You Must Master It

Reflect: Genesis 4:6-7

The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?  But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

There are occasions, of course, when anger is appropriate.  But let’s be honest, that’s not very often.  Benjamin Franklin once said, “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”

Proverbs 29:11 says that only “a fool gives full vent to his anger.”  How many times have you proven that platitude to be true?  If you’re like me, at least once, probably more!

The truth is, it is next to impossible to be angry and intelligent at the same time.  To be sure, some anger is good. Channeled anger has been the motivation for much of the justice and societal change that has benefited the human family over time.  Even the Bible indicates the appropriateness of righteous anger.  But—and this is a big one—only if the anger is wrapped in intelligent thought!

So the question is, how do we win out over anger, rid ourselves of it before it either corrodes or destroys our most significant relationships, and turn it into an emotion that propels us toward positive personal growth?

AngerThe story of Cain here in Genesis 4:1-14 is a great case study. Unfortunately for Cain (and for Abel!), anger was not brought under control. But from Cain’s failure comes several anger management principles we would be wise to embrace.

To begin with, from Cain we learn that our very first response to the emotion of anger ought to be self-analysis. In other words, whenever I find myself getting upset, I ought to stop and say, “What does this say about me?”  You will notice in the story how God attempts to get Cain to look within himself at the source of his anger:  “Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast?” (Genesis 4:6)

In essence, God is telling Cain that before he reacts, he ought to reflect.

Our first and best response to anger is simply to think about it. That simple action would keep us from so much of the hardship that results from our uncontrolled anger. William Penn wrote, “It is he who is in the wrong who first gets angry.” In reality, anger reveals what kind of person I am—what is really in my heart, my true character. C.S. Lewis said,

“Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. If there are rats in a cellar, you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way, the suddenness of the provocation does not make me ill-tempered; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.”

So if you find yourself reacting in anger, ask yourself what the presence of anger is saying about your spirit or your character. Practice “slowing” … what James 1:19-20 says is being, “Quick to listen…slow to speak…slow to anger!”

Develop the discipline of stopping to think it through!

Another crucial lesson this story teaches is that our response is more important than the circumstances that cause the anger. The truth is, what happens to me is never as important as what happens in me. That what God is saying to Cain: “If you do what is right, you’ll be accepted…”  (Genesis 4:7) God doesn’t address the fairness or unfairness of what’s happened; he just says, “Cain, do the right thing!”

When situations arise that disappoints me, I can either unleash an emotional reaction or I can offer an intelligent response that honors my walk with God and releases his blessings in my life.

Finally, Cain’s story teaches us that we are accountable to God for our anger. When Cain fails to do the right thing and instead, murders his brother, God calls to him to account: “Where is your brother?” (Genesis 4:9-12)

What we must remember is that one day we will stand before God and give account for our lives, including the inappropriate display of our anger. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36 that on judgment day, we’ll be answerable even for every idle word we speak. We won’t be able to say on that day, “My wife made me do it…my husband pushed me too far…my kids drove me nuts…the devil made me do it…I was genetically predisposed to anger…” If we try that excuse, God will look at us and say, “I expected you to master it, and you didn’t.”

We’re accountable for anger!

Angry feelings are inevitable. We can’t escape them, but our anger doesn’t have to destroy the people we love—and in the process, cause our own spirits to shrivel. If we do the right thing with our anger, God says to us just as he said to Cain, “you will be blessed!”

Prayer… Father, thank you for making me response-able.  With your help, I will give diligent effort to master the emotion of anger and the sin that is crouching behind it so that I can turn it into a response that glorifies you and makes me blessable before you.  

Anger Management, Jesus Style

5×5×5 Bible Plan

Read: Matthew 21
Meditation:
Matthew 21:12-13

Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold doves. And He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’”

Shift Your Focus… This passage may blow your image of Jesus as the “Gentle Shepherd” right out of the water. I hope so! There were times that Jesus was good and angry—and not to be so would have been un-God like.

To be sure, Jesus loved people, and that love especially came through in his compassion for the poor, widows and orphans, the sick and infirmed, and those who were held captive to sin by Satan. He was a man of love and peace who called people to a lifestyle of love and peace.

But Jesus was no pushover. He had a large capacity for anger—righteous indignation—as we see here in this encounter with the moneychangers at the temple. Jesus didn’t go around trying to pick fights, but when he saw injustice, it really ticked him off.

What pushed his button in particular was seeing how religious authorities would turn what should have been the worship of God into a way to manipulate people for their own purposes. It bothered him greatly when spiritual directors stood in the way of the kindness of God reaching people in need, and when religious systems abused and enslaved people instead of ushering them into the abundance of God.

J. I. Packer, in his book, Your Father Loves You, writes of the many times Jesus’ anger flared at this sort of thing:

 Jesus went into the synagogue on the Sabbath and saw a man with a crippled hand. He knew that the Pharisees were watching to see what he would do, and he felt angry that they were only out to put him in the wrong. They did not care a scrap for the handicapped man, nor did they want to see the power and love of God brought to bear on him. There were other instances where Jesus showed anger or sternness. He “sternly charged” the leper whom he had healed not to tell anyone about it (Mark 1:43) because he foresaw the problems of being pursued by a huge crowd of thoughtless people who were interested only in seeing miracles and not in his teaching. But the leper disobeyed and so made things very hard for Jesus. Jesus showed anger again when the disciples tried to send away the mothers and their children (Mark 10:13-16). He was indignant and distressed at the way the disciples were thwarting his loving purposes and giving the impression that he did not have time for ordinary people. He showed anger once more when he drove “out those who sold and those who bought in the temple” (Mark 11:15-17). God’s house of prayer was being made into a den of thieves and God was not being glorified—hence Jesus’ angry words and deeds. Commenting on this, Warfield wrote: “A man who cannot be angry, cannot be merciful.” The person who cannot be angry at things which thwart God’s purposes and God’s love toward people is living too far away from his fellow men ever to feel anything positive towards them. Finally, at Lazarus’ grave Jesus showed not just sympathy and deep distress for the mourners (John 11:33-35), but also a sense of angry outrage at the monstrosity of death in God’s world. This is the meaning of “deeply moved” in John 11:38.

Any form of spiritual manipulation, control, abuse or neglect that prevents the goodness of God from reaching people, no matter what form it takes, or who is perpetrating it, doesn’t make Jesus very happy. Not then…and not now.

Religious leaders, televangelists, youth directors, or anyone who has spiritual influence over others, and uses that influence for their own financial gain, or to gain name recognition, or for sexual gratification, or simply to feed their own hunger for power, or who deliberately prevents the abundance of God he would pour out on his children will sooner or later have to stand before a just Jesus who is perfectly capable of anger. One day there will be an accounting for the mismanagement of spiritual authority—and it won’t be pretty.

Jesus, the Gentle Shepherd, the Prince of Peace, got good and angry over a few things. Maybe it is high time Christ followers got a little fed up with sin as well.

So if it is called for, go ahead and get angry. Just make sure you are good—literally—and angry.

“Anger is a divinely implanted emotion. Closely allied to our instinct for right, it is designed to be used for constructive spiritual purposes. The person who cannot feel anger at evil is a person who lacks enthusiasm for good. If you cannot hate wrong, it’s very questionable whether you really love righteousness.” ~David Seamands

Prayer… Lord Jesus, I want to have a heart like yours. Cause me to laugh over the things that make you laugh, weep over what breaks your heart, even to get angry over the kind of things that upset you. I want to live as you would if you were living in my stead.

Annoyed

Read: Proverbs 12:16
(The Message)

Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.

Experienced a little road-rage lately?  What do you do when some jerk cuts you off in traffic, then has the audacity to make an obscene gesture at you…like it was your fault for obeying the speed limit?  How about when a co-worker makes a critical comment about an idea you shared or when your spouse puts you down in front of others, or when one of your kids makes fun of the way you dress?  How do you react?

Is your immediate reaction to retaliate?  Or does the affront roll off you like water off a duck’s back? Here’s what Solomon says in Proverbs 12:16,

“A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”

We live in an age where we’re taught to stand up for our rights, defend ourselves, respond tit for tat, not let anyone intimidate us. In our culture, not to respond is taken as a sign of weakness.  But is it weakness, or wisdom, to overlook an insult?  Here are some other thoughts Solomon had on the subject:

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” ~Proverbs 16:32

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” ~Proverbs 29:11

“It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” ~Proverbs 20:3

If it is your habit to react and retaliate to a slight or an irritation, here are some steps you can take to gain control and begin to operate as a person of prudence in this area:

The first step is to take responsibility for your reaction.  If you are ever going to control your temper and process the anger in a way that pleases God, you’ve got to come to a once and for all understanding that you have a choice in how you respond.  You are response–able.

The second step is to get smart about your anger.  In other words, think your anger through.  The biggest enemy to uncontrolled, destructive anger is your ability to be rational, because destructive anger is stupid.  Psalm 4:4 says, “In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.”

The third step is to realize that most of what you get angry over just doesn’t matter. So evaluate what’s upsetting you by asking yourself if it’s really worth getting steamed up over.  Robert Eliot, professor at the University of Nebraska said,

“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff.  Rule number two is, it is all small stuff.”

The final step in the process is to determine to use your God-given anger capacity for positive growth in you and in your world. Romans 8:28 says, God works all things for our good.” That means even the stuff that makes you mad. Romans 8:29 reminds us that the ultimate good that God works in our lives is to make us more like Jesus.

So you can let stuff make you hot under the collar
or holy in your character.

God can take any and every situation that tempts you to react in anger and turn it for your good and his glory.  Try it; you’ll see!

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

This week, memorize and meditate on Psalm 4:4.

Anger Mismanagement—The Classic Case Study

Genesis 4:1-7:24

Anger Mismanagement—The Classic Case Study

The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what
is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching
at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.
Genesis 4:6-7

Go Deep: Proverbs 29:11 says, only “a fool gives full vent to his anger.”  How many times have you proved that platitude to be true?  If you’re like me, at least once, probably more!

The truth is, it is next to impossible to be angry and intelligent at the same time.  To be sure, some anger is good. Channeled anger has been the motivation for much of the justice and societal change that has benefited the human family over time.  Even the Bible indicates the appropriateness of righteous anger.  But—and this is a big one—only if the anger is wrapped in intelligent thought!

So the question is, how do we win out over anger, rid ourselves of it before it either corrodes or destroys our most significant relationships, and turn it into an emotion that propels us toward positive personal growth?

The story of Cain here in Genesis 4:1-14 is a great case study. Unfortunately for Cain (and for Abel!), anger was not brought under control.  But from Cain’s failure comes several anger management principles we would be wise to embrace.

To begin with, from Cain we learn that our very first response to the emotion of anger ought to be self-analysis.  In other words, whenever I find myself getting upset, I ought to stop and say, “What does this say about me?”  Notice how God attempts to get Cain to look within himself at the source of his anger:  “Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast?” In essence, God is telling Cain that before he reacts, he ought to reflect.

Our first and best response to anger is simply to think about it.  That simple action would keep us from so much of the hardship that results from our uncontrolled anger.  William Penn wrote, “It is he who is in the wrong who first gets angry.” In reality, anger reveals what kind of person I am—what is really in my heart, my true character.  C. S. Lewis said,

“Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is.  If there are rats in a cellar, you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly.  But the suddenness does not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding.  In the same way, the suddenness of the provocation does not make me ill-tempered; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.”

So if you find yourself reacting in anger, ask yourself what the presence of anger is saying about your spirit or your character.  Practice “slowing” …what James 1:19-20 says is being, “Quick to listen…slow to speak…slow to anger!”  Develop the discipline of stopping to think it through!

Another crucial lesson this story teaches is that our response is more important than the circumstances that cause the anger. The truth is, what happens to me is never as important as what happens in me. That what God is saying to Cain: “If you do what is right, you’ll be accepted…”  God doesn’t address the fairness or unfairness of what’s happened; he just says, “Cain, do the right thing!”  When situations arise that disappoint me, I either can unleash an emotional reaction or I can offer an intelligent response that honors my walk with God and releases his blessings in my life.

Finally, Cain’s story teaches us that we are accountable to God for our anger. When Cain fails to do the right thing and instead, murders his brother, God calls to him to account: “Where is your brother?” (Genesis 4:9-12)

What we must remember is that one day we will stand before God and give account for our lives, including the inappropriate display of our anger.  Jesus said in Matthew 12:36 that on judgment day, we’ll be answerable even for every idle word we speak. We won’t be able to say on that day, “My wife made me do it…my husband pushed me too far…my kids drove me nuts…the devil made me do it…I was genetically predisposed to anger…” If we try that excuse, God will look at us and say, “I expected you to master it, and you didn’t.”  We’re accountable for anger!

Angry feelings are inevitable.  We can’t escape them, but our anger doesn’t have to destroy the people we love—and in the process, cause our own spirits to shrivel.  If we do the right thing with our anger, God says to us just as he said to Cain, “you will be blessed!”

Just Saying… There are occasions, of course, when anger is appropriate.  But let’s be honest, that’s not very often.  Benjamin Franklin once said, “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”

Psalm 4: Anger’s Greatest Enemy

Read Psalm 4

Anger’s Greatest Enemy

“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.”
Psalm 4:4

You and I have a lot in common. Really! Not only are we incredibly intelligent, unbelievably likeable and unusually humble, we have a very large capacity for anger.

Have you noticed that lately? Did you find yourself snarling at someone who pushed your hot button this week? Did you experience any road rage, at least in your mind, when you were running late for that appointment and traffic just wasn’t cooperating with your timing? Did you wake up grumpy and snap at the kids or come home tired and verbally abuse your dog?

“No”, you say. Well, perhaps you are the one person on Planet Earth that had an anger-free week!

The truth is, we all experience anger. Anger is a God-given capacity that is common to the human race. But anger itself is not the problem. Both King David and the Apostle Paul taught that it was possible to “Be angry and not sin.” (see also Ephesians 4:26)

It’s when we mishandle anger—that’s the problem. That’s where families get unhealthy, relationships get fractured, jobs get lost, and damage gets inflicted. And the Bible is very clear that we had better learn to control and channel that anger appropriately or not only will we cause some irreparable damage in the here and now, but in the “there and then” we will stand before a righteous God to give account for our unrighteous anger.

“But I tell you anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” (Matthew 5:22)

Here in this psalm, King David described what is arguably the most effective way to manage anger. And what he is recommending is—get this—to practice the rare art of “thinking” when emotions begin to give rise to anger. Seriously, the best antidote to inappropriate anger is to simply think it through…to bring that emotional response of anger, which can be quite unintelligent, obviously, into the realm of the intelligent thought—where it can be appropriately channeled.

The biggest enemy to uncontrolled, destructive anger is your ability to be rational, because destructive anger is stupid. I use the word stupid because it leads you to hurt the very things you should be protecting and preserving. That’s why David’s answer for anger that doesn’t lead to sin was “when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” In other words, rather than venting, find a quiet moment, calm yourself, hold your tongue, count to ten, and allow your brain the opportunity to do what it does best—think!

So just what is it that you are supposed to think about when you are angry?

First, think about your anger’s potential destructiveness to the people you care about, and to yourself. As Proverbs 29:11 says, only “a fool gives full vent to his anger.”

Second, think about how Satan wants to use your anger to manipulate you for his purposes. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Just remember, every time you give vent to anger, you are opening the vent to Satan’s toxic vapors.

And third, think about the person you are angry with. And whatever else you do, remember that this person is someone who matters very much to your Heavenly Father. They are someone so loved by God that he sacrificed his Son’s life to redeem. They are someone that he has great plans for throughout all eternity. Think about that before you let any angry words fly—and remember that to damage them is to do damage to God.

Since thinking is the greatest antidote to anger, think for a while about what Proverbs 19:11 says: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is a glory to overlook an offense.”

And don’t forget what David said, “In your anger, do not sin!”

“Violence in the voice is often only the death rattle of reason in the throat.”
—John F. Boyes