Meditations

Read Proverbs 1

The Attainment Of Wisdom

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”
Proverbs 1:7

Nobody sets out in life to be a fool. No kid ever says, “You know, when I grow up, I want to be an idiot!” As far as I know, there has never been a college student who majored in stupidity (although some parents may wonder). We are just not geared that way. Have you noticed the booming market for self-help books and personal coaching? Just about everybody wants to improve their lot in life and will spend countless hours and untold dollars to educate themselves in order to have a better shot at successful living.

But wisdom doesn’t reside in do-it-yourself manuals or personal coaching programs. Wisdom isn’t even found in the classroom or in the university library. The true book of wisdom, the Bible, says wisdom starts with “the fear of the Lord.” That is the key. Solomon says the beginning of the process for gaining knowledge, living wisely and being successful begins with the fear of the Lord. What does it mean to fear the Lord?

So just what does that mean? Well, what it doesn’t mean is to huddle in the corner in abject terror of the Almighty. Only those who have no relationship with God do that. Only those who have a jaded or limited view of God live in that kind of fear. Only those who are, in fact, enemies of God, are the ones who rightly cower in terror, at least in their minds, when they give serious consideration to God.

The fear that Solomon is talking about is simply a loving reverence for God. It is respect that evidences itself in submission to God’s will, obedience to his Word, awe of his great power and love for who he is. That is what it means to fear the Lord.

That kind of healthy fear leads us to grow in knowledge—the absorption of God’s Word. It keeps us from living as fools—one who is morally deficient and lives with no regard for God. It allows us to develop wisdom—the correct application of Biblical truth. And it causes us to appreciate discipline—that which moves us to say no to temporal pleasures and immediate gratification in order to grow in wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

Do you desire to be a wise person? Understand, then, that the attainment of wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. And the fear of the Lord recognizes that wisdom comes from God. God is true wisdom and the source of all wisdom. And God will give wisdom to all who fear him.

Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the Lord gives wisdom.”

Why not ask him today for some of it!

______________________

“Christ is the wisdom of God; and in the knowledge of this Christ there is wisdom for you. Not wisdom only, but life, forgiveness, peace, glory, and an endless kingdom! Study Him! Acquaint yourself with Him! Whatever you are ignorant of, be not ignorant of Him. Whatever you overlook, overlook not Him. What ever you lose, lose not Him. To gain Him is to gain eternal life, to gain a kingdom, to gain everlasting blessedness. To lose Him is to lose your soul, to lose God, to lose God’s favour, to lose God’s heaven, to lose the eternal crown!”
—Horatius Bonar

“Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1)

Thoughts… If I were writing this Proverb today, I would add fame to the mix alongside riches. Fame and riches are the twin gods at which our culture now bows to pay homage. People want to be rich and famous, and would do just about anything to get both.

Have you noticed how quickly people are to appear on TV news to talk about some unfortunate event that has befallen their family? I was stunned not too long ago when a mom and dad paraded their teenage son in front of the cameras to talk about the many years he had been held hostage by a child molester. Or how about young women who are willing to take their clothes off to get on TV? Do we have a “Miss America” pageant anymore where at least one of the contestants is exposed, no pun intended, for having racy photos circulating on the Internet? What about all the “tell all” books that come out after some aid leaves the service of a well-known politician? And then there are the ubiquitous lawsuits—people suing at the drop of a hat over some slight or offense from which they intend to extort a large sum of money from a perceived cash cow.

It seems that far too many people today are famous for being famous…or famous for being bad, which is perceived as good since the results justifies means.

The Bible says rather than being famous for being wealthy (or being bad or even being famous), we ought to pursue good character, and allow our reputation to grow for that reason alone. God doesn’t care how much money we have or how many people know us. When we stand before God someday—and someday will be sooner than we expect—our lives will be evaluated on the character we forged during our years on earth. If we were known for charity, kindness, generosity, humility, and the like, that, along with love for God will count. Everything else will evaporate in the presence of the One who sees into our lives with utter moral clarity and judges with eternal finality.

As you get older, it is easy to pick on young people and point out all their flaws (which I’ve heard is proof you’ve gotten old), but I am especially alarmed at today’s youth culture and its obsession with fame and wealth. Ask today’s youth what they want to do with their lives, and far too many of them speak of the kinds of things that will bring them celebrity, and all that goes with it, rather than that which will actually add value to and better the world. How sad…and disturbing. And they alone are not to blame; some of that has to fall at the feet of their parents.

I think it is high time that parents once again begin to teach their children that reverence for God, sterling moral character, and sacrifice for the good of humanity rather than fame and wealth are what lead to a good life. Parents need to wean their children off the negative influence of this corrosive media culture—and that will be quite a challenge in this day and age—and begin to pour into their lives the eternal values of the Kingdom rather than the fleeting values of this world.

I am grateful for my own father, who taught me from my earliest years on, values that are best captured by this profound little poem he often quoted,

Tis one life will soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last!

That pretty well sums it up, wouldn’t you say!

Prayer... Lord, I want to keep my eyes on you today. May all the temporal things of this earth fade from view as I look fully into your wonderful face. Help me to expend my life only on those things that will stand for eternity. Give me grace and strength to bring even more fame to your exalted name in all that I do and in everything that I am. Amen.

One More Thing… “The real measure of our wealth is how much we should be worth if we lost our money.” —J. H. Jowett

“The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” –Proverbs 10:9

Food For Thought… The old adage states, “honesty is the best policy.” For many of us, that value was taught from the very beginning in our homes. And over the years, whether we were living it out or suffering the consequences of violating it, we found that practicing honesty always resulted in what was best for us. Honesty wasn’t always the easy road to travel…in fact, sometimes being honest had some unpleasant short-term consequences. But in he end, telling the truth always proved to be right.

The Watchman Examiner once reported that when Henry Clay was about to introduce a certain bill in Congress, a friend said, “If you do, Clay, it will kill your chance for the presidency.” “But is the measure right?” Clay asked. And on being assured it was right said, “I would rather be right than be president.” That is the kind of character we all admire!

Proverbs calls it being a person of integrity. Integrity is a word that is talked about a great deal in our society. But just what is it? The dictionary defines it as fidelity to moral principles; honesty; soundness; completeness. A great working definition of integrity is who you are when no one is looking.

Consider these insights that shed further light on character and integrity:

A famous Malay Proverb states, “A precious stone; though it falls into the mire, does not thereby lose its brilliance.”

Phillips Brooks, a nineteenth century clergyman said, “Character is made in the small moments of our lives.”

Macaulay said, “The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do, if he knew he would never be found out.”

The word integrity comes from the word integer, which refers to a whole number. It is being a whole person. It means there is a congruence between what you say you believe and how you actually live. It is the marriage of what you say and what you do.

And God’s wisdom from Proverbs says that living as a person of integrity has the priceless benefit of security: The man of integrity walks securely. Or, as the Message says, “Honesty lives confident and carefree.” When you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.

Not so with the one who has concealed or manipulated the truth. Security is the last thing they will enjoy. Their lives will be racked with guilt, anxiety, and fear of exposure. And in the end, Proverbs says they will be found out.

Integrity…honesty…wholeness! What a tremendous way to live. The person who values and practices integrity will live with confidence, no matter what. They can expect to live under the blessing and favor of God. They will be unburdened by the pending doom of dishonesty. And at the end of their lives, they will be able to look back on a life that was characterized by wisdom and success.

But not only will their own lives benefit from integrity, their impact will be felt all around. Here are several other consequences of the honest lifestyle:

One, they will be a powerful example for their children of the blessings of honesty. Their kids will not only hear that honesty is always the best policy, they will see why it is so. A powerful example will be set for the kind of lifestyle they will want to emulate.

George Munzing, a minister, tells of a time he went to counsel a family about their son’s drug use. The father was distraught as he described the impact of drugs upon his relationship with his son. He said, “The thing that bothers me most about his being into drugs is the fact that drugs have made him a liar.” Moments later the phone rang and his wife went to answer. She came back into the room with the message that the call was for the father. He told her, “Tell him I am not at home.” Munzing then commented that drugs had not made the boy a liar; the father had.

Two, they will exert a forceful and effective witness on a watching world that tends to gray the lines between black and white. Friends, co-workers and onlookers will be drawn to that kind of wholeness, and even enemies will ultimately have to acknowledge the upstanding life of the virtuous person.

John Maxwell, in his book, Becoming a Person of Influence, writes, “When the people around you know that you’re a person of integrity, they know that you want to influence them because of the opportunity to add value to their lives. They don’t have to worry about your motives.” (Pp. 26-27)

Three, a life free from deceit and manipulation will prevent the devil from gaining a foothold. In Ephesians 6:13-14, Paul says putting on the belt of truth is the first and foremost foundational piece in armoring up for our spiritual battle with Satan. In wrapping ourselves in truthfulness, we will be able to take our stand against his onslaught and in the end, when it is all said and done, we will still be standing.

Integrity! It’s not always the easy way. It’s not always the way that will bring approval and popularity. But in the end, it is the only way to live. As some wise person has rightly stated, “Character is a victory, not a gift.”

Prayer... “Father, you are the God of all truth. Help me from this day forward to live as a truthful person, no matter what the consequences. May my life shine as an example of integrity for all to see, reflecting the one who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

One More Thing…  “No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character.”  —John Morely

“If you say, ‘But we knew nothing about this,’ does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?” (Proverbs 24:12)

Food For Thought… In a past issue of Bits and Pieces Magazine, a list was given of the Ten Most Used Excuses. It went like this:

1. I forgot.
2. No one told me to go ahead.
3. I didn’t think it was that important.
4. I’ll wait until the boss comes back and ask him.
5. I didn’t know you were in a hurry for it.
6. That’s the way we’ve always done it.
7. That’s not in my department.
8. How was I to know this was different?
9. I’m waiting for an O.K.
10. That’s his job–not mine.

The fact is, we’re pretty good at making excuses. Any parent knows that our bent toward shifting responsibility starts out very early on in our children (wonder where they see it modeled?). And we continue it all the way through our school years (The dog ate my homework…but you didn’t tell us the test would be today”) right into our adult lives (“I’m this way because of my parents…I have post-traumatic stress disorder…but officer, I didn’t know the speed limit was 30…).

We come by it pretty naturally, I think. Our propensity to make excuses and shift blame goes all the way back to the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve fell. When God confronted Adam, he blamed Eve, and God, by extension (The woman you gave me, she made me eat it…”), and Eve blamed the devil (The serpent deceived me…”) And from that point on, scape-goating became the national pastime of the human race.

But it is a dangerous thing we do when we make excuses. It is extremely counterproductive to our emotional, intellectual, relational, physical and spiritual health. Why?

• It reduces us to chronic victims
• It is dishonesty in its base form
• It postpones growth and healing
• It gives the devil a stranglehold on our lives
• It invites the judgment of God
• It fails to deal with the real problem

Proverbs 24:12 in the Living Translation reads this way:

“Don’t try to avoid responsibility by saying you didn’t know about it. For God knows all hearts, and he sees you. He keeps watch over your soul, and he knows you knew! And he will judge all people according to what they have done.”

What is Solomon trying to tell us? Own up to things in our lives that go sideways! Don’t shift the focus when things are wrong. We know where the blame lies…and God knows we know. And if we continue in the pattern of irresponsible behavior, the spiritual consequences will be severe: God’s punishment will be upon us.

What would Solomon have us to do? Three things:

Number One: Make the Connection. When something goes wrong, figure out the real reason why!

In Discipleship Journal, the story is told of the manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder’s performance that he ordered him to the dugout and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad hop and hit the manager in the mouth. The next one was a high fly ball, which he lost in the glare of the sun – until it bounced off his fore-head. The third was a hard line drive that he charged with outstretched arms; unfortunately, it flew be-tween his hands and smacked his eye. Well, the manager was so furious, he ran back to the dugout, grabbed the center fielder by the uniform, and shouted, “You idiot! You’ve got center field so messed up that even I can’t do a thing with it!”

That’s like a lot of people…they’ve never made the connection between cause and effect relationships.

Number Two: Refuse To Blame. Simple as that…just resist the human tendency to find a scapegoat!

In the Christian Reader, Lillian Holcomb speaks of telling her two grandsons a Bible story, then ask-ing if they knew what the word sin meant. Seven-year-old Keith spoke up: “It’s when you do some-thing bad.” Well, four-year-old Aaron’s eyes widened. “I know a big sin Keith did today” Keith turned in annoyance to his little brother and said, “You take care of your sins, and I’ll take care of mine.”

And that’s pretty good advice. That’s what Jesus was saying when he talked about taking care of the log in your own eye before you try to get the speck of dust out of your friend’s eye.

Number Three: Take Personal Responsibility. Become a student of your mistakes…learn from the things life throws your way and choose to grow through them!

Don Shula, the legendary former coach of the Miami Dolphins, in his book Everyone’s A Coach, tells of losing his temper near an open microphone during a televised game with the Los Angeles Rams. Millions of viewers were surprised and shocked by Shula’s explicit profanity. Scores of people started sending letters from all over the country, voicing their disappointment in this coach who had been known for his integrity.

Shula could have given excuses, but he didn’t…he was a real stand up guy! Everyone who included a return address received a personal apology. And he closed each letter by stating, “I value your respect and will do my best to earn it again.” Shula gained the respect of just about everybody by doing that. And he demonstrated one of the most profound truths about personal character and spiritual growth: When you fail, don’t make excuses. Own up to it, deal with it, and move forward!

So when something unpleasant comes your way, identify the source of it, learn from it, get over it, and get on with it. Make your personal mantra the phrase: NO EXCUSES! And if you do, you’ll be well on the way to having the life you’ve always wanted.

One More Thing… “The only exercise some people get is jumping at conclusions, running down their friends, sidestepping responsibility, and pushing their luck.” -Arnold Glasow

“The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just than when we off him sacrifices.”  (Proverbs 21:3)

Food For Thought:  Over and again the thought captured in this proverb is repeated throughout Scripture—so many times so that it is readily apparent that this is a big deal, a very big deal, to God.  In fact, we might say, the truth contained in this proverb is the main thing.  And apparently the writers of Scripture needed to repeat it so often because God’s people—and by extension, you and I—have a habit of forgetfulness when it comes to keeping the main thing the main thing.

The prophet Samuel said it this way to Saul in I Samuel 15:22, “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord. To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”

The psalmist put this very concept into a moving song of repentance in Psalm 51:16-17, “You do not delight in sacrifice or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

The prophet Micah wrote, “He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Another prophet, Amos, delivered the same message in the form of a stinging rebuke to God’s people, “I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies.  Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them…Away with the noise of your songs!  I will not listen to the music of your harps.  But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream.” (Amos 5:21-24)

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for neglecting the main thing: “Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!  You give a tenth of your spices…but you have neglected the more important matter of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness.”  (Matthew 23:23)  And to his very own church in Ephesus who forgot to keep the main thing the main thing, Jesus had this to say:  “I know your works…yet I have this against you: You have left your first love.” (Revelation 2:2,4)

I could go on and on with verse after verse that tells the same story, but I think you’ve got the picture.  A heart that is in tune and in love with God is not best revealed in sacrifice or giving or fasting or feastings or busy effortfulness.  It is revealed in obedience to God, in actions of righteousness toward our fellow man, and in a motivation of love for our Lord in all that we do.

That is the main thing.  Keep it the main thing.  That’s what pleases God!

Prayer:  Dear God, loving you is the main thing, and it is my heart’s desire to do that very thing every moment of my existence.  Help me not to lose sight of love’s high call, because that’s what I am prone to do.  Keep me loving you first, only and always in my thinking life, in my relational world, and in the use of my life’s energies.  May that be the defining mark of how I lived when I reach the end of my earthly journey—that I loved you with all my heart.

One More Thing… “The first mark of a disciple is not a profession of faith, but an act of obedience.” —Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:3)

Food For Thought: Have you ever been guilty of that?

• Have you ever overspent, or exercised poor financial management, or purchased something that you couldn’t afford, then blamed God for a bank account that won’t pay the bills or allow you any breathing room?

• Have you been guilty of neglecting devotion to God—Bible reading, prayer, worship, regular church attendance—then wonder why God doesn’t seem to speak to you or answer you in times of distress?

• Have you withheld the Lord’s tithe, then blamed God for the loss of a job, or unhappiness in your vocation, or a rotten work environment?

• Have you been undisciplined in eating, sleeping and exercise patterns, then disappointed with God that he doesn’t cure a physical challenge?

• Have you ever allowed negative personality traits to remain unchecked then wonder why God doesn’t give you close friends or why you can seem to sustain a dating relationship or why God doesn’t bring a mate into your life?

Raging against God or blaming anybody other than yourself is dangerous! Why? Because it’s counter-productive to personal growth, it reduces you to a victim, and it will ruin the life God wants you to have. Read the verse again: “A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord.”

Notice 2 key words. The first one is the word ruin. In the Hebrew, salap, means to distort, twist, or pervert. It means to twist the facts or distort reality, and it leads to clouding one’s ability to think clearly. If we are in the habit of casting blame against God, or anybody else for that matter, instead of being personally responsible for our own actions, the verse says we’ll have twisted thinking. We’ll lose touch with what’s really going on.

The second word is the word rages, in Hebrew, za ep, which carries the idea of fuming or storming. It was used to describe breathing hard or blowing, as a storm blows in and rages. Blame shifting leads to the kind of twisted thinking that causes one to rage unreasonably against the wrong object. In this case, people storm against God when they ought to be mad at themselves.

How can we avoid the trap of making excuses and blaming God and others and falling into the victim syndrome? Four things:

Number One: I must exercise discernment. In other words, I must develop the skill of making the connection between cause and effect. When something goes wrong, I need to figure out the real reason why!

Did I play an active role in this happening to me? Was there a passive part I had in opening myself up to this circumstance? Would this have happened no matter what?

The story is told in Discipleship Journal of the manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder’s performance that he ordered him to the dugout and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad hop and hit the manager in the mouth. The next one was a high fly ball, which he lost in the glare of the sun—until it bounced off his forehead. The third was a hard line drive that he charged with outstretched arms, but it flew between his hands and smacked his eye. Well, the manager was so furious, he ran back to the dugout, grabbed the center fielder by the uniform, and shouted, “You idiot! You’ve got center field so messed up even I can’t do a thing with it!”

A lot of people are like that—consistently unable to make the connection between cause and effect relationships.

The Living Translation of Proverbs 19:3 says, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.” When things go wrong, figure out the cause and see how you contributed to it. Even if you had nothing to do with it, how did you respond to it? Many times it’s our poor response to outside forces that ruins our lives. You can’t always control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them!

Number Two: I must refuse to blame. Simple as that…just withhold this human need to find a scapegoat! In the Christian Reader, Lillian Holcomb speaks of telling her two grandsons a Bible story, then asking if they knew what the word sin meant. Seven-year-old Keith spoke up: “It’s when you do something bad.” Then four-year-old Aaron’s eyes widened. “I know a big sin Keith did today.” Keith turned in annoyance to his little brother and said, “You take care of your sins, and I’ll take care of mine.”

That’s pretty good advice. That’s what Jesus was saying when he talked about taking care of the log in your own eye before you try to get the speck of dust out of your friend’s eye. “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.” Matthew 7:1-2 (The Message)

Number Three: I must accept responsibility. Become a student of your mistakes…learn from the things life throws your way and choose to grow through them! One evening some college students spread limburger cheese on the upper lip of a sleeping fraternity brother. Upon awakening the young man sniffed, looked around, and said, “This room stinks!” He then walked into the hall and said, “This dorm stinks!” Leaving the dormitory he said, “The whole world stinks!”

The key to avoiding the victim trap and growing in your character is when you fail, don’t make excuses. Own up to it, learn from it and move forward! King David is such a marvelous example of taking responsibility, growing, and being better because of personal failure: “Against you alone have I sinned…purify me from my sins…then I will teach your ways to sinners.” Psalm 51:4,7,13 (Living Translation)

Number Four: When something bad comes my way, I must be willing to let it go. In other words, if I want to avoid living life as a victim, I need to build a bridge and get over it. If I want to grow through all my experiences, then I’ll have to let God do his job by letting go of my hurt and my need to cause hurt to those who have hurt me.

It takes real trust to turn those things over to God, but he is in the business of turning bad into good and failure into growth.

The classic example of this is in Genesis, where Joseph languished in prison because of the evil of his brothers. When finally given the opportunity to exact revenge, Joseph gave this incredible reply: “Am I God, to judge you? As far as I’m concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil.” (Genesis 50:19-20, Living Translation)

It is not God’s plan for us to live as victims. Painful circumstances that are brought on from either uncontrollable outside forces or because of our own doing are real opportunities for God to work in our lives. It all depends on our response. Will I blame, seek revenge, hold grudges…or will I trust, learn and grow?

Legend has it that a long time ago, a king placed a boulder on a road. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Wealthy merchants and noblemen came by and simply walked around it, blaming the king for not keeping the roads clear. But none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came to the rock, carrying a load of vegetables. He put down his burden and put his shoulder to the stone, and after a great effort, he pushed it to the side. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse in the road where the boulder had been. It was full of gold coins and a note from the king saying that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to enrich one’s life and every disappointment is a chance to build a bridge to God’s blessing.

Prayer: Lord, help me today to accept full responsibility for the mistakes that I have made and the courage to make the changes that will lead to your favor. Give me an understanding mind that I might comprehend the relationship between cause and effect in my life. And when things go wrong that are beyond my control, remind me that my response to those circumstance is much more important than the circumstances themselves. Help me to do right in every situation and be pleasing to you.

One more thing… A good question to ask yourself is, “What kind of world would this world be if everyone were just like me?” You are an open book telling the world about its author.

“He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 18:12; 15:30-33)

Food For Thought: When I was in my early adult years, a friend of mine once received what I perceived was some unfair criticism. My encouragement to him was to consider the source and reject the criticism outright. But he wisely said to me, “I think on this one I will chew up the meat and spit out the bones.”

In other words, he believed there might be an element of truth in the painful things that had been said to him. There was possibly something here that could help sharpen him. Or at the very least, there would be in his response to this situation, an opportunity for him to learn and grow. He had embraced the spirit that Heinrich Heine talked about when he wrote, “He only profits from praise who values criticism.”

His wise response revealed my own immaturity that day. I would have reacted harshly, (Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”), proudly (Proverbs 15: 33 says, “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor”) and defensively (Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel”)…and I would have missed an opportunity to honor God’s Word and grow in God’s wisdom. My estimation of this friend grew that day. And over the course of his adult life, he has proven to be a great man.

What Solomon is teaching in these verses about the personal growth, wisdom and honor that can come through humbly receiving a rebuke is counter-intuitive to our natural response to correction. Our tendency is to react defensively and reject the criticism as irrelevant and unwarranted. Usually we get hurt, we hardened our heart, and we return their words correction with harsh words of our own.

And when we do, we reveal something about ourselves…namely, our immaturity.

If we listen to Solomon’s advice, however, we will discover there is always an opportunity to grow in wisdom, understanding and honor through a humble response to the hard lessons that life sometimes brings our way. Proverbs 15 teaches us how we can humbly embrace correction and turn it into an opportunity to grow in honor:

First, we need to be quick to hear. Verse 31 begins with these words, “He who listens to a …rebuke.” The failure of some people is to quit listening when they find themselves being rebuked, corrected or even challenged. But Solomon says the wise person will tune in rather than tune out when they hear things that are personally unpleasant.

Second, we need to look for the positive in the rebuke. Solomon calls it “a life-giving rebuke…” (v. 31). We need to be open to the possibility that within the criticism is an element of truth that can keep us from harmful behavior in the future. Sometimes we will experience life-draining criticism from people who, perhaps, are speaking out of their own issues and don’t have our best interests in mind. But before we reject their words, we need to look for life-giving nuggets of truth.

Third, we need to reflect on the alternative to rejecting rebuke outright. Solomon talks about the danger of brushing aside valid criticism when he says, “He who ignores discipline despises himself…” ( v. 32) When we make a practice of seeing the truth or the good in criticism, then the consequences of rejecting it becomes a lot less attractive.

Fourth, we need to consider rebuke as God’s tool to sharpen our lives. Solomon says “…whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (v. 32) He then says “the fear of the Lord teaches wisdom.” (v. 33) Solomon is saying that criticism can be a great teacher, a tremendous source of understanding. A person of understanding will see the criticism not just as coming from a human mouthpiece, but from the Lord himself.

The New Testament writer of Hebrews says it this way,

“The Lord disciplines those he loves, and punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live. Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12: 5 –11)

Benjamin Franklin captured the essence of both the Proverb and the teaching of Hebrews when he said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.”

And fifth, we need to cultivate humility. Solomon taught that “…humility comes before honor.” (v. 33) There is no way we can take a rebuke with a right spirit without humility being a characteristic of our lives. Humility is what disciplines us to hold our tongue and not respond with anger. Humility is what enables us to see the long-term benefits that may be hidden in the criticism. Humility is what enables us to turn unfair and unwarranted criticism, and the person who delivered it, over to God’s care.

Humility receives, pride reacts. Humility responds wisely, pride explodes with defensiveness. Humility makes rebuke a growth opportunity, pride shuts the door to a life-giving experience.

When we handle criticism well, we gain understanding and wisdom, and at the end of the day, honor and a life of distinction await us.

One More Thing… Norman Vincent Peale once pointed out, “The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

Prayer: Lord, teach me to be quick to listen, slow to anger and slow to speak. Help me to develop a humble spirit so I might look for opportunities to grow and be sharpened through the difficult things that are said to me. My tendency is to react too quickly, too humanly. But I want to be one who responds to all things as if they were coming from you. Amen.

“A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.” (Proverbs 18:9)

Food For Thought: Sloth was one of seven sins identified by early Christians that became known as the “seven deadly sins.” However, sloth, or laziness as we would call it today, has caught a break. We don’t often think of it as a deadly sin. It’s more of an irritating habit. Perhaps we’d go so far as to think of it is a character flaw in someone’s life. Though laziness is not a particularly ingratiating habit, it certainly doesn’t rise to the level of sending someone to hell.

But the writer of this proverb used some pretty strong words in describing the lazy person. He says they are as bad as someone who destroys something—perhaps because they are destroying the opportunities that God has placed before them to steward their talents, to produce beauty, to add value to this world, and to leverage their one and only life into something that glorifies their Creator.

Other translations of the Bible render the lazy person in this proverb in a similarly bad light: They are as like someone who commits vandalism (The Message), a troublemaker (Contemporary English Version), one who commits suicide (Amplified), a destructive personality (Good News), and a great waster (The 21st Century King James…a version I didn’t even know existed!). Anyway, I think you get the picture. A lazy-bones is not simply someone who has a little issue with diligence, they’ve got a major league problem with Creator God!

Now you may be wondering what this verse has to do with you. If you’re reading this post, you’re probably not a lazy person. The very fact that you made the effort to log on and read it means you have at least a modicum of diligence flowing through your veins. My guess is you are like most of the people I know: Type-A, hard-working, fast-paced, borderline workaholic, make-it-happen kind of person…right?

But I don’t think Proverbs is just talking about the out and out lazy person who won’t lift a finger to do anything. I think the deeper message here maybe hits closer to home than you might imagine. I suspect the writer may also have in mind someone whom I would call a selective sluggard.

Truth is, you may be doing fine in 9 out of 10 areas of your life. And you may think, “That’s great …I’m batting .900 and that would be considered outstanding by anyone’s standards—and I don’t even use steroids!” ” But Solomon would tell you that it’s that one area left unattended that can destroy you…it’s the 10th item in your 9 out of 10 life that you let slide that’ll get you every time.

I have a friend who was on a flight from Denver to Chicago several years ago. On that trip, as the plane flew over Iowa, the tail rotor exploded and disintegrated. And as pieces of the rotor blew apart, it severed the hydraulics line…the plane was completely without hydraulics. That had never happened before…the pilots had no training for that kind of emergency. Ultimately, and quite miraculously, they steered the plane to an airport in Sioux City, where they attempted to land. Unfortunately, they came in too fast and at the wrong angle, and the big jet cartwheeled down the runway, breaking apart as it went. Sadly, many people died, but amazingly, even more survived, including my friend.

What was interesting was that in the investigation of the crash, it was discovered that a microscopic crack in the tail rotor, invisible to the naked eye, led to this massive hydraulic failure and the tragedy that followed. Just a small crack, but ultimately, it proved to be deadly.

We may have just a small chink in our armor, but that can be our fatal flaw. We might be okay in 9 out of 10 areas, but it’s that 10th area where we may be allowing sluggardliness, or sloth, or laziness, to exist, and if we’re selectively slack in that 10th area, it’s very possible that our lives could be ultimately ruined, or at best, short-changed from what God wants us to experience.

As you read through Proverbs, you will discover several ways in which we can slide into selective sluggardliness. Let me suggest a few of these 10th areas—see if one of these describes you:

One way is when we deny reality. Proverbs 19:15 says, “Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.” Proverbs 20:4 & 13 tells us, “ A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing. Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare.”

The writer is painting a picture of one who is out of touch with what’s going on in his or her life; who pretends problems don’t exist, who is oblivious to reality, who just kind of ignores what needs to be done. That’s what we call denial. And the problem with denial is that it blinds you to your own weakness. That’s why you need to have people in your life whom you will allow to call out that 10th area, because we all tend to drift into denial in areas where we are unaccountable.

Refuse to live in denial!

Another way we fall into selective sluggardliness is when we postpone responsibility. We become what I’d call “someday people,” as in, “I’ll deal with that…someday!” That’s the operative word in their lives: Someday! It’s called procrastination. Proverbs 6:9-11 paints a picture of the one who puts off dealing with reality:

“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.”

Proverbs 10:4-5 says, “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son”

That reminds me of a poem written by Gloria Pitzer:

Procrastination is my sin; it brings me nothing but sorrow.
I know that I should stop it; in fact, I will—tomorrow.

Perhaps procrastination is your 10th area. Maybe you ‘re putting off having that tough conversation…taking those first uncomfortable steps toward growth and change…waiting for the right time…thinking, “I’ll get to it tomorrow.” Richard Evans says, “The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

Refuse to be a someday person!

Yet another area of selective sluggardliness is when we make excuses. I can’t do anything about this…it’s not my fault. My mom and dad did this to me…they were unfair to me at work…my spouse just doesn’t understand me…I just never catch a break…I don’t know what to do about this? These kind of people always have an excuse for not taking the initiative to deal with that tenth area.

Proverbs 22:13 says, “The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion outside!’ or, ‘I will be murdered in the streets!’” In other words, this person is building a case for inaction by offering flimsy excuses. Their operative phrase is “It’s not my fault.”

Refuse to be an excuse maker!

And the final area of selective sluggardliness that Solomon address is full on laziness. We’ve just resigned ourselves to living without initiative in that tenth area. Proverbs 19:24 says, “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he will not even bring it back to his mouth!

The mantra of this kind of lazy person is “I really don’t care…there’s nothing I can do about it.” Frankly, they’re just slothful and have no plans to address issues in their lives. They are willing to co-exist with that 10th area and as a result, live with less than God’s best.

Refuse to resign to that 10th area in your life!

So, what if you’ve identified your 10th area and you want to do something about it? Where do you begin? Proverbs 6:6-8 and 30:25 gives some simple but sage advice. Solomon tells us if we want to get motivated and stay motivated, all we need to do is follow the example of one of the tiniest yet most enduring creatures on God’s green earth—the ant. Look at the ant and consider it’s ways, he says:

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest… Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer.”

Proverbs says what we need to do, if we lack initiative in any area of our lives, is enroll in the ant academy. And here are the lessons the ant will teach us:

The first lesson is the ant needs no outside motivation. Verse 7 says it has no commander, overseer or ruler—there’s no drill sergeANT—standing over it barking out orders to do this or that. There’s just a God-given, built in motivation to do what needs to be done. You have that same motivation mechanism. May it’s time for you to crank it up and get going!

The second lesson is the ant just knows what to do. Verse 7 doesn’t say that there’s a lead ant, a savANT, as it were, making sure to clearly spell out for the other ants what they ought to do. They just instinctively provide for their needs and prepare for the future. It ia highly likely that you’re 10th areas doesn’t need a lot of analysis. You don’t need to keep waiting for someone to provide you with some deep, profound insight on what you need to do. This ain’t rocket science.! The truth is, you already know what needs to be done.

That leads to the third lesson: The ant just does it. Verse 8 tells us they just go about gathering and storing. There’s a job to be done and they just get it done.

Then there’s a fourth lesson that the ant teaches in Proverbs 30:25. That verse says that “ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer.” The ant doesn’t make excuses for it’s lack of size or strength, it doesn’t compare itself to other creatures who are better equipped, it just takes advantage of what it has and maximizes it’s potential.

Like the ant, you have everything you need to get going in that 10th area of your life, God has made sure of that. The question is, “will you?” I hope you will! I hope that beginning right now, you’ll identify your area of selective sluggardliness… take the initiative by asking God for his strength and wisdom to help you deal with it…and then, just get busy and make it happen. Don’t settle for 9 out of 10 in your life…God deserves you to be a 10!

Prayer:  God, help me today to do everything in my power to take advantage of everything you’ve done in your power to make me a fully empowered child of the King!

One More Thing… Ken Blanchard writes, “The thinking that got you where you are today will not get you to where you need to go.”

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” (Proverbs 17:22)

Food For Thought: We love our rights! In fact, one of our most treasured national documents is called the Bill of Rights. We’d fight to the death for these rights…the right to free speech, to bear arms, to own property, to worship according to the dictates of our conscience….the right to choose between Pepsi and Coke, to have our steak well-done, medium or rare, to drive a Ford or a Chevy, to vote Republican or Democrat. And right at the top of our list of treasured rights is the right to be happy: The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

If you were to ask 10 people what they wanted out of life, it’s likely that 9 of them would mention happiness somewhere close to the top of their list. And if you were to ask them what it would take to be happy, their anwers would typically fall into these categories:

• Money. Most people believe they are just a few more dollars away from happiness. Some years ago, U.S. News & World Report ran a study on the elusiveness of money in achieving the American dream. The study reported that households with incomes under $25,000 would need $54,000 a year to achieve the American dream. And those who made $100,000 would need $192,000. In other words, when money is involved, the American Dream is always twice the distance away.

• Possessions. A lot of people believe that if they had a nicer home, a more expensive car, the latest designer clothes, the newest, coolest techno-gadgets, they’d be well on their way to happiness. You’d think garage sales would dispel that notion forever!

• Power. Some people believe that having a prestigious job, or a life in the spotlight, or the admiration of the masses is the key. It seems like celebrity is the god we worship these days, and far too many people would do just about anything, and I mean anything, to get their fifteen minutes of fame.

• Relationships. And then there are those who think that having friends, or a spouse, or a different spouse, or to be able to have kids, or just to get the kids out of the house will make them happy.

But no matter how we define happiness, the fact is, most people never achieve it. As Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz said, “Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children and by children to adults.”

A recent opinion poll found that only 20% of Americans consider themselves to be happy. What’s odd about that is that we’re living in a time when we make more money, have more things, have greater opportunity to attain influence, exert personal power, and can surround ourselves with any number of relationships, and yet we’re unhappier than ever.

That begs the question: Is happiness possible? Should we even pursue happiness? Does God want us to be happy? Is a cheerful heart even possible, or was the writer of Proverbs just teasing us?

My answer to that is, yes, happiness is possible. I just think we’re looking in the wrong place for it. I would suggest we go back to God’s “user’s manual for life,” the Bible, to discover what true happiness really is and how to get it. God’s Word has a lot to say about it, and we would do well to start our pursuit of happiness by pursuing what the Bible reveals about it.

Now there isn’t enough room in this blog to adequately cover God’s truth on the subject, so let me just get to a bottom line for what it takes to be a happy person and to live a happy life. Ecclesiastes 2:26 sums it up pretty well:

“To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness.”

We can learn a lot about happiness from this one little verse. From it, obviously, we discover that happiness is possible. We also learn that God desires to give it. Furthermore, we can extract from the verse the definition of happiness: Pleasing God. What is happiness? It is living my life in such a way that I bring a smile to God’s face. Not only that, we learn that it’s okay to desire it, to pursue it, since God gives its. And finally, the verse teaches us how one can go about attaining happiness, and it’s very simple: By reordering your life to please God.

There you have it! Do you want to be happy? Live your life to please God. Do you want to be happy today? Then today, reorient your life to please God. Do you want to be happy right now? Do what pleases God: Repent of your sin. Invite Christ into your heart as Lord of your life. Share the Good News with someone who doesn’t know Christ. Reject impurity for a life of holiness. Begin to honor God with your money. Take on the attitude of a servant—help someone who cannot repay you. Start forgiving the people who have hurt you. Stand up for the poor and defenseless.

In a nutshell, put God’s kingdom first in everything you think, say and do, and he will add all the ingredients that go into making a happy life…best among them being the joy of the Lord.

Prayer: Lord, today I want to please you in every way…in what I do, in what I say, even in every thought that flows through my brain. Help me to put your kingdom first in everything. Through every detail of my life, may your kingdom come, may your will be done just as it is in heaven. And I would ask you to give me a double portion of the wisdom, knowledge and happiness that your Word promises. Amen.

One More Thing… “A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy, and nothing can stop him. (Alexander Solzenitsyn)

“He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise.” –Proverbs 11:29

Food For Thought: Rudyard Kipling once wrote about families, “all of us are we—and everyone else is they.” A family shares things like dreams, hopes, possessions, memories, smiles, frowns, and gladness…A family is a clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual respect. A family is shelter from the storm, a friendly port when the waves of life become too wild. No person is ever alone who is a member of a family. (Quoted from Fingertip Facts )

One of the greatest gifts God gives a man is a family. The truly wise man will continually recognize the incredible worth of those God has placed in his care, and lovingly guide, develop, protect and provide for them until his dying day.

What a tragedy when a man brings trouble on the very ones he has been assigned to keep safe. He is what Proverbs calls a fool. Not only is he tragically hurting those who depend on him for safety and security and health and happiness, he is actually destroying himself. The Message translates our opening verse this way:

“Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air; common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live.”

That verse probably brings to mind the alcoholic or drug addicted man who ruins his family through physical violence, emotional mistreatment, or even sexual abuse…the kind of unfaithful, out of control, raging, shiftless father whose wife and children would probably be better off without him. But is that the kind of dad Proverbs says brings trouble on his family? I would suggest any man has the potential to exploit, abuse or bring trouble on their family in some not so immediately apparent ways. Here are some for instances:

MODELING: Some men ruin their families by not living a life that is worth following. They do not provide an example of integrity, diligence, discipline or godliness for their children.

Dr. L. E. Brown, Jr., in “Five Ways to Become a Powered-up Dad” suggests, “Fathers pass a great many things on to their children besides the shape of their noses or the color of their hair. God has built into fathers the power to build a heritage. This power can be positive or negative. We can pass on anger or alcoholism, or we can transmit a godly heritage.” He goes onto say that, among other things, a father can be a great example for his family in the following six ways:

1. By developing a fatherhood mission statement. Like a CEO without a strategic plan, a dad without a mission is unlikely to succeed. A fatherhood mission statement will help you set priorities that will direct your decisions and activities.
2. By getting involved. A mission statement isn’t enough. You need a plan of action. If you’ve purposed to put your family ahead of business, you’ll make opportunities to take the kids out for bike rides or out for ice cream, to really listen to them, and to observe their words and emotions.
3. By showing his children affection. A father’s regular expressions of affection release love into their children’s emotions and reassure them of his love.
4. By being a role model. Though all parents get frustrated with children’s behavior, we must realize that children mirror our conversation and actions. “Father power” is more effective when we change ourselves before we try to change our children.
5. By equipping his children spiritually. By establishing the disciplines of worship, prayer, and Bible study in your own life, you’ll be prepared to integrate these into teachable moments with your children.
6. By blessing his children daily. The power of a father’s blessing cannot be overestimated.

NEGELECTING: How does a father neglect his family? The most obvious way is by not spending an appropriate and consistent amount of time with them. Someone has said that a parent’s love is spelled T-I-M-E. Giving time to his children demonstrates a man’s priorities.

The lack of attentiveness to children’s needs by fathers has produced great changes in the American home. Fathers spend an average of only 38 seconds a day being totally attentive and 20 minutes being partially attentive to their children’s needs. Study after study connects these changes with the rising teenage suicide rate, which has tripled in the last 20 years, the increasing incidence of delinquent behavior, and the rise of viloent crime among young people.

James Dobson cited a university study showing that fathers of preschool children on the average spend 37.7 seconds per day in real contact with their youngsters. By contrast, the study indicated that children watch television approximately 54 hours per week. And we wonder who has the greater influence!

Several years ago one study revealed that “parents rate their inability to spend enough time with their children as the greatest threat to the family. A survey conducted for the Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Corp., 35 percent pointed to time constraints as the most important reason for the decline in family values. Another 22 percent mentioned a lack of parental discipline. While 63 percent listed family as their greatest source of pleasure, only 44 percent described the quality of family life in America as good or excellent. And only 34 percent expected it to improve. Despite their expressed desire for more family time, two-thirds of those surveyed say they would probably accept a job that required more time away from home if it offered higher income or greater prestige.

But not only are families neglected through a lack of time, there are some other, less obvious areas of neglect that can occur. Perhaps it could be through allowing unhealthy influences to penetrate the family. It could be that failing to set boundaries is an evidence of neglect. Or by not providing for the emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical needs of the children. Or maybe neglect happens in not giving the children the physical affection…the loving touch of a dad that is a crucial element to their emotional and relational well-being.

IRRITATING: Some fathers bring disaster to their children by picking on them, nit-picking every little move they make, criticizing their efforts, and in general, exasperating them through over-discipline. In Ephesians 6:4, the Apostle Paul warns, “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.” (The Message)

EXPLODING: Finally, many a father destroys his family through uncontrolled anger. How sad when a father is known by his children for his explosive temper. Perhaps his communication with them is characterized by yelling, screaming, raging and otherwise creating an environment of fear. And not only does inappropriate anger bring trouble on a man’s family, it is ultimately self-destructive. When a father becomes inappropriately angry with his family, he has failed to protect them, violating one of the basic requirements in his job description. He has failed to protect them from himself. Inappropriate anger leads a father to hurt the ones he loves; it wins out over intelligent parenting; it fails to provide safety and security. When anger wins, love loses.

But when Dads do fathering well, they can make more of a difference in the life of their child than our culutre gives them credit for! Christian family therapist John Trent shared two letters given to him by a third grade teacher—the letters were part of an assignment her students completed. (The words are unedited for spelling, grammar, and punctuation:

Dear Dad, I love it when you take me on dates! I like it when you play baseball with me, miniature golf with me, and watch movies with me. I really aprisheate it! I like it when you tell jokes to me. I like it when you hug me and kiss me. Daddy, I love you!

The teacher said that just four seats away from the first letter writer sat another little girl. Here’s what her letter said:

Dear Daddy, I love you so much. When you are going to come see me agen? I miss you very much. I love it when you take me to the pool. When am I going to get to spend the night at your house? Have you ever seen my house before? I want to see what your house looks like. Do you? Whand am I going to get to see you agene? I love you, Daddy.

One letter is from a child whose father knows what it means to be there. The second is from a child whose father, for whatever reason, has chosen not to be there.

If you are a dad reading this blog on this Father’s Day, make a fresh commitment to being the kind of dad who knows what it means to be there!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, you have shown us what it means to be a great father. You are loving and patient. You are kind and compassionate. You always protect and provide. You sacrifice and serve. You are faithful and true. Now I pray that you would enable me to model from my family your character. Help me to provide my family with a glimpse of you by the way I father. Lord, if there is one thing that I would ask you to bless and grant me success in, it is in being the kind of man you intend me to be…and the kind of man my family deserves. Help me to be a great father is my prayer on this Father’s Day. Amen.