Category Archives: Everyday Life

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Viewer Discretion Is Advised

Learn to T.H.I.N.K. Before You Decide, Speak, or Act

SYNOPSIS: How many lives have crashed and burned by a lack of discretion? How many careers have been ruined by an absence of understanding? How many marriages have failed and families imploded because of poor judgment? How much potential evaporated because someone did not make wise choices? Here’s a sobering exercise: Go back to your high school yearbook and take note of the wreckage of far too many people who squandered one opportunity after another simply by failing to exert discretion. Here’s the deal: God has given you a wonderful gift—the ability to choose wisely. Simply exercising discretion today will keep you from disaster tomorrow. I trust that you will use that gift to its fullest potential.

Discretion is Advised

Moments With God // Proverbs 2:11

Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

Harry Emerson Fosdick, the well-known preacher of a hundred years ago, wrote, “He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end.” The ability to choose the right road is what discretion is all about.

The dictionary defines discretion as sound judgment and the power to decide rightly. It is the ability to judge right from wrong and choose what is wholesome from what is harmful. Solomon, one of the wisest men who ever lived, tells us that discretion—the power to choose plus the decision to choose wisely—is one of the main ingredients to wisely navigating the sometimes rocky and often dangerous course on the journey of life.

How many lives have crashed and burned by a lack of discretion? How many careers have been ruined by an absence of understanding? How many marriages have failed and families imploded because of poor judgment? How much potential evaporated because someone did not make wise choices? Here’s a sobering exercise: Go back to your high school yearbook ten, twenty, or thirty years after your graduation, and chances are you will see the wreckage of far too many people who squandered one opportunity after another simply by failing to exert discretion.

As noted, the practice of discretion, or the lack thereof, tells much about who we are and the places we will go in life. Listen carefully to the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one makes.” She goes on, as does Solomon in Proverbs 2, to place the responsibility of exerting discretion and making wise choices squarely at our feet: “And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” (Tim Kimmel, Little House on the Freeway, 143)

God has given you a wonderful gift—the ability to choose wisely. Simply exercising discretion today will keep you from disaster tomorrow. I trust that you will use that gift to its fullest potential. The choice is yours!

Now, the question you likely want to ask me is, “How can I nurture discretion in my life?” Or, “how can I help my child learn to use discretion as they grow into their teen and young adult years?” Well, I would say, first of all, that prayer never hurts. Ask God for it. James 1:5 exhorts, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Beyond that, I think the THINK method ought to be a mental checklist we use and teach our children to use throughout the day. I am not sure who came up with this simple formula, but it is good. Before you decide, speak, and act, first THINK:

  • T – true: ask, “Is this true?”
  • H – helpful: ask, “Will this help me and others?”
  • I – inspiring: ask, “Will this inspire people to greater heights?”
  • N – necessary: ask, “Is it necessary for me to do this?”
  • K – kind: ask, “Will  those around me receive this as kindness?”

Train yourself—and your children—to THINK first, and your family will be known for its discretion.

Take A Moment: Ask someone who knows you well and has observed you over the years to evaluate your life in the areas of wisdom and discretion. Ask for their honest opinion and be ready to hear their answers. Be even more prepared to take immediate action if changes are appropriate. Additionally, interview someone known for discretion, and ask them to share their formula.

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Getting Unstuck From Relational Kindergarten

Social Intelligence

Synopsis: Do you lack emotional and social intelligence? Most people who do are usually not curious enough to even wonder. That is why they are stuck in relational and professional awkwardness. But if you do, then why not just go to some straight-shooter in your world and ask them what they think. And let me add a good rule of thumb: if they are honest enough to talk about your elephant in the room, and even if they don’t do it with a lot of grace and tact, “take it like a grown-up!” Then do something about it. Don’t stay stuck in emotional kindergarten or remedial manners class. With God’s help and good friends, you can develop self-awareness and get on the path to becoming a winsome person.

Moments With God // Proverbs 23:1-2

When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.

Some people just don’t get it! They are relatively attractive in their physical presentation, they are reasonably intelligent, and they have skill sets that should allow them to be successful. For all intents and purposes, they should be flourishing vocationally and relationally.

The problem is, that they have gaping deficits when it comes to emotional intelligence and social awareness. When it comes to knowing how to interact with people and act in certain settings, they are unaware, detached and we might even say, totally clueless. The light bulb is in the socket, but it ain’t burnin’ too bright if you know what I mean.

That’s the kind of person this proverb is describing. Although the particular emphasis here is on table manners, the greater thought has to do with both the kind of self and social awareness that will allow a person to have friends, move up the ladder of success in their career, get the kind of traction that allows them to make an impact in the world, and enjoy the life-long love a spouse who just flat out adores them and children who admire them into their own well-adjusted adulthood.

I’ve run into people like that occasionally, and invariably they will complain that they have no close friends, or that they just can’t seem to catch a break at work, or question why God doesn’t seem to provide them a serious love interest even though they’ve prayed about it. Even if they are aware of their shortcomings, some will even say, “Well, people ought to just accept me…I am what I am.”

Well, if that’s your attitude, good luck. You’ll probably be saying that to the very end when you are old, lonely, and miserable!

Here’s the deal: If perhaps after reading this you’re wondering if you lack emotional and social intelligence, why not just go to some straight shooter in your world and ask them what they think. And let me add a good rule of thumb: if they are honest enough to talk about your elephant in the room, and even if they don’t do it with a lot of grace and tact, “take it like a grown-up!”

And then do something about it. Don’t stay stuck in emotional kindergarten or remedial manners class. You can develop self-awareness, you know. How?

One, ask God. He is in the business of answering prayer. His indwelling Spirit wants to have more control of you, and as you yield to him, good stuff will start to happen. James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” In fact, this entire book of Proverbs was written to “impart shrewdness to the morally naive, and a discerning plan to the young person.” (Prov 1:4)

Two, ask someone who seems to be socially skilled and relationally successful for a few pointers—then start implementing their interpersonal tips in a way that is appropriate for you. The Apostle Paul exhorted his disciples, “Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” (Phil 4:9)

And three, look around. Watch people. See how others behave in social settings. That should give you a clue as to what is appropriate or not. And just a caveat here: Make sure you are in proper social settings. Be smart about it, because you’re probably not going to pick any redeeming social graces in some of the questionable places that now seem to be acceptable in our unguarded age. Again, taking our cue from Paul, “pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example.” (Phil 3:17)

You may never be the slickest person in the bunch or have the smoothness of some people—and that’s okay. But God does want you to be a person of grace—and he’s got plenty of that to give you, free of charge. No matter where you are on the emotional-social continuum, I hope you will access his unlimited supply.

Much of the book of Proverbs has to do with our personal development, and the truth is, not too many people have the personal fortitude and self-awareness to pull off growth in these areas on their own. Most of us need a partner to hold our feet to the fire for personal growth. So I challenge you to not let another week go by without bringing someone onto your personal development team.

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Doing Life Well

Make the “Fear of the Lord” the Center and the Circumference of Your Life

SYNOPSIS: Whether you are doing life as a parent, or you are simply doing life as a child of God, remember that holiness is a far better attribute than happiness and the fear of God outshines feeling good every time. So, learn to lean into the Lord’s discipline, and help your children to embrace it, too. Put wisdom at the top of your wish list—for you and them. And if you desire for you and yours to do life well, make “the fear of the Lord” the center and the circumference of your home.

Make “The Fear of the Lord” The Center and the Circumference of Your Life

Moments With God // Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

“You ignorant outfit!” If I heard that scathing remark from my red-faced-vein-in-the-forehead-about-to-explode father once when I was growing up, I heard it a couple dozen times. Obviously, my childhood home wasn’t one of those touchy-feely places where mom and dad gave a whole lot of thought to my self-esteem. They were determined not to produce an offspring who turned out to be a fool—someone who is, as the Bible defines it, morally deficient.

The older I get, the more I appreciate their old-school approach. As columnist George Will writes,

“Modern parents want to nurture so skillfully that Mother Nature will gasp in admiration at the marvels their parenting produces from the soft clay of children.”

Not my parents; they were more concerned that one day I would stand before God, at which point all three of us—dad, mom, and child—would hear, “well done, good and faithful servants.”

Whether you are doing life as a parent, or you are simply doing life as a child of God, remember that holiness is a far better attribute than happiness and the fear of God outshines feeling good every time. So, learn to lean into the Lord’s discipline, and help your children to embrace it, too. Put wisdom at the top of your wish list—for you and them. And if you desire for you and yours to do life well, make “the fear of the Lord” the center and the circumference of your home. Solomon said it this way in Proverbs 1:7,

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

My friend, the fear of the Lord is what enables us to do life courageously, confidently and flourishingly well—and by the way, it’s the only way that produces the kind of esteem worth having: Not self-esteem but God’s esteem!

Take A Moment: Find an opportunity as soon as possible to talk with your children about 1), what the fear of the Lord really is, and 2) the important distinction between eternal holiness and temporal happiness.

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Love Is Kind

Love Is Action, Not Abstraction

SYNOPSIS: More than anything else right now, this world needs to be infused with massive doses of kindness, and no other group of people is more equipped to lead the way in flooding Planet Earth with kindness than Christ’s followers. In fact, just about the only currency the Christian community has these days to impact culture is acts of compassion wrapped in genuine kindness. Transforming our culture will not happen by Christians gaining political power or imposing their collective will; neither by cursing the darkness nor by leveraging enormous resources, but by modeling love dressed as simple acts of kindness in the common spaces of life—offering an encouraging word to a friend, humbly serving the poor, giving undivided attention to the marginalized, and last but certainly not least, unconditionally forgiving those who have offended. If we started a revolution of kindness we could change the world!

Making Love Work // 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Among the many expressions the Apostle Paul uses to describe and define agape—that is, the kind of love that characterizes God himself—one of the most profound of his descriptions is that love is kind. I will say it again: love is kind.

Think for a moment where kindness begins: God’s loving-kindness to you. And that is precisely where your kindness toward others is rooted—in God’s kindness. Romans 3:23-24 tells us,

All of us have sinned…yet now God declares us ‘not guilty’ of offending Him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in His kindness freely takes away all our sins. (LB)

Simply because He is kind, God has wiped clean your record. There’s no condemnation if you put your faith in Christ. That is good news! Consider this: Even before you were born, God already knew every evil, mean and nasty thing you would say and do. Yet He still made you and He still loves you, and He still sent Jesus to die in your place.

That is the kindness of God, and that is precisely why Paul said in Ephesians 4:32,

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

You can take a giant step toward a harvest of the kindness fruit in your life (after all, kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit) by forgiving people who have offended you. And that is precisely your assignment today—mine, too: Go down the list of offended, estranged, or strained relationships, and simply, unconditionally, fully and personally forgive them—even if they don’t deserve it! Jesus said in Luke 6:35,

Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

There is simply no more compelling witness than God’s kindness on display through you. Romans 2:4 asks, “Can’t you see that God’s kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” God’s kindness toward you, even though you have sinned against Him, draws you back to Him. And so it is that the kindness you demonstrate by forgiving those who have sinned against you will be the very thing that draws them back into a restored relationship with you—and perhaps even God if they have wandered from Him.

Love is the most powerful force for good in the universe. When you are kind, you transform love the noun into a verb—love becomes an action, not an abstraction. Arguably, love clothed as kindness is the most powerful force on earth, precisely because most people know very little about genuine kindness.

More than anything else right now, our world needs massive doses of kindness, and Christ-followers ought to lead the way modeling it. We have the power to change a life, a community, a nation—not by gaining political power, not by imposing our will, not by cursing the darkness, not by giving away enormous resources—but by love dressed as simple acts of kindness, again, not the least of which is through forgiveness.

Let’s start a revolution of kindness—let’s change the world!

Take A Moment: With whom do you need to demonstrate kindness today? And what expression of kindness will be most meaningful to them—forgiveness, an encouraging word, an act of service, giving them your undivided attention? Give them a gift of kindness and so show yourself to be a true child of your infinitely kind Father in Heaven.

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Every Breath You Take

Each One Is A Gift From God

SYNOPSIS: I take 23,040 breaths each day and will breathe in and breathe out the breath of life 8,409,600 this coming year. God willing, that will be over 8 million gifts of life from my Creator in 2022, who will have graciously and mercifully supplied every single one. If I have no other cause to offer thanks to God this year, I will still have at least 8,409,600 reasons. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

New Beginnings // Claim: Genesis 2:7

Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

If you have begun a “Through the Bible in One Year” program, you likely started in Genesis 1. And in the midst of many extraordinary aspects of the creation account, as you come into chapter 2, you find this amazing verse in Genesis 2:7,

Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

Interestingly, the phrase “breath of life” is used twenty-four times in the Old Testament and it not found in other ancient literary creation accounts. In the Book of Job, this phrase is plainly connected to the Spirit of God:

The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life. (Job 33:4)

Into every human being, God deposits something of Himself. While all living creatures have breath, which gives them life, they do not have the living Spirit of God as do humans. Among other things, this makes human life sacred above all the different life forms. What a special gift: God has implanted His very breath, His Spirit, in you and me.

Now I don’t know how you react to that, but for me, it causes gratitude for the Creator’s gift of life to well up and overflow from within me. God didn’t have to form man out of the dust of the ground as the highest, most treasured work of creation, but He did. O, how he must love us! And again, I am simply undone with thanks for the amazing gift of life.

Fundamental to a life of gratitude is the recognition that even my very breath is a gift from my Creator.

I take 23,040 breaths each day and will breathe in and breathe out the breath of life 8,409,600 this coming year. If I live to be 80 years of age, I will have taken about 672,768,000 gifts of life from God, who has graciously, mercifully supplied every single one.

If I had no other cause to offer thanks to God today, I would still have 23,040 reasons. Tomorrow is a whole different matter!

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

Of course, authentic gratitude requires that I demonstrate it in how I live. It is not truly thanksgiving unless it becomes “thanksliving.” I love how Philip James Bailey puts it:

Let each man think himself an act of God,
His mind a thought, his life a breath of God;
And let each try, by great thoughts and good deeds,
To show the most of Heaven he hath in him.

That is my glad assignment for this day through every 23,040 breaths that I will take: to show the most of Heaven that I have in me.

I hope you will join me.

Take A Moment: 23,040 breaths today—23,040 reasons for gratitude. How many offerings of praise can you offer up to the Breath of Life over the next twenty-four hours?

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Thankfully, God’s Love Never Runs Out!

Trying Writing Your Own Psalm of Gratitude

If you’re sharing a Thanksgiving meal with family or friends today, there’s a chance that something will run out: the gravy, the stuffing, or the pumpkin pie. Thankfully, there is something that will never run out at your celebration: God’s love for you! Psalm 107:1-2 says, “Oh, thank God—he’s so good! His love never runs out. All of you set free by God, tell the world!” So why don’t you do just that: tell the world, or at least those you are with today. Write an “O give thanks to the Lord for he is good” psalm, and then, like the psalmist suggested, tell everyone how grateful you are. It will do you, and them, a world of good.

Going Deep // Focus: Psalm 107:1-2

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the LORD say this!

If you are sharing a Thanksgiving meal with loved ones today, there is a chance that something will run out: the gravy, the stuffing, or the pumpkin pie. Thankfully, there is something that will never run out that will be present at your celebration: God’s love for you!

I like the way The Message version renders the psalmist’s call to gratitude: “Oh, thank God—he’s so good! His love never runs out. All of you set free by God, tell the world!”

It is true—and it is more than just christianese: God is good—all the time! That is the testimony of my life—and I have a feeling it is true of your life as well. Certainly, I ought to be proclaiming God’s goodness to anyone who will listen, and even to those who won’t, much more than I do. Add to that the fact that I am, on my best day, not so good, and on my worst day, frankly, pretty bad, only adds to the brilliance of God’s overwhelming goodness.

The New King James translation of the psalmist’s words are even more meaningful to me: “Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.” Mercy—I can really relate to that. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying: I’ll take either enduring love or enduring mercy—I can’t live without either one. Love and mercy are simply different facets of the same diamond we understand as the goodness of God.

But God’s mercy really speaks to me, and I’ll bet if you thought about, it, you would say the same. Someone said that mercy is not getting what you deserve. The truth is, you and I depend upon God’s mercy every single moment just to draw in the next breath, since the holy and righteous God has had every reason and right to annihilate us from the planet because of our sinfulness. Jeremiah said it well in Lamentations 3:22-23,

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

The entirety of Psalm 107 is simply giving one example after another of how God in his faithful love and enduring mercy has freed his people from what they deserve. And at the end of each example, the psalmist expresses the call to gratitude:

Oh, thank God, he is so good! His love never runs out!

I’ll bet you could write your own Psalm 107. In fact, that might be a good assignment for you on this Thanksgiving Day. And then, like the psalmist suggested, we should go tell the world. Now that’s a pretty tall order, so how about starting with the people with whom you will enjoy the holiday meal today? Write your psalm and share it with your spouse, your family, and your friends.

I am not sure how they will feel about it, but you will certainly feel pretty good. That’s what heartfelt gratitude to God for his faithful love and enduring mercy does.

Going Deeper With God: Write your own Psalm 107—a psalm of gratitude—on this Thanksgiving Day. And then, like the psalmist suggested, go tell the world of how thankful you are. Or, you could start with the people at the holiday meal today. Write your psalm and share it with your spouse, your family, and your friends. It will do you a world of good.

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Bad News Immunity

When You Fear the Lord, You Have Nothing to Fear

There is no such thing as bad news for the God-fearing, commandment-keeping believer. I didn’t say they are immune to bad things, only to bad news. You see, when God is on your side, or perhaps more correctly, when you are on God’s side, no matter what, you win—always! And that’s good news.

Read: Psalm 100 // Focus: Psalm 112:1,7

“Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.”

You’ve heard it said, “no news is good news.” The psalmist puts a different spin on that old bromide: There is no bad news! You see, for the one who “fears the Lord” and “takes delight in his commands” (Psalm 112:1), good things will happen and even bad things will be turned into blessings (Psalm 112:4). Furthermore, God will not only pour out blessings on the one who fears him, but ensures prosperity to their posterity, according to Psalm 112:2,

“Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”

When you fear the Lord, you have nothing to fear! (Psalm 112:1,8)

Now I know what you are thinking: “No bad news for the believer—you gotta be kidding!” Yes, there is no such thing as bad news for the God-fearing, commandment-keeping believer. I realize that you could point to any number of faithful people in the Bible—Joseph, David, Daniel, Jeremiah, the disciples, Paul, even Jesus himself—and remind me that they indeed experienced bad news during their respective journeys on earth. And talk about bad news—what about Job? If you were to look up the definition of bad news in the dictionary, you would find Job’s picture there.!

I wholeheartedly agree with your point, but that is not what I am talking about. I didn’t say that the godly are immune to bad things, only to bad news. You see, when God is on your side, or perhaps more correctly, when you are on God’s side, no matter what, you win! And that’s good news. How so? God turns even bad things into good things for you, and while he is at it, he uses them to bring glory to himself as well. That’s what is promised to God-fearing, commandment-keeping believers in his Word. I love how John Newton, the former notorious slave trader who was dramatically and profoundly converted to Christ, put it,

“We serve a gracious Master who knows how to overrule even our mistakes to His glory and our own advantage.”

Wow! No bad news for believers! If you doubt Newton’s theology, take a moment to absorb Roman 8:28,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Now please don’t think I am promising a pain-free life. I am not; nor is God. What God is promising is to use all the things that occur in your life for his purposes, and even use them as the very catalyst that will conform you to the image of his Son. From that perspective, what others consider bad news you can embrace as good news. So in a very real sense, you, dear God-fearing believer, are immune to bad news.

Now that’s what I call good news!

Making Life Work:Make a list of all the difficult, unwanted things you are facing right now. Once you’ve done that, pray over each one this prayer: God, thank you for using this to shape me!