are—and you will begin to live a lot more like Jesus did: free from the need for others’ approval.

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“The fear of human opinion will only disable; trusting in God will keep you stable.” (Proverbs 29:25)

Getting To Know Jesus: If you haven’t already, memorize Ephesians 2:10. And for extra credit, memorize I John 3:1 as well. Then each day this week, spend time before you head out for the day and before you go to sleep at night meditating on what God’s truth means for you.