Category Archives: Personal Growth

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Viewer Discretion Is Advised

Learn to T.H.I.N.K. Before You Decide, Speak, or Act

SYNOPSIS: How many lives have crashed and burned by a lack of discretion? How many careers have been ruined by an absence of understanding? How many marriages have failed and families imploded because of poor judgment? How much potential evaporated because someone did not make wise choices? Here’s a sobering exercise: Go back to your high school yearbook and take note of the wreckage of far too many people who squandered one opportunity after another simply by failing to exert discretion. Here’s the deal: God has given you a wonderful gift—the ability to choose wisely. Simply exercising discretion today will keep you from disaster tomorrow. I trust that you will use that gift to its fullest potential.

Discretion is Advised

Moments With God // Proverbs 2:11

Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

Harry Emerson Fosdick, the well-known preacher of a hundred years ago, wrote, “He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end.” The ability to choose the right road is what discretion is all about.

The dictionary defines discretion as sound judgment and the power to decide rightly. It is the ability to judge right from wrong and choose what is wholesome from what is harmful. Solomon, one of the wisest men who ever lived, tells us that discretion—the power to choose plus the decision to choose wisely—is one of the main ingredients to wisely navigating the sometimes rocky and often dangerous course on the journey of life.

How many lives have crashed and burned by a lack of discretion? How many careers have been ruined by an absence of understanding? How many marriages have failed and families imploded because of poor judgment? How much potential evaporated because someone did not make wise choices? Here’s a sobering exercise: Go back to your high school yearbook ten, twenty, or thirty years after your graduation, and chances are you will see the wreckage of far too many people who squandered one opportunity after another simply by failing to exert discretion.

As noted, the practice of discretion, or the lack thereof, tells much about who we are and the places we will go in life. Listen carefully to the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one makes.” She goes on, as does Solomon in Proverbs 2, to place the responsibility of exerting discretion and making wise choices squarely at our feet: “And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” (Tim Kimmel, Little House on the Freeway, 143)

God has given you a wonderful gift—the ability to choose wisely. Simply exercising discretion today will keep you from disaster tomorrow. I trust that you will use that gift to its fullest potential. The choice is yours!

Now, the question you likely want to ask me is, “How can I nurture discretion in my life?” Or, “how can I help my child learn to use discretion as they grow into their teen and young adult years?” Well, I would say, first of all, that prayer never hurts. Ask God for it. James 1:5 exhorts, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Beyond that, I think the THINK method ought to be a mental checklist we use and teach our children to use throughout the day. I am not sure who came up with this simple formula, but it is good. Before you decide, speak, and act, first THINK:

  • T – true: ask, “Is this true?”
  • H – helpful: ask, “Will this help me and others?”
  • I – inspiring: ask, “Will this inspire people to greater heights?”
  • N – necessary: ask, “Is it necessary for me to do this?”
  • K – kind: ask, “Will  those around me receive this as kindness?”

Train yourself—and your children—to THINK first, and your family will be known for its discretion.

Take A Moment: Ask someone who knows you well and has observed you over the years to evaluate your life in the areas of wisdom and discretion. Ask for their honest opinion and be ready to hear their answers. Be even more prepared to take immediate action if changes are appropriate. Additionally, interview someone known for discretion, and ask them to share their formula.

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The Divine Eye Of The Satanic Storm

The Greatest, Safest, Most Satisfying Place in the World

SYNOPSIS: Where is the greatest, safest, most satisfying place in the world? In the very center of God’s will, that’s where! So why not move there — ASAP. And here is a prayer that is a great first step in making the move in that direction: “Father, not my will, but yours be done!” Have you come to that place where you can surrender what you prefer to what God wills? When you can so entrust your life to the Father’s perfect plan — no matter what that means for you — you will have discovered, as Jesus did, the Divine eye in the midst of every Satanic storm. And that is the greatest, safest, most satisfying place in the world!

The Center of God's Will

Moments With God // Matthew 26:39

Jesus went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Where is the greatest, safest, most satisfying place in the world for you and me? In the very center of God’s will, that is where! That is why praying, “Father, not my will, but your will be done.”

When we can learn to not only pray but earnestly desire God’s will for our lives—unpleasant and undesired circumstances notwithstanding—then we will have discovered what Jesus knew all along when he prayed that prayer on the very night he was betrayed: that he was in the Divine “eye” of the Satanic storm.

Jesus desired his Father’s will more than anything else—even life itself. He knew his purpose in life was to fulfill God’s plan: To redeem a lost world by his sacrificial death. He entrusted his own personal preferences to the One who not only works out all things for his own glory but for the good of his children as well. (Romans 8:28) That is why Jesus, whom Hebrews 12 calls, “the author and finisher of our faith,” looked at the cross with great joy. That is why he heroically endured this ghastly assignment. That is why he even despised the shame of hanging upon that cross like a death-row inmate. For Jesus knew that the path to the crown was by way of the cross. Now, he has arrived and is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Have you come to that place where you can surrender what you prefer to what God wills? When you can so entrust your life to the Father’s perfect plan, no matter what that means, you will have discovered, as Jesus did, the Divine eye in the midst of every Satanic storm. And that is the greatest, safest, most satisfying place in the world!

Take a moment to absorb how Hebrews 12:1-3 says it:

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [Jesus and others who heroically fulfilled God’s will], let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.

Are you struggling with God’s will? Does it seem a little too much to handle? Keep your eye on Jesus! Consider what he went through! For if you endure your cross now, then afterward comes the crown!

Before he was martyred by the Naizis, German pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in a letter from prison, “Much that worries us beforehand can afterwards, quite unexpectedly, have a happy and simple solution… Things really are in a better hand than ours.”

Did you catch that? Things are in Better Hands!

That’s why Jesus’ prayer, “Father, not my will, but yours be done,” is a really good prayer for you to pray. Your life—unpleasant and undesired circumstances notwithstanding—is in better hands than yours.

And after your cross, if you endure by doing the will of the Father, comes the crown.

Take A Moment: Why not pray this prayer over your life before you go out for the day? “Father, not my will, but yours be done!”

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A Promise Made Is A Promise Kept

God’s Got All Your Concerns Covered

SYNOPSIS: Do you have either a nagging concern distracting you or an overwhelming burden pulling you down? The good news is there is a promise in the Bible that covers all your concerns and burdens: “God will perfect everything that concerns you.” (Psalm 138:8, NKJV) Did you catch that? EVERYTHING! So fulfill your end of the promise: take your concerns to God in prayer, obey what he tells you to do, trust his loving care and complete competence to meet the need, then stand on his promises. You see, with God, a promise made is a promise kept.

Moments With God // Focus: Joshua 21:45

Not a single one of all the good promises the Lord had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true.

What a great verse! Toward the end of the Book of Joshua, after Israel had conquered their enemies and had taken possession of their promised land, Israel’s brilliant commander, Joshua, made this declaration: not a single one of God’s promises remained unfulfilled. What an amazing testimony about God’s faithfulness. But more than just a significant piece to ancient Israel’s historical record, the author of the book, inspired by the true Author, God, included this line so that you and I would know that since he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, this will be our experience with God as well.

A certain Bible scholar pointed out that God has made over 6,000 promises to us in the Bible  Some of those promises are universal in nature—all believers anytime and anywhere who are walking in obedience to his commands can claim them  Other promises are quite specific to certain people at certain times, and the Holy Spirit reveals them to us through prayer and the study of God’s Word in response to situations that arise in our lives.

Whether God’s promises are universal or personal, what we are taught repeatedly in the Bible, including this verse in Joshua, is that God is a promise maker, and more importantly, God is a promise keeper  The fact is, God has never broken a promise—not even one  I can’t say that about me, and you probably can’t say that about you, but we can say that with complete certainty about God  With him, a promise made is a promise kept.

When I was a little kid in Sunday School, we would often sing a song about God’s promises that went something like this:

Every promise in the Book is mine
Every chapter, every verse, every line.
I am standing on his Word Divine,
Every promise in the Book is mine!

Over 6,000 promises—and he will bring every single one of them to pass  Here are just a few of those 6,000 promises that are for you  Upon which one will you “stand” today and every day until God fulfills it in your life?

  • That he will forgive all your sins  (Psalm 103:3)
  • That he will supply all of your needs  (Phil 4:19)
  • That he will never leave you or forsake you  (Heb 13:5)
  • That he will give you Divine wisdom for your lack of human understanding  (Jas 1:5)
  • That he will turn all of your circumstances to your good and for his glory  (Rom 8:28)

What is your area of concern  A promise covers it, so look it up in God’s Word  Fulfill your end of the promise—that’s the big caveat here—and then rest in God’s proven character  What is your end  Pray, obey, trust, and stand  Do that, and you can plant your feet firmly in the certainty of God’s Word because a promise made is kept with him.

Yes, you can expect that “God will perfect everything that concerns you.” (Psalm 138:8, NKJV)

Take A Moment: Are you “standing” on a specific promise  Are you praying, asking God to fulfill it  Are you offering him a life of obedience in your attitude and actions  If not, why not  Don’t leave any of those 6,000 promises on the table  Your Father wants to fulfill them in your life.

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Trophy Wife

She Deserves A Trophy Husband

Synopsis: As a Christian man, if you desire the wife of noble character that Proverbs 31 describes – the truest kind of trophy wife, not because of her physical beauty and charming personality, but because of her godly virtues – then work on growing as a man of character. She will grow in response to the growth in godliness she sees in you. But even if she doesn’t, you are accountable to God to be that kind of man anyway.

Moments With God // Proverbs 31:10

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Most red-blooded American men want a trophy wife. And every man deserves one! Oh, not the kind you may be conjuring up in your mind right now—the kind hot babe Hollywood has invented—with the aid of cosmetic surgeons, make-up artists, and photoshop, of course.

The one I am referring to is the kind of woman Proverbs 31 talks about. She is a trophy gal not because she has a hot bod, but a holy character. Guys, that is a longer-lasting and infinitely more rewarding kind of woman than the carefully coiffed and cosmetically crafted woman our sensual and selfish culture promotes. The culture-built woman’s looks have a shelf life of only so long, and while you are enjoying her looks, if she doesn’t have a godly character to sustain her, those looks probably won’t be that pretty after all!

If you have a woman of noble character, like me, you are a blessed man indeed. I am doubly blessed with a woman of both beauty and grace. If you are looking for a trophy wife, take my advice: Set your sites on noble character above all else. As Proverbs 31:30 says,

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Now if the wife you have, in your opinion, is not a Proverbs 31 woman, here is what I would suggest: Begin to treat her as if she were, and watch what God will do. And as he is working on her, be the man of noble character she deserves.

And if you are in a serious dating relationship, make sure your soon-to-be trophy wife will have a sugar daddy husband in you. Not the kind you are thinking, but the kind the Bible calls you to be: a man of pure and noble character himself. What kind of husband is that?

  • He offers her a character that is morally pure: “your name [which represents character] is like perfume poured out [refined from all impurity].” (Song of Songs 1:3)
  • He desires to know her, talk to her, and listen to her: “Husband, dwell with your wife with understanding way.” (1 Pet 3:7 NKJV)
  • He refuses to control and pressure her into what he wants her to be: “Honor her, delight in her.” (1 Pet 3:7, Message)
  • He serves and sacrifices for her: “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.” (Ephesians 5:23, Message)
  • He loves her just as Christ loved his bride, the church: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” (Eph 5:23, NIV)

As a husband, if you will work on growing in those areas, your wife’s noble character will grow in response to the growth she sees in you. Even if she doesn’t, you are accountable to be that kind of man anyway.

And if you are not yet married, work on being that kind of man. And if you will do that, you will not be able to keep the ladies away—the right kind of ladies!

Take A Moment: If you are a wife, develop a set of growth points from Proverbs 31. If you are a husband, develop your set from Ephesians 5:25-33.

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Check The Dipstick

From the Abundance of the Heart

SYNOPSIS: Engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear. Control your thinking and you’ll control your speaking. Control your speaking and you’ll control your whole life. And the best way to control your thinking is by consistently and prayerfully filling your mind with the Word of God. What goes into your mind, gets into your heart, and what gets into your heart, comes out of your mouth. So don’t just watch your mouth—for sure, do that—but “above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Prov 4:23)

Check The Dipstick

Moments With God // Matthew 12:34 & 36

How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.

Just think of your heart as the reservoir and your tongue as the dipstick. If you want to figure out what is in the tank, or how much is there, just listen to what you say and you’ll get a pretty accurate picture of the true you.

The Bible uses the term “heart” to describe the inner person. The word “mind” could easily be substituted for “heart”, but it is more than that. The heart is not only your thinking part, but also your attitudes, desires, dreams, ambitions, personality—the invisible stuff that gives life to your skin and bones and makes you uniquely you. The heart is the inner capacity to know, love and respond to God.

The tongue, or what you say, simply reveals what already exists in your heart. Your words are critically important, and as Jesus said, you will be held to account for them, even the off-the-cuff ones. Yet it is not so much the words you speak, it’s what is behind them that is truly important. That is why you can’t simply discipline your tongue—though that is not a bad idea. It is your heart that needs to be transformed. If you don’t, your speech will ultimately betray what is on the inside.

A person with a harsh tongue has an angry heart; a negative tongue comes from a fearful heart; an overactive tongue springs from an insecure heart; a boasting tongue is from a prideful heart; a filthy tongue comes from an impure heart; a person who is critical all the time has a bitter heart. On the other hand, a person who is always encouraging has a joyful heart. One who speaks gently has a loving heart. Someone who speaks truthfully has an honest heart.

So what’s the solution to managing your mouth? I like what Lloyd Ogilvie, former Chaplain of the United States Senate says, “you’ve got to heart your tongue.”

That means, to begin with, you’ve got to get a new heart. Mouth control begins with a heart transplant. Ezekiel 18:31 says, “Rid yourself of all the offenses you have committed and get a new heart and a new spirit!” Painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well. I can change the outside, and turn over a new leaf, but what I really need is a new life or a fresh start. I need supernatural surgery from the Great Physician.

How do I get one? David prayed in Psalm 51, “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” Maybe you ought to pray that prayer right now because God is in the heart transplant business. Ezekiel 36:26 says of God, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Then once God gives you a new heart, ask him for help every day. You need supernatural power to control your tongue. You can’t do it alone. Your life is living proof of that. That’s why we’ve got to daily ask God to help us. In Psalm 141:3, the psalmist prays, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

That’s a great verse to memorize and pray every morning: “God, muzzle my mouth. Don’t let me be critical or judgmental or harsh today. Don’t let me say things that I’ll regret.” If you ask God for help, he will.

Finally, master your mouth by disciplined thinking. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In other words, engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear. Control your thinking and you’ll control your speaking. Control your speaking and you’ll control your whole life. And the best way to control your thinking is by consistently and prayerfully filling your mind with the Word of God.

What goes into your mind, gets into your heart, and what gets into your heart, comes out of your mouth. So don’t just watch your mouth—for sure, do that—but “above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Prov 4:23)

Takes A Moment: Memorize Psalm 141:3, “Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.” Then pray this prayer morning, noon, and night for the next seven days: “God, muzzle my mouth. Don’t let me be critical or judgmental or harsh today. Don’t let me say things that I’ll regret, but only things that will please you!”

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Get With It!

Just Do It Already

Synopsis: Proverbs reminds us that motivation is a holy thing; it is a state of being that will energize you to do the hard—but right—thing. And, as we see throughout Proverbs, the Lord highly values and honors it. One of my favorite motivational gurus, the late Zig Ziglar, said, “Motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.” I agree: Just do it already! And Walt Disney gave us some free advice that we would do will to apply to our own lives: “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” So, what is one area in your life in which you would need up your motivation game? Identify it, and my friend, just get after it! Again, quit talking and do it already!

Get With It

Moments With God // Proverbs 26:13-15

Loafers say, “It’s dangerous out there! Tigers are prowling the streets!” and then pull the covers back over their heads. Just as a door turns on its hinges, so a lazybones turns back over in bed. A shiftless sluggard puts his fork in the pie, but is too lazy to lift it to his mouth.

Motivation! It is one of the major themes in Proverbs—praising those who have it and admonishing those who do not. Proverbs does not offer an intricate explanation for why people are not motivated, or a detailed plan for how they can get motivated. It just says they need to build a fire in their life and get with it.

Speaking of motivation, I love the story of the guy who worked the swing shift in a factory, and every night when he walked home from work after dark, he would go a great distance out of the way just to avoid a cemetery that was smack dab in the middle of his route. One night, wanting to save some time, he worked up the courage to walk through the graveyard>. Well, lo and behold, it wasn’t so bad after all! So, he started walking right through the cemetery every day, to and from work.

However, on one of his walks home, a fresh grave had been dug right in the path he now walked by habit, and he fell into a deep, dark, damp open grave. For some time he scratched and clawed trying to climb out called—to no avail—so he then started calling out for help, but it became apparent that he was going to get neither help nor out of his tomb. So, he sank down into the bottom of this pit, pulled his coat up around his ears and prepared for a long night until the grave diggers came the next morning and could help him out.

After some time had passed, another man came down the same path, and he too, fell into the open grave. The first guy just sat there with a smile on his face watching this second guy, who was so preoccupied with getting out that he didn’t notice the first guy.

After a while, the second guy grew tired and he, too, gave up his clawing and scratching and yelling and sank down into the bottom of the grave. At that point, the first guy said, “You’ll never get out of here, boy!” Guess what? On hearing that eerie, disembodied voice from the other end of the grave, the second guy did! The disembodied voice from the grave was all the motivation he needed—and he was out in about two ticks.

Proverbs reminds us that motivation is a holy thing; it is a state of being that will energize you to do the hard—but right—thing. And, as we see throughout Proverbs, the Lord highly values and honors it. Consider these verses from this book of practical wisdom:

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. (Prov 13:4)

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. (Prov 14:23)

The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway. (Prov 15:19)

Speaking of motivation, one of my favorite motivational gurus, the late Zig Ziglar, said, “Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.” I agree: Just do it already! And Walt Disney gave us some free advice that we would do will to apply to our own lives: “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

So, quit talking and do it already!

Now if you are a committed Christ-follower, and if you are motivated, God has promised honor to you. If you are not, however, then you will get no psychological explanation or motivational pep talk from the Bible—only a swift kick to the seat of the pants and a warning: Get with it or get left in the dust of those in life who are motivated.

So, get with it already! God stands ready to bless you!

What is one area in your life in which you would need up your motivation game? Identify it, and my friend, just get after it!

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The Perfect Reflection Of Christ In Me

It Takes Fire To Burn Away Impurities

Synopsis: The prophet Malachi likened God to a refiner of silver. How comforting to know that God will never leave you in your furnace of affliction too long, but neither will he remove you from the fire too soon. You see, the Great Refiner knows just the right amount of time and heat you will need to endure in your furnace of affliction—your trials and tribulations—to burn out the dross and bring forth the reflection of his Son’s image in you. So, in light of that, here is your one assignment this week when you’re facing hardship: “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials.” (Jas 1:2)

Refiner's Fire

Moments With God // Proverbs 25:4

Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith.

A few years ago a guest pastor was preaching at our church, and he shared one of the most compelling testimonies I’d ever heard of how God had used unusual hardship throughout his life to bring him to his current place of tremendous kingdom usefulness. He likened his experience to being put through a refiner’s fire, and since most of us had no real experience with the actual refining of precious metals, he shared these insightful and inspiring words about the process:

When a silversmith purifies silver, he never takes his eyes off the furnace, because the silver will be injured if the fire gets too hot, even to the slightest degree, or if it stays too long. But if he takes the silver out too early, it won’t be purified. So when the silver is in the fire, the smith stays totally focused so that nothing distracts him. He carefully watches the silver, waiting for the right moment to take it out. And how does he know when it is just the right moment? He knows the silver is pure when he can see his face reflected in it.

The Old Testament prophet Malachi likened God to a refiner of silver. How comforting to know that he will never leave us in our furnace of affliction too long, but neither will he remove us from the refiner’s fire too soon. You see, the Great Refiner knows just the right amount of time and heat we will need to endure in our furnace of affliction—our trials and tribulations—to burn out the dross and bring forth the reflection of his Son’s image in us.

I want to give you just one assignment this week for the challenges and hardships you will face. It comes from James 1:2-4, and it is simply this:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

“Consider it pure joy!” Now James was not talking about putting on a smiley face or finding the happy place or faking it ‘til you make it in the midst of your challenges. Those kinds of responses to hardship probably indicate that you have slipped into denial. When James says to “consider,” he means to take a deliberate look at the weird, disappointing and painful stuff that happens to you and intentionally rejoice because you know that God is at work!

You see, God has promised to use your problems, among other things, and best of all, to sanctify your character. He will use whatever is trying you as fuel for the refiner’s fire to burn out everything in you that doesn’t look like Jesus. That’s why James writes that in your trials, “the testing of your faith produces perseverance that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So rejoice, my friend, even when it hurts—God is simply completing you! He will not let the heat get too hot nor will he leave you in it too long lest you get permanently injured. But neither will he take you out too soon. No, even right now, his watchful eye is trained on you, looking for that perfect moment when he sees the reflection of Jesus.

Reflect on Romans 8:28-29 each day this week: “We know that all things work together for good if we love God and are called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow he did predestine to become conformed to the image of the Son of God.” Now, in each of your trials this week, make the connection: Why does God work all things together for good? The answer: to make you like Christ!