God’s Higher Ways

Current Circumstances Give Way To Future Redemption

SYNOPSIS: Boaz was the father of Obed. Obed was the father of Jesse. Jesse was the father of David. And Jesus was the descendent of David—and Ruth. Ruth was a widowed, poor, gentile refugee, and an unlikely choice to be in a genealogical lineup that would lead to Jesus the Messiah. That God’s fondness of unlikely choices is also seen in the stories of the scheming Tamar, the harlot Rahab, the adulteress Bathsheba, and the young virgin Mary—all unlikely choices to be in a genealogical lineup that would lead to Jesus the Messiah. But God’s ways are above our ways, which means that 100 percent of the time, he is at work, perfecting his plan in everything that concerns us—even though we can’t see it.

Going Deep // Focus: Ruth 4:13-15, 21-22

So Boaz took Ruth into his home, and she became his wife…the Lord enabled her to become pregnant, and she gave birth to a son. Then the women of the town said to Naomi, “Praise the Lord, who has now provided a redeemer for your family! May this child be famous in Israel. May he restore your youth and care for you in your old age. For he is the son of your daughter-in-law who loves you and has been better to you than seven sons!” … Boaz was the father of Obed. Obed was the father of Jesse. Jesse was the father of David.

Boaz was the father of Obed. Obed was the father of Jesse. Jesse was the father of David. And Jesus was the descendent of David…and Ruth.

Ruth was a foreigner in Israel—a refugee really. She was of no account, a young Moabite widow who decided to throw in with her widowed mother-in-law Naomi, who was returning hat in hand to her own people in Israel. Naomi, and thus Ruth, had nothing. They would have to depend on the compassion of distant relatives for their survival. They were homeless, indigent, stuck in a cycle of bad news, and without much hope for the future. They had no offspring to even carry on their name.

Yet they were really good people; women of virtue. More than that, they were women who, unknown to them at the time, were a significant piece to God’s grand scheme to shape the future of the human race. They didn’t see what we now see. Even while God worked things out for them in the long run, they still died having no clue how significant their lives were.

One never knows what God is up to, but he is always up to something. He knows what he is doing; his ways are beyond ours. And they are perfect. What we can’t see at the time is that God is at work, perfecting his plan along with everything that concerns us (Psalm 138:8). We rarely see it in real-time, if ever, but we can trust him because he has proven himself trustworthy 100 percent of the time.

Strange how God works, isn’t it? What looks like a meaningless story at the time to us, or a hopeless story, God uses for his eternal purposes. What looks like B and C list actors in the plot, God’s long-term strategy turns them into major players in his plan for the ages. That is the story of scripture: the scheming Tamar, the harlot Rahab, the Gentile Ruth, the adulteress Bathsheba, and the young virgin Mary—all unlikely choices to be in a genealogical lineup that would lead to Jesus the Messiah.

And that will be your story, too—as well as mine. We will go to our graves without really knowing how God used our everyday faithfulness to accomplish eternal things. Someday we will; eternity will tell the story of God’s ways in our lives, but for now we can only offer obedience and trust, leaving the results up to the Great Director.

In my humanness, I wish I knew the end of my story from the beginning—and had creative input in how it was going to turn out. But that would actually limit the brilliance of the part I will play because God’s ways are infinitely greater, more creative, and brilliant than my mind could ever conceive.

God is writing my story, and yours, too, even as we speak. And believe me, my friend, it is going to be a doozy! Better yet, believe what the Bible says about it!

For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! (Isaiah 64:4)

Going Deeper With God: Thank God in advance for the great story he is writing about you!

Living Virtuously

Ruth-like Living in a Ruthless Culture

The Book of Ruth is a story for the ages, the account of a virtuous life. But more than just ancient history, it is a story that calls you and me to live today in the same virtuous way against the backdrop of a culture that is no better, perhaps even worse, than the culture which existed in the time of the Judges. What if we offered a Ruth-like life in the ruthless generation of which we are a part? Think of it: we could be the featured character in an incredible chapter of the God-story that is being written in anticipation of the final return of Jesus Christ. You never know, so keep offering up the bright light of a virtuous life in this darkened world.

Going Deep // Focus: Ruth 3:8-11

Around midnight Boaz suddenly woke up and turned over. He was surprised to find a woman lying at his feet! “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she replied. “Spread the corner of your covering over me, for you are my family redeemer.” Boaz exclaimed, “The Lord bless you, my daughter! You are showing even more family loyalty now than you did before, for you have not gone after a younger man, whether rich or poor. Now don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in town knows you are a virtuous woman.”

Virtuous—it is defined as moral excellence. It is to have values that are pure and then to live out those values with integrity in the way you think, in how you behave, and in the way you interact with others around you. Being virtuous is who God has created us to be and it is the way he has designed us to live. Imagine if everyone in your family, school, business, church, or community lived virtuously. You would experience a little bit of heaven on earth—if not a lot.

Unfortunately, virtuous living doesn’t characterize much of our culture these days. Virtue is not in vogue. We see that in the sensual, selfish, and shortsighted living of so many people, and the outcome of that approach to life is predictably painful. Our world is messed up. And the reason is similar to the reason society got so ugly in the book of Judges: people forgot God, chose to live without any controlling moral authority, and did what was right in their own eyes. (Judges 21:25)

Now, remember, the story of Ruth took place in that same time period. Ruth was a product of the time of the Judges. So this story of love, kindness, and redemption is even more spectacular given those dark conditions. And one of the reasons why Ruth is such a bright light is because she was so fundamentally virtuous. Again, notice Boaz’ response to Ruth’s efforts to honor her dead husband’s honor:

The Lord bless you, my daughter. This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.

Ruth was no gold digger. That becomes plainly evident as you read the whole story. She is fundamentally righteous, loyal, and sacrificial. And everyone knows it. Her private faith has become a public testimony. And because of that, Boaz noticed and was so touched by her godly, generous character that he was willing to take on a duty that would not necessarily make it easy on him. At the end of the day, Boaz married Ruth and her husband’s family lineage was redeemed. Moreover, God noticed, and because of her virtuous character, God carried on his family lineage through this non-Israelite woman. Yes, Ruth became the progenitor of King David and ultimately, the Son of David, the Lord Jesus Christ.

This is such a great story, yet it is far more. It is a story that calls you and me to live in the same virtuous way against the backdrop of a culture that is no better, perhaps even worse, than the culture which existed in the time of the Judges. What if you and I offered a Ruth-like life in the ruthless generation of which we are a part?

Think of it: we could be the main character in an incredible chapter of the God-story of redemption that is being written in anticipation of the final return of the Son of David, Jesus Christ. You never know, so keep offering up the bright light of a virtuous life in this darkened world.

Going Deeper With God: Ask God for the presence and power of the Holy Spirit today to enable you to live a virtuous life—a morally excellent character.

The Refugee Crisis is the Christ-follower’s Opportunity

Ministering to Migrants: The Hands and Heart of Jesus

SYNOPSIS: As a Christian, you have a much higher calling to current issues, and it is not national, it is eternal. It is to view all of life through the lens of scripture and to filter all that you think, feel, say, and do—or don’t—through the values of God’s kingdom. Case in point: what do you do with refugees that have flooded your city or are inundating your national borders? Of course, there is a rightful political and legal response, but the kingdom response that you embrace must always be redemptive. Boaz’s treatment of the immigrant Ruth is a foreshadowing of what God has done for you in Jesus. And what God has done for you should now be what you do for others, especially the most vulnerable. The refugee crisis is your opportunity to be God’s agent of redemptive lift!

Going Deep // Focus: Ruth 2:10

Ruth fell at the feet of Boaz and thanked him warmly. “What have I done to deserve such kindness?” she asked. “I am only a foreigner.”

Keep in mind that as you read scripture, there is always the historical context that you should seek to understand and the primary theological meaning that you should seek to apply. Beyond that, we can find profound and practical secondary applications within most, if not all, Bible passages. The book of Ruth is primarily a historical story that connects the time of the Judges to the arrival of the Davidic dynasty, and ultimately shows us the lineage of the Son of David, Jesus the Messiah. It is also a moving account of Boaz, who fulfills the Mosaic law of the kinsman-redeemer by marrying his deceased relative’s widow, Ruth. Boaz is an Old Testament type of Christ. Beyond that, this is a beautiful account of love, loyalty, and friendship between Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi and between Ruth and her prince charming, Boaz.

Yet there is still another practical application that is so relevant to our national discussion these days: what to do with refugees from the under-resourced world who flood Western Europe and North America. Like so many refugees today, Ruth was a Moabite who fled to Israel in order to survive unfortunate conditions in her homeland. Unfortunately, our national response to refugees fleeing their homeland to ours is not so much a discussion these days as politics have taken over, sides have been chosen, and opinions have been set in concrete. We no longer discuss the plight of the refugee, we scream at the other side. And all the while the refugee suffers the indignity of being forced from their home.

Of course, nations have laws that should be made and enforced. If they don’t, what good is government? And of course, as citizens of a free country, we should engage in political debate and feel free to express our opinion—hopefully with respect, in an informed way, and with an openness to hear opposing views. We need good laws to keep us safe and prosperous. If the rule of law goes by the wayside, so shall our nation.

Having said that, as Christians, we have a much higher and more eternal calling and it is not national, it is kingdom. It is to view all of life through the lens of scripture and to filter all that we think, feel, say, and do—or don’t—through the values of God’s kingdom. Case in point: what do you do with refugees that have flooded your city? Again, there is a rightful political and legal response, but what is the kingdom response that you and your spiritual community should embrace?

For me, and I think there is a very clear answer as we read and apply the story of Ruth and Boaz. Simply, we should act with compassion and kindness toward them. That is what Boaz did for Ruth. How so? Notice several ways that he responded redemptively with this refugee named Ruth:

  1. Boaz, at a base level, was aware and willing to engage. Ruth 2:5 says, “Then Boaz asked his foreman, ‘Who is that young woman over there? Who does she belong to?” He didn’t turn a blind eye to this destitute foreigner; he didn’t bury his head in the sand or pretend it was the Israeli government’s job to take care of her. He was morally curious.
  2. Boaz protected her. In Ruth 2:9, Boaz said to Ruth, “I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.” When people come from a foreign culture to our land, they are at their most vulnerable; they are likely to face unscrupulous people who would take advantage of them; they are likely to experience angry, hateful people who would say and do things to them that are unkind and discouraging.
  3. Boaz encouraged her. In Ruth 2:12, Boaz offered these uplifting words to Ruth: “May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.” If you have traveled to a foreign country, you know how vulnerable and helpless you feel, knowing neither language nor customs. Having a national speaking encouragingly in an authentically kind way is a life-giving gift to you. And it doesn’t cost the nation a cent!
  4. Boaz personally engaged in her plight. He did more than speak kindly and inclusively, he gave of himself and his resources: “At mealtime, Boaz called to her, ‘Come over here, and help yourself to some food. You can dip your bread in the sour wine.’ So she sat with his harvesters, and Boaz gave her some roasted grain to eat. She ate all she wanted and still had some leftovers.” (Ruth 2:14)
  5. Boaz went the extra mile. Boaz didn’t just do his duty; he went above and beyond the minimum to generously offer the maximum. Ruth 2:15-16 tells us, “When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, ‘Let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her. And pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up, and don’t give her a hard time!”

Boaz was truly a foreshadowing of the Redeemer, Jesus Christ. He expressed incarnational involvement, offered unmerited favor, showered undeserved kindness, gave unrequired inclusiveness, and expressed open-handed generosity. The point is, that is what God has done for you in Jesus. But the point is also that what God has done for you should now be what you do for others, especially the most vulnerable among you.

May you be an agent of redemptive lift in the refugee debate!

Going Deeper With God: Do you have an immigrant in your neighborhood. Show up at their doorstep with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Invite them over for a barbecue. Get engaged—that is what God did for you.

Industrial Strength Friendship

A True Friend Walks In When Everybody Else Has Walked Out

SYNOPSIS: In an age that worships individualism and is characterized by self-centeredness, intolerance, and exclusivity, the Book of Ruth invites us to offer the people in our lives these three essential strengths of a covenantal friendship: 1) A relationship that is founded on shared faith – “Your God will be my God.” 2) A relationship that is built on self-sacrifice – “Your people will be my people.” In other words, I will give up what I want to take on your concerns. 3) A relationship that holds together by mutual commitment – “Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.” What a powerful and covenantal bond. When a relationship is based on the non-negotiables of faith, sacrifice, and mutual commitment, it will not be a fair-weather friendship. May the Lord give us friends – and make us a friend – like that!

Going Deep // Focus: Ruth 1:16-17

But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”.

A popular genre of literature when I was in high school and college was the short story. I’m not too sure if it is used much in this day when 500-page novels dominate the market. But one of my favorite short stories was written by Stephen King—yes, he of horror story fame. But King wrote a non-horror short story called, The Body. It was later made into a movie with a new title, Stand By Me—a memorable story about a group of four or five twelve-year-old boys, and their outstanding friendship. The story revolved around their shared experiences, loyalty to one another, mutual protection from outside threats, and the growth of their friendship through adversity.

That’s the book of Ruth! It is one of the greatest short stories in the history of literature, and perhaps the greatest story ever about what I would call, industrial-strength friendship. When Benjamin Franklin was U. S. Ambassador to France, he occasionally attended the Infidels Club—a group that spent most of its time searching for and reading literary masterpieces. On one occasion Franklin read the book of Ruth to the club but changed the names in it so it would not be recognized as a book of the Bible. When he finished, their praise was unanimous. They said it was one of the most beautiful short stories they’d ever heard, and demanded that he tell where he had run across such a remarkable literary masterpiece. It was his great delight to tell them that it was from the Bible, which they regarded with scorn, and in which they felt there was nothing good.

The book of Ruth is certainly a literary masterpiece. It is a cameo story of love, devotion, and redemption set in the bleak context of the days of the Judges. Relationally, this story shows how its three main characters, Ruth, Naomi, and Boaz, all from different backgrounds, social levels, and ages blend their lives together to give us a relational example that is sorely needed today in an age that worships individualism and is characterized by self-centeredness, intolerance, and exclusivity. From Ruth’s story I would say are three essential strengths of a prevailing friendship:

First, it is a relationship where the greatest common denominator is faith in God. Notice the phrase in those verses: “Your God will be my God.” Faith concerns ultimate and eternal matters, and any friendship will be strongest when it has this ultimate concern at the core of its existence.

Second, it is a relationship built on sacrifice. Notice the words, “Your people will be my people.” In other words, I will give up what I want to take on your concerns. I will put your interests ahead of my own. I do what I can to make you better. I’ll give up in order to give to you. Not “I” but “you” makes for a far better “we”.

And third, it is a relationship that exhibits unbreakable mutual commitment. Did you catch the words, “Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates us.” What a powerful and covenantal bond. When a relationship is based on a non-negotiable like that, it will not be a fair-weather friendship.

Faith, sacrifice, and mutual commitment. May the Lord give us friends, and make us a friend like that!

Do you need a friend like that? Then ask God for one. I hear that he answers prayers, so give it a shot!

Do you already have a friend like that? Maybe you need to tell God how grateful you are for them…and then specifically express how grateful you are to that friend.

But perhaps the most important question is: Do you need to be a friend like that? Someone once asked this profound question: “If you were another person, would you like to be a friend of yours?” Which of the three qualities we’ve looked at in Ruth’s story do you need to cultivate? What do you need to do to become a better friend?

According to the little magazine, Bits and Pieces, a British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following: “One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable.” “One who understands our silence. A volume of sympathy bound in cloth.” “A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.”

But the winning definition simply read: “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” I like that, don’t you? That’s what I want to be.

Going Deeper With God: Lift a thanksgiving offering to the Lord for the friends he has given you. Then write those friends notes of gratitude and encouragement.

Stand By Me

Reflect:
Ruth 1:1-4:22

“But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!’” ~Ruth 1:16-17

A popular genre of literature when I was in high school and college was the short story. I’m not too sure if it is used much in this day when 500 page novels dominate the market. But one of my favorite short stories was written by Stephen King—yes, he of horror story fame. But King wrote a non-horror short story called, The Body. It was later made into a movie with a new title, Stand By Me—a memorable story about a group of four or five twelve-year old boys, and their outstanding friendship. The story revolved around their shared experiences, loyalty to one another, mutual protection from outside threats and the growth of their friendship through adversity.

That’s the book of Ruth! It is one of the greatest short stories in the history of literature, and perhaps the greatest story ever about authentic friendship. When Benjamin Franklin was U. S. Ambassador to France, he occasionally attended the Infidels Club—a group that spent most of its time searching for and reading literary masterpieces. On one occasion Franklin read the book of Ruth to the club, but changed the names in it so it would not be recognized as a book of the Bible. When he finished, their praise was unanimous. They said it was one of the most beautiful short stories they’d ever heard, and demanded that he tell where he had run across such a remarkable literary masterpiece. It was his great delight to tell them that it was from the Bible, which they regarded with scorn and derision, and from which they believed nothing was good.

The book of Ruth is certainly a literary masterpiece. It is a cameo story of love, devotion and redemption set in the bleak context of the days of the Judges. Relationally, this story shows how its three main characters, Ruth, Naomi and Boaz, all from different background, social levels and ages blend their lives together to give us a relational example that is sorely needed today in an age that worships individualism and is characterized by self-centeredness, intolerance and exclusivity. In particular, from Ruth’s relationship with her mother-in-law Naomi emerges three essential characteristics of an enduring and life-giving friendship:

First, it is a relationship where the greatest common denominator is faith in God. Notice the phrase in those verses: “Your God will be my God.” Faith concerns ultimate and eternal matters, and any friendship will be strongest when it has this ultimate concern at the core of its existence.

Second, it is a relationship built on sacrifice: Notice the words, “Your people will be my people.” In other words, I’ll give up what I want to take on your concerns. I’ll put your interests ahead of my own. What can I do to make you better? I’ll give up in order to give to you. Not “I” but “you” makes for a far better “we”.

And third, it is a relationship that exhibits unbreakable mutual commitment. Did you catch the words, “Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, it anything but death separates us.” What a powerful and covenantal bond. When a relationship is based on a non-negotiable like that, it will not be a fair weather friendship.

Faith, sacrifice and mutual commitment! Do you need a friend like that? Then ask God for one. I hear he answers prayers, so give it a shot!

Do you already have a friend like that? Maybe you need to tell God how grateful you are for them… and then specifically express how grateful you are to that friend. Benjamin Franklin said “we should be slow in choosing a friend, even slower in changing.” Why? Because a true friend is a rare treasure.

But perhaps the most important question is: Do you need to be a friend like that? Someone once asked this profound question: “If you were another person, would you like to be a friend of yours?” Which of the three qualities we’ve looked at in Ruth’s story do you need to cultivate? What do you need to do to become a better friend?

May God give us, and make us, that kind of a friend!

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” ~George Eliot

Reflect and Apply: According to the little magazine, Bits and Pieces, a British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. The winning definition simply state,: “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” If that is the kind of friend you would like to have, then be one.

Industrial Strength Friendship

Ruth 1:1-4:22

Industrial Strength Friendship

But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go;
wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will
be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.
May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything
but death to separate us!”
Ruth 1:16-17 (NLT)

Go Deep: A popular genre of literature when I was in high school and college was the short story.  I’m not too sure if it is used much in this day when 500 page novels dominate the market.  But one of my favorite short stories was written by Stephen King…yes, he of horror story fame.  But King wrote a non-horror short story called, The Body.  It was later made into a movie with a new title, Stand By Me—a memorable story about a group of four or five twelve-year old boys, and their outstanding friendship.  The story revolved around their shared experiences, loyalty to one another, mutual protection from outside threats and the growth of their friendship through adversity.

That’s the book of Ruth!  It is one of the greatest short stories in the history of literature, and perhaps the greatest story ever about what I would call, industrial-strength friendship.  When Benjamin Franklin was U. S. Ambassador to France, he occasionally attended the Infidels Club—a group that spent most of its time searching for and reading literary masterpieces.  On one occasion Franklin read the book of Ruth to the club, but changed the names in it so it would not be recognized as a book of the Bible.  When he finished, their praise was unanimous.  They said it was one of the most beautiful short stories they’d ever heard, and demanded that he tell where he had run across such a remarkable literary masterpiece.  It was his great delight to tell them that it was from the Bible, which they regarded with scorn and derision, and in which they felt there was nothing good.

The book of Ruth is certainly a literary masterpiece. It is a cameo story of love, devotion and redemption set in the bleak context of the days of the Judges. Relationally, this story shows how its three main characters, Ruth, Naomi and Boaz, all from different background, social levels and ages blend their lives together to give us an relational example that is sorely needed today in an age that worships individualism and is characterized by self-centeredness, intolerance and exclusivity. From Ruth’s story I would say there are three essential strengths of a prevailing friendship:

First, it is a relationship where the greatest common denominator is faith in God.  Notice the phrase in those verses:  “Your God will be my God.”  Faith concerns ultimate and eternal matters, and any friendship will be strongest when it has this ultimate concern at the core of its existence.

Second, it is a relationship built on sacrifice:  Notice the words, “Your people will be my people.”  In other words, I’ll give up what I want to take on your concerns.  I’ll put your interests ahead of my own.   What can I do to make you better?  I’ll give up in order to give to you. Not “I” but “you” makes for a far better “we”.

And third, it is a relationship that exhibits unbreakable mutual commitment.  Did you catch the words, “Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, in anything but death separates us.”  What a powerful and covenantal bond.  When a relationship is based on a non-negotiable like that, it will not be a fair weather friendship.

Faith, sacrifice and mutual commitment.  May the Lord give us friends, and make us a friend like that!

Do you need a friend like that?  Then ask God for one. I hear he answers prayers, so give it a shot!

Do you already have a friend like that?  Maybe you need to tell God how grateful you are for them… and then specifically express how grateful you are to that friend.  Benjamin Franklin said “we should be slow in choosing a friend, even slower in changing.”

But perhaps the most important question is: Do you need to be a friend like that?  Someone once asked this profound question:  “If you were another person, would you like to be a friend of yours?”  Which of the three qualities we’ve looked at in Ruth’s story do you need to cultivate?  What do you need to do to become a better friend?

According to the little magazine, Bits and Pieces, a British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend.  Among the thousands of answers received were the following: “One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose  honesty is inviolable.”  “One who understands our silence.  A volume of sympathy bound in cloth.”  “A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.”

But the winning definition simply read:  “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”  I like that, don’t you?  That’s what I want to be.

Just Saying… Speaking of friendships, George Eliot expressed it this way:  “Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”